DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an African American woman working in a largely white corporate institution. There are only two black women in my division of about 50 employees. She and I look nothing alike. Specifically, I am tall, with dark skin and short hair; she is at least 6 inches shorter than me, with light skin and long hair. And yet, regularly, co-workers mistake us for each other. It is blatantly racist to me. They don’t make that mistake with one another, even when they may be referring to two blonds of similar height and stature. I don’t get it, and it’s so annoying. What can I do to be seen in my company? -- Invisible

DEAR INVISIBLE: Your job is to educate your co-workers -- to the best of your ability -- without a chip on your shoulder. It doesn’t make sense that people who work directly with you would not be able to discern who is who, especially if there are only two black women on the team.

Before you present to your group, start by introducing yourself. Literally say, “I am (fill in your name).” Follow that with your presentation. If you do that every time you speak, chances are, someone will ask you why you are introducing yourself to a group of people who know you. That’s when you can point out that they often call you by your colleague’s name. In the interest of clarity, you want to be certain that they know who they are talking to. If they scoff or say that’s ridiculous, that’s your chance to agree and point out that it should be obvious that you are two different people, but given how often your identities are mistaken, you felt it necessary to reintroduce yourself each time you speak.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of the things that seems to be recommended during this health scare with the coronavirus is to use hand sanitizers. My husband has long believed that these products are ineffective, and he is opposed to us using them. We have two children. I don’t want to go against my husband, but I do want to protect my children. What do you recommend? -- Keeping Clean

DEAR KEEPING CLEAN: The formal recommendation is for everyone is to wash their hands regularly and thoroughly with soap and water. Actual soap is the best way to keep your hands clean. Hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol content is recommended for times when you cannot wash your hands with soap. The high concentration of alcohol is important. That is something to share with your husband and to be sure to provide for your children as backup.

To honor your husband’s belief, which is wise, is to be vigilant as a family about handwashing. Teach your children so that they can see what it looks like. Remind them not to touch their faces with their hands or touch others as they go about their day. This is not easy to do, but it's important during this tense period.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is well-meaning, but extremely nosy and pushy. She is like the grand inquisitor of my life. If I tell her one thing, she asks me 10 more questions. If I don’t want to answer some of her questions, she gets offended and says that that’s what friends do -- tell each other everything. The thing is, she doesn’t tell me much about herself. She extracts all kinds of information about me but doesn’t reciprocate. I’m over it. I am tired of answering all of her questions. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I need to figure out how to get her to back off. Since I have allowed this for so long, I figure she will be shocked by my pushback. What should I do? -- Enough

DEAR ENOUGH: You have reached your limit, a sign of maturity on your part. In order to institute your new boundaries, you will have to flex your muscles and speak up. Next time your friend starts pushing for personal details that you would rather not share, don’t answer. You don’t have to say anything. When she asks you again or inquires as to why you aren’t answering, tell her that you have had enough of her inquisition. You do not want to answer all of her questions and you have decided that you aren’t going to do so anymore. If she acts hurt or offended, tell her that is not your intention. You just need your privacy. This may make your relationship cool off for a while, and that may be perfect, at least for now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend, “Anne,” is currently searching for summer internships for her professional resume. There have been many that she has in mind, though there is one organization at which she really wants to intern. This internship consists of decent pay and flexible hours, and it looks amazing on resumes. The main requirement for this organization is a high GPA. Anne does decently in her schoolwork, but it does not reach the benchmark of the internship. This organization is very selective with its applicants. Anne has worked at different establishments and even has a lot of volunteer experience. She has all this experience, but she does not meet the GPA requirement. Should she just go for it? Or search for something else? -- Striving for Success

DEAR STRIVING FOR SUCCESS: Your friend should certainly apply for this internship and include a letter that speaks of her passion and commitment as it also describes why she thinks she is a good fit for the role. But she should not end her application process there. She should apply to several other internships, including some that better match her qualifications. Most internships are highly competitive. She should not assume that she will be selected for the one she wants. This would be true even if she matched all of the requirements.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a social media message from a guy who went to college with me. We have not communicated in more than 20 years, and there he was in my inbox. He was very pleasant, and we started chatting on WhatsApp. It has been nice striking up a casual friendship with this guy -- up until he made what I consider to be the “big ask.” He lives in another country and wants to visit the United States. He asked if he could stay with me on this visit. I don’t know this guy like that, and I do not feel comfortable inviting him to stay with me.

I don’t mean to be rude, but this request came as a surprise, and I do not want to agree to this -- nor do I want to seem cold or mean. Nothing in our communication, from my perspective, should have led this man to believe I was inviting him to visit me. What should I say? -- Long-Lost Ties

DEAR LONG-LOST TIES: “No” is a complete sentence.

Without seeming mean or cold, you can simply be honest. Tell this man that you have enjoyed getting to know him since he reached out on social media. Offer that you would be happy to meet up with him and go out to dinner or something if and when he comes to the States. But draw the line by explaining that you did not mean to mislead him in any way, but you are not inviting him to stay at your home. He is not coming to the U.S. solely to spend time with you. This is important to remember so that you do not unwittingly get stuck with this guy upon his arrival.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a part of an organization that requires internship experience. I have a list of places in mind, so I feel set. My minor setback for applying for these internships is my lack of recommendation letters. I keep in contact with many of my professors, but I am only close to three. In recent semesters, I have been so busy with my schoolwork that I forgot to bond with my professors. Thankfully, this semester I am learning from my past mistakes. Many of my professors are close to me, but still not close enough to write my recommendation letters.

I have until next week to get professors to write me letters of recommendation. The three professors I am close with are barely available, so I do not have enough connections. What should I do in this situation? -- Lost Connection

DEAR LOST CONNECTION: Reach out to those three professors anyway. Either speak to them in person and make your request, or send them an email expressing your need and asking for their help. Whether in person or in writing, be clear and specific. Remind them of any positive highlights of you as a student in their classes. Let them know why you want the particular internship and why you believe you are right for it. Thank them for considering being a reference for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)