DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends told me about this guy that she has been dating for a while. She really likes his company and how much of a gentleman he is. The only downside is that he smells. I asked if he had any religious restrictions to washing, and she said he doesn’t. She says his odor is so bad, it fills up a room and people avoid them. It sounded a bit extreme, but now she’s saying that it’s hard to be near him, and she is starting to be self-conscious. She worries that she smells bad when she’s around him. This is a bit rough, but now that I think about it, how do you tell a person they smell bad in a nice way? Is there any way my friend can nicely tell her date about his body odor? -- What to Say

DEAR WHAT TO SAY: One of the steps of intimacy is figuring out how to address tough subjects with each other. Hygiene is one of those extremely touchy subjects. What I have seen over time -- and I hope this doesn’t sound sexist -- is that women can be positive influences on men in relationships in this way. Sometimes when men have been single for a long time, they have not paid close attention to things like body odor. Being in a relationship makes that a glaring concern. Your friend should tell her boyfriend that she has noticed that he sometimes has a strong scent. She can ask him what products he uses to bathe and potentially recommend or even give him products that may be helpful.

Your friend should know, too, that beyond religious concerns, sometimes people smell like the food that they eat. Depending on his diet, the smell may be exuding from his pores. That requires a completely different level of engagement to address. But basic hygiene is a good start. Chances are, he will be more mindful of bathing if she brings it up to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A former employee of mine is getting married. I have known about this for about a year. Naturally, I expected to be invited. Well, I just learned that most of the members of my staff who worked with her were indeed invited, but I was not. I have checked my mail every day for a couple of weeks, and I’ve received nothing. Should I check in with her to make sure it wasn’t an oversight? I don’t want to make waves, but I really can’t believe that she wouldn’t have invited me. -- Passed Over

DEAR PASSED OVER: Resist the urge to ask your former employee if you were invited to her wedding. As much as it stings right now, trust that you do not want to make her life any more challenging than it is. The chopping block for invitation lists is serious and mostly has to do with budget. Couples make tough decisions as they whittle down their lists. Perhaps this woman invited only former colleagues who were very close to her. Perhaps it was an oversight. Whatever the case may be, let her deal with it later rather than you bringing it up.

To the best of your ability, forgive her for her omission, too. If you truly care about her, send her a gift anyway, and do not hold a grudge. It’s likely that lots of folks she cares about weren’t invited.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend, “Leslie,” who recently gave me some pretty shocking news. She found out that her boyfriend of four years has been cheating on her with another girl. Leslie told me about how she had her suspicions, but she wasn’t sure until a close friend of hers broke the news.

What makes this situation extra heartbreaking is how Leslie is extremely close to her boyfriend’s family. They treat her like a daughter. She even recently went on vacation to visit his family overseas! Leslie loves his family as much as they love her, and she does not want to tell them out of fear of breaking their hearts. She is going through a lot of stress and heartbreak from this situation. I am happy that she broke up with her boyfriend, but now she has to worry about telling his family about the breakup. Should she tell his family or have him tell his own family that he cheated? -- Split Up

DEAR SPLIT UP: Your friend is in a predicament that is not uncommon for couples in long-term relationships. Naturally, both partners get close to the other’s family. That is a sign of a healthy relationship. The challenge, of course, is that if there is a breakup, it affects more than the couple.

Your friend has the right to tell her ex’s family that the two of them broke up. She does not need to share all of the details, but it is OK for her to say that he broke her heart and that she is working through it. She can add that if they want to know more about what happened, they should talk to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is no doubt that Instagram is a daily chore in today’s society. We use it to take selfies, make business connections, post our achievements, etc. My best friend is almost always on Instagram. I remember going to her house to hang out, and she spent the entire time on her phone. I had to tell her to get off her phone because I came over specifically for her. I was once in the middle of talking to her when she pulled out her phone and started scrolling Instagram.

I have told her constantly that it is rude to look at her phone when I am right in front of her. I am so irritated by her behavior. It makes me wonder why she even hangs out with me -- she seems to want to be on her phone instead. I am afraid to tell her my feelings since she usually gets defensive or says she “never” uses her phone around me. Should I tell her how I feel? -- Disconnected

DEAR DISCONNECTED: Do tell your friend -- very directly. Explain that you don’t want to hang out with her anymore if you have to constantly compete with her social media network. Request that she put her phone down or turn it off when you are together. If she refuses, don’t visit with her for a while, and see if your absence has an effect.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that things are heating up in the race for the presidency, I am noticing that fewer and fewer of my friends are paying attention. Last year, this was all we seemed to talk about. Now, it’s like pulling teeth to get those same young people, who are just about to vote for the first or second time, to pay any attention at all. They say they got exhausted by the fussing and fighting and are uninspired to continue to watch things play out. I am horrified. If people get apathetic already, what will happen come November? -- Prepare To Vote

DEAR PREPARE TO VOTE: It is true that there has been a lot of discussion about the upcoming election, especially for people who have been paying attention. It is possible to get fatigued by the negative aspects of the race, but you are right to acknowledge that if people do not stay engaged, we will not be fulfilling our duty in a democracy -- to make our voices heard by casting our vote. I believe that as the primaries continue to occur across the country, people will regain interest in what’s going on.

You can help stir your friends’ interest by pointing out what the election results are and what’s going on in the White House, and asking them to chime in with their views. People typically like to talk about what they think. If you inquire directly as to where they stand on the election cycle, you are likely to reignite some interest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am traveling during the summer to attend a friend’s wedding. I am very excited about being invited, and I’m getting everything together so that I can go. It’s pretty expensive to make it happen, what with the airplane ticket, hotel, rental car and meals that aren’t covered by the wedding. Considering how much I am spending just to get there, can you tell me if I am expected to give the couple a gift as well? I don’t want to be rude, but I am already way beyond my budget. -- Cost of a Wedding

DEAR COST OF A WEDDING: This is the dilemma for many who make the trek to witness a couple’s nuptials. Weddings are expensive for everyone, especially the couple getting married. I would like to recommend that you give the couple something as a gift, even if the cost of it is nominal. Take a look at their wedding registry. Most couples keep in mind that their guests have different price points. Wise couples include practical and affordable home items on their lists as well as a few splurge items. When your budget is tight, it is wise to go to their list so that your gift can be of specific value to them.

Another gift that many couples appreciate that can come at a later date is an invitation delivered in a card for a home-cooked meal by you after they settle into married life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)