DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, a guy I haven’t talked to in years recommended me for a job. Out of the blue, it seemed, he called me and told me about this opportunity. A few months went by before things came together. Well, I got the job, but in the flurry of everything, I forgot to contact the guy to tell him I got it. I’m embarrassed that so much time has passed, but I feel like I should still let him know. How can I do it so I don’t seem like an ingrate? -- Closing the Loop

DEAR CLOSING THE LOOP: It is not too late to say thank you. Gather your thoughts. When you contact your friend -- either by phone or in an email -- you want to say thank you for the referral and give highlights about the job so that this man can see how it’s working out for you. You can tell him you are happy to report that the job is a good fit for you in a few particular ways. Rather than apologizing for the delay in reaching out to him, give him a full report that illustrates why his referral was valuable and how grateful you are that this is manifesting right now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Since I have been making my own money, I have become so greedy. Every time my family asks for money, I give them a generous amount. I never give more than they ask, though, since I want to save some for me. I have no problem lending people money if they desperately need it, but lately, money seems to be decreasing in my bank account. I have gotten to the point where, if someone asks me for money, I start to whine.

Money has made me act foolishly and childishly. I don’t want money to make me into a different person. Lately, it has been hard due to transportation fares and groceries, but I also want to help out my family. How do I tackle this? -- Greed

DEAR GREED: The fact that you have a job does not give anyone license to share your money -- including your family. You may want to make your parents the exception, as they have sacrificed so much to raise you. But truly, you need to step back and realize that the reason you have money is because you work hard for it. You should create a plan for your life that includes an outline of how much money you need to have.

It is perfectly normal for you to use your money for your basic needs, a bit of extracurricular fun and savings. Giving to charity can also be on your list -- at a small percentage for now. If you choose to make your family members your charity cases, so be it, but know that enabling them only encourages them to demand more from you. Instead, you should suggest that they go to work, too, so that they can pay for their own lives.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been planning a conference for my business for almost a year now. In the midst of this coronavirus scare, many conferences are being canceled, and I am getting worried. My company counts on this conference as its primary source of revenue each year. If we have to postpone it, I don’t know if I will still have a job. So much hinges on whether or not this event occurs. What can I do to help with my own job security at a time when we really are not in control? -- Facing Reality

DEAR FACING REALITY: The effects of this public health crisis on each one of us are so far-reaching that we do not yet know how our businesses and very livelihoods will be affected in the near and long term.

In times of uncertainty, survivors get creative. This is what you need to do now. Think about how this conference can be salvaged. Is there a way to turn it into a virtual event, where participants can subscribe and still have the benefit of the information and engagement, but from a distance? Perhaps you can even incorporate speakers in your virtual conference by having them speak via a video streaming service. Keep thinking. If you make yourself invaluable by using your creativity to effect positive change for your company, you create job security.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend’s father died, and the funeral is coming up. He was an elder in the community, and many of his friends want to honor him at his service -- but the recommendation for the elderly is that they not go out in the midst of this health scare. We live in an area that has been identified as having many cases of the coronavirus.

My father wants to go to the service, but I think I should discourage him. I have been talking to some of my friends whose parents are in the same predicament. I want to recommend that we, their children, go to the service but leave our parents at home. What do you think? -- Quarantine and Grief

DEAR QUARANTINE AND GRIEF: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the group at highest risk from this disease is our elderly community. Because many elders also have compromised health, it is recommended that they do all in their power to avoid contact with others who may have been exposed to the virus, as their chances of survival are diminished based on their preexisting health challenges.

With that in mind, your idea is a good one. It will be important for the family to have representation of loved ones at the funeral services. By encouraging your generation to attend the funeral -- people who grew up with this man and can appropriately honor him -- you will support the grieving family without exposing the surviving older generation to the potential for infection.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My school is in chaos.

Many students are avoiding classes due to the outbreak of coronavirus in New York City. People are discriminating against Asian American students in my school. When I go out in public, people seem to avoid me more frequently. At school, the Asian kids are avoided. Being a mixed-race, I do not appear fully Asian; however, I have experienced some shunning and more than a few side-eye glances. One of my friends is scared to walk around by herself due to the amount of violence against Asians. This discrimination is starting to happen in my school as well. What should I do to fight against the paranoia? -- Paranoid

DEAR PARANOID: Sadly, when people are afraid, they lash out at others -- often without facts and figures to back them up. It is believed that this strain of coronavirus, COVID-19, originated in China, but you are obviously far away from China. As the disease spreads, some people see anyone who appears to be Asian as the cause of the disease.

What can you do? In the short term, work to keep yourself healthy. As uncomfortable as being avoided and judged may feel, turn it around and welcome the avoidance as a way of keeping separated from unhealthy people. Travel with friends who are worried so that you feel safer together. Resist the urge to debate your health status or the obvious racism that you are experiencing. This will not help you right now. You want to avoid any reason to swap bodily fluids, including yelling at others and potentially sharing spit. This virus is serious, so let the side eyes go, for now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend of many years is possibly avoiding me. I recently texted him to see if he wanted to meet so we can catch up. He said he was too busy and wouldn’t be able to make it, which is fine. Later on, I asked if we could hang out the next week, to which he responded no. I understand he has a personal life, so I asked what would work for him. He never responded in the coming weeks. Due to this delay, I texted him and asked when he was free. Finally, he gave me a date, and our hangout was set up.

On the day we were supposed to meet, he canceled. He said it was due to the amount of work he had to do. At this point, my friend is pushing me aside. Whenever he cancels, he never calls or texts me back. Why would he do this? Does he not want to be friends? -- Pushed Away

DEAR PUSHED AWAY: As badly as this hurts, your former best friend is proving that you no longer fill that role in his life, at least not right now. Step back. You do not deserve to be treated this way, so do not allow it. Stop calling him. Stop trying to schedule a meeting. Pivot away from him and to yourself. Lick your wounds. Reorder your steps and accept that he no longer deserves the hallowed role of your best friend. It is time to move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)