DEAR HARRIETTE: I took my aunt to a Broadway play for her birthday. It was a big treat for her, and we were so excited. As we sat, ready to watch the performance, we noticed the people in front of us because they were very loud. They ended up talking throughout the performance, rustling food packages and otherwise being rude. It was unbelievable. It took a lot for me to save up to take my aunt to this play. The tickets are not cheap. Why in the world would somebody pay all that money and then not pay attention? It was annoying and embarrassing. During intermission, my very proper auntie spoke to one of them and asked them to be quiet when the show started back up. That actually did help to settle them a bit, but I wonder if there’s anything else that can be done in a situation like that. -- Rude Theatergoers

DEAR RUDE THEATERGOERS: There is an etiquette to attending the theater, namely that you should be still and quiet during the performance. This unwritten rule is suspended when the audience is encouraged to participate in singing or dancing by the actors, and at the curtain call when you are welcome to stand up and cheer. Otherwise, you are supposed to be quiet and attentive.

Because food and drink are served at Broadway performances now, the rustling of packaged food can provide a distraction. It’s best to open those packages before the performance begins.

In a case like yours, it sometimes works to shush the person next to you or ask them to settle down. But that’s the role of the usher. Just as they come to tell people not to take pictures, when someone is disruptive, they should jump in and invite them to be quiet or leave.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to go to an important dinner meeting with my company. I want to make a good impression, and I’m a bit worried. I have a lot of food allergies, so dining out is somewhat problematic for me. The last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself because of my food limitations. How can I handle this in the most discreet way? -- Food Allergies

DEAR FOOD ALLERGIES: You might consider printing up a business card-sized list of your food allergies. You can give that to the waiter discreetly before the meal begins and ask him or her to speak to you privately about food choices rather than engaging the whole group. You can call the restaurant in advance and give them a heads-up that you have dietary restrictions. You can figure out what you can eat in advance and preorder it. You may also want to alert your manager and make it clear that you have it covered so there is no worry.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have listened to friends tell me how they have given up different things for religious reasons -- especially for Lent -- for 40 days. Though I am not Christian, I like the notion of devoting a specific period of time to a discipline that takes something away. I think it could be helpful for me. I struggle with all kinds of things, from weight gain to clutter. I bet if I committed to giving up sweets or throwing things away every day for 40 days, I would see some positive results. Do you think it’s OK to adopt this practice even though I’m not following my friends’ religious tradition? -- Sacrifice

DEAR SACRIFICE: In a word, YES! By all means, adopt a practice from the Christian tradition to help guide your steps. The practice of surrendering your will for the betterment of your body, mind and spirit is powerful. To sacrifice things you care about, especially those that don’t serve you, for an extended period of time can lead to you making smarter choices for your life. It’s all about discipline, focus, commitment and the belief that you deserve to live a better life. Often, in order to get to that better life, you have to give up behaviors, things and sometimes people that no longer benefit you. Embrace this tradition, and see how it transforms your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never really been afraid in my neighborhood before, but several homes within a few blocks of me have been burglarized in the past few months, and no one has been caught yet. Now we are all nervous. I’ve been locking my house every night -- something no one ever used to do. But I’m thinking I should go one step further and install a security system. I am a single mother with a young child. I feel like I need to do something to feel safer, and I cannot move at this time. Do you think I’m being extreme? I can’t really afford to do this, but I think I should find a way. -- Time for Security

DEAR TIME FOR SECURITY: As times change and conditions in your neighborhood shift, you should evaluate how best to protect yourself and your child. Of course it is disconcerting to know that homes in your neighborhood have been burglarized without resolution. It is smart to consider ways to safeguard your home. A security system is wise, and there are many affordable ones on the market.

You might also want to talk to your neighbors about starting a neighborhood watch. There is tremendous value in having one another’s backs. If you and those who live near you can come up with a plan to patrol your community, that can mean a lot for the safety of the whole. You may also consider hiring a security service as a group. Finally, you should meet with your local police department to learn how they can support you more directly during this trying time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I know that people die all the time in life, but I feel like too many people I am connected to personally are dying right now. From little kids to former colleagues to a neighbor to a friend’s elderly father, it feels like everybody is dying. I’m scared to answer the phone these days because I’m afraid that it will be one more of those awful calls. It’s overwhelming. I am so worried that someone else I love is next. How can I manage these anxious feelings that I have? I know I can’t control who lives or dies, but I need to get a handle on how I am dealing with it all. -- Staring Down Death

DEAR STARING DOWN DEATH: First, I want to acknowledge the weight of your losses. It can be extremely difficult to know that many people you love have left the world. Since this is wearing on your spirit, you may want to seek grief counseling to help you process it. There is no shame in getting support as you work through this.

Beyond professional counseling, you can also make conscious choices to engage in activities that stimulate you and bring you joy. Exercise is a way to encourage good feelings and promote good health. Participating in events with friends who are uplifting is wise. Reading an engaging and positive book can help. Write down aphorisms and post them in your home in strategic places. When you are feeling down, you can turn to one of them to brighten your day.

In quiet moments, you can also think about each of the people you have lost and offer prayers and blessings to them. Remember the good things about them and what they contributed to you and the world. Claim the positive. This can help you release them in an uplifting way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that my niece is having a baby. She is my second niece to decide to have a baby without being married. I guess I am old-fashioned, but I really do think it is going to be hard on her without the proper support. The family will rally, but I’ve already seen with my other niece that such support goes only so far, especially in a family that doesn’t have much money.

I want to recommend that my niece give the baby up for adoption. I think it will be better off in a loving home where there are resources to take care of the child. My family thinks I’m crazy to make such a suggestion. When I do the math, I don’t see another way. Should I do the breakdown on paper to show my niece what I mean, or should I leave it alone? -- Encouraging Adoption

DEAR ENCOURAGING ADOPTION: Tread carefully. Unless your niece asks you directly what you think she should do, you should keep your thoughts to yourself. If the opportunity presents itself, you can talk to her about the future. You can recommend that she list specific ways she intends to align with her ideas. She stands a chance of being successful if she has a plan. Encourage proactivity in her life. Be there to bolster that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)