DEAR HARRIETTE: My school is in chaos.

Many students are avoiding classes due to the outbreak of coronavirus in New York City. People are discriminating against Asian American students in my school. When I go out in public, people seem to avoid me more frequently. At school, the Asian kids are avoided. Being a mixed-race, I do not appear fully Asian; however, I have experienced some shunning and more than a few side-eye glances. One of my friends is scared to walk around by herself due to the amount of violence against Asians. This discrimination is starting to happen in my school as well. What should I do to fight against the paranoia? -- Paranoid

DEAR PARANOID: Sadly, when people are afraid, they lash out at others -- often without facts and figures to back them up. It is believed that this strain of coronavirus, COVID-19, originated in China, but you are obviously far away from China. As the disease spreads, some people see anyone who appears to be Asian as the cause of the disease.

What can you do? In the short term, work to keep yourself healthy. As uncomfortable as being avoided and judged may feel, turn it around and welcome the avoidance as a way of keeping separated from unhealthy people. Travel with friends who are worried so that you feel safer together. Resist the urge to debate your health status or the obvious racism that you are experiencing. This will not help you right now. You want to avoid any reason to swap bodily fluids, including yelling at others and potentially sharing spit. This virus is serious, so let the side eyes go, for now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend of many years is possibly avoiding me. I recently texted him to see if he wanted to meet so we can catch up. He said he was too busy and wouldn’t be able to make it, which is fine. Later on, I asked if we could hang out the next week, to which he responded no. I understand he has a personal life, so I asked what would work for him. He never responded in the coming weeks. Due to this delay, I texted him and asked when he was free. Finally, he gave me a date, and our hangout was set up.

On the day we were supposed to meet, he canceled. He said it was due to the amount of work he had to do. At this point, my friend is pushing me aside. Whenever he cancels, he never calls or texts me back. Why would he do this? Does he not want to be friends? -- Pushed Away

DEAR PUSHED AWAY: As badly as this hurts, your former best friend is proving that you no longer fill that role in his life, at least not right now. Step back. You do not deserve to be treated this way, so do not allow it. Stop calling him. Stop trying to schedule a meeting. Pivot away from him and to yourself. Lick your wounds. Reorder your steps and accept that he no longer deserves the hallowed role of your best friend. It is time to move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends told me about this guy that she has been dating for a while. She really likes his company and how much of a gentleman he is. The only downside is that he smells. I asked if he had any religious restrictions to washing, and she said he doesn’t. She says his odor is so bad, it fills up a room and people avoid them. It sounded a bit extreme, but now she’s saying that it’s hard to be near him, and she is starting to be self-conscious. She worries that she smells bad when she’s around him. This is a bit rough, but now that I think about it, how do you tell a person they smell bad in a nice way? Is there any way my friend can nicely tell her date about his body odor? -- What to Say

DEAR WHAT TO SAY: One of the steps of intimacy is figuring out how to address tough subjects with each other. Hygiene is one of those extremely touchy subjects. What I have seen over time -- and I hope this doesn’t sound sexist -- is that women can be positive influences on men in relationships in this way. Sometimes when men have been single for a long time, they have not paid close attention to things like body odor. Being in a relationship makes that a glaring concern. Your friend should tell her boyfriend that she has noticed that he sometimes has a strong scent. She can ask him what products he uses to bathe and potentially recommend or even give him products that may be helpful.

Your friend should know, too, that beyond religious concerns, sometimes people smell like the food that they eat. Depending on his diet, the smell may be exuding from his pores. That requires a completely different level of engagement to address. But basic hygiene is a good start. Chances are, he will be more mindful of bathing if she brings it up to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A former employee of mine is getting married. I have known about this for about a year. Naturally, I expected to be invited. Well, I just learned that most of the members of my staff who worked with her were indeed invited, but I was not. I have checked my mail every day for a couple of weeks, and I’ve received nothing. Should I check in with her to make sure it wasn’t an oversight? I don’t want to make waves, but I really can’t believe that she wouldn’t have invited me. -- Passed Over

DEAR PASSED OVER: Resist the urge to ask your former employee if you were invited to her wedding. As much as it stings right now, trust that you do not want to make her life any more challenging than it is. The chopping block for invitation lists is serious and mostly has to do with budget. Couples make tough decisions as they whittle down their lists. Perhaps this woman invited only former colleagues who were very close to her. Perhaps it was an oversight. Whatever the case may be, let her deal with it later rather than you bringing it up.

To the best of your ability, forgive her for her omission, too. If you truly care about her, send her a gift anyway, and do not hold a grudge. It’s likely that lots of folks she cares about weren’t invited.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend, “Leslie,” who recently gave me some pretty shocking news. She found out that her boyfriend of four years has been cheating on her with another girl. Leslie told me about how she had her suspicions, but she wasn’t sure until a close friend of hers broke the news.

What makes this situation extra heartbreaking is how Leslie is extremely close to her boyfriend’s family. They treat her like a daughter. She even recently went on vacation to visit his family overseas! Leslie loves his family as much as they love her, and she does not want to tell them out of fear of breaking their hearts. She is going through a lot of stress and heartbreak from this situation. I am happy that she broke up with her boyfriend, but now she has to worry about telling his family about the breakup. Should she tell his family or have him tell his own family that he cheated? -- Split Up

DEAR SPLIT UP: Your friend is in a predicament that is not uncommon for couples in long-term relationships. Naturally, both partners get close to the other’s family. That is a sign of a healthy relationship. The challenge, of course, is that if there is a breakup, it affects more than the couple.

Your friend has the right to tell her ex’s family that the two of them broke up. She does not need to share all of the details, but it is OK for her to say that he broke her heart and that she is working through it. She can add that if they want to know more about what happened, they should talk to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is no doubt that Instagram is a daily chore in today’s society. We use it to take selfies, make business connections, post our achievements, etc. My best friend is almost always on Instagram. I remember going to her house to hang out, and she spent the entire time on her phone. I had to tell her to get off her phone because I came over specifically for her. I was once in the middle of talking to her when she pulled out her phone and started scrolling Instagram.

I have told her constantly that it is rude to look at her phone when I am right in front of her. I am so irritated by her behavior. It makes me wonder why she even hangs out with me -- she seems to want to be on her phone instead. I am afraid to tell her my feelings since she usually gets defensive or says she “never” uses her phone around me. Should I tell her how I feel? -- Disconnected

DEAR DISCONNECTED: Do tell your friend -- very directly. Explain that you don’t want to hang out with her anymore if you have to constantly compete with her social media network. Request that she put her phone down or turn it off when you are together. If she refuses, don’t visit with her for a while, and see if your absence has an effect.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)