DEAR HARRIETTE: I know that people die all the time in life, but I feel like too many people I am connected to personally are dying right now. From little kids to former colleagues to a neighbor to a friend’s elderly father, it feels like everybody is dying. I’m scared to answer the phone these days because I’m afraid that it will be one more of those awful calls. It’s overwhelming. I am so worried that someone else I love is next. How can I manage these anxious feelings that I have? I know I can’t control who lives or dies, but I need to get a handle on how I am dealing with it all. -- Staring Down Death

DEAR STARING DOWN DEATH: First, I want to acknowledge the weight of your losses. It can be extremely difficult to know that many people you love have left the world. Since this is wearing on your spirit, you may want to seek grief counseling to help you process it. There is no shame in getting support as you work through this.

Beyond professional counseling, you can also make conscious choices to engage in activities that stimulate you and bring you joy. Exercise is a way to encourage good feelings and promote good health. Participating in events with friends who are uplifting is wise. Reading an engaging and positive book can help. Write down aphorisms and post them in your home in strategic places. When you are feeling down, you can turn to one of them to brighten your day.

In quiet moments, you can also think about each of the people you have lost and offer prayers and blessings to them. Remember the good things about them and what they contributed to you and the world. Claim the positive. This can help you release them in an uplifting way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that my niece is having a baby. She is my second niece to decide to have a baby without being married. I guess I am old-fashioned, but I really do think it is going to be hard on her without the proper support. The family will rally, but I’ve already seen with my other niece that such support goes only so far, especially in a family that doesn’t have much money.

I want to recommend that my niece give the baby up for adoption. I think it will be better off in a loving home where there are resources to take care of the child. My family thinks I’m crazy to make such a suggestion. When I do the math, I don’t see another way. Should I do the breakdown on paper to show my niece what I mean, or should I leave it alone? -- Encouraging Adoption

DEAR ENCOURAGING ADOPTION: Tread carefully. Unless your niece asks you directly what you think she should do, you should keep your thoughts to yourself. If the opportunity presents itself, you can talk to her about the future. You can recommend that she list specific ways she intends to align with her ideas. She stands a chance of being successful if she has a plan. Encourage proactivity in her life. Be there to bolster that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: There’s a pretty large age gap between my sister and me. When my mom had me, my sister was 16 years old. I have been told that when I was a baby, my sister would take care of me like I was her own. But when I turned 4, my sister joined the Air Force. A couple of years later, she got married and had children of her own. I am so happy for her. She has it all: an amazing husband, beautiful kids and a great-paying job. I understand she has a life of her own. However, lately, speaking to her is like speaking to a stranger. She and I are polar opposites. I feel that I don’t have as close a bond with her as she has for other people. My sister makes time for her friends (when she is not watching the kids), but we never seem to do anything together. I miss having this bond with my sister, and I worry that she doesn’t love me. Is there any way I can build our bond again? -- Distant Sister

DEAR DISTANT SISTER: It is natural that you and your sister are not as close as you might like. She left home when you were a toddler and built a life of her own that has been full-on with work, children and family. Rather than bemoaning your status with her, speak up. Tell your sister that you miss her and want to build a closer relationship with her.

Suggest a few options that include visiting her at home with the family. That way you can get to know her children better, too. Invite her to go out with you from time to time. Make it clear that you want to get to know her better. Be direct with her. She is so busy with her life that it’s likely she doesn’t realize how left out you feel. I’m sure she loves you. Don’t give up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who comes from a strict Christian background. We are not that close, but we consider each other friends.

Becoming so enthralled with the faith from such a young age has disillusioned both of us to the prospects of attending mass every Sunday. It has become akin to a chore, like washing the dishes. It is something we do to appease our parents, but in the end, we derive no pleasure from it. My parents do not pay much attention to me missing a mass once in a while; however, my friend is forced against his will and is losing interest. His parents are extremely overbearing and constantly nag him whenever he does not do as they order him to. He has been visibly depressed lately, and I am afraid to approach him since he is constantly pushing me away. What should I do? -- Concerned Friend

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: You really cannot get between your friend and his parents. What you can do is be supportive. Tell your friend that you understand how difficult it is for him. If he doesn’t want to talk, text him. Don’t be pushy. Just say that you are thinking about him. Invite him to hang out in whatever way his parents allow. If his parents allow it, you may be able to be the friend who helps him to feel some sense of freedom.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I used to be very close until she moved back home to take care of her ailing mother (who has since died). Honestly, she seems stuck. She is of retirement age, though she still needs to work, so she does odd jobs here and there.

Whenever I talk to my friend, I hear the same things over and over. She lives in the past. I want to be there for her, but I am so exhausted by hearing the same old stories. What’s worse is that she doesn’t listen well. So if I attempt to tell her about my day or tell her a story about something that happened, she listens for places to insert her old stories and jumps in without letting me complete a thought. It is annoying. Part of me wants to distance myself. Another part says I should tell her she’s bothering me rather than abandon her. I’m one of the only people she talks to. What do you recommend? -- Clingy Friend

DEAR CLINGY FRIEND: The compassionate choice would be to have a heart-to-heart talk with her, preferably in person. Express your gratitude for reconnecting with her now that she is back home. Tell her you know how hard it has been for her to reacclimate, especially after her mother’s passing. Note that you enjoy talking to her, but that recently it has gotten hard. Then tell her why: She doesn’t listen well, so it doesn’t feel good when you are having a conversation, and she interrupts you all the time to insert her thoughts. Ask her to try to participate when talking to you rather than taking over the conversation. Ultimately, you may also have to limit your chats with her, but at least telling her this may help her to make an effort to listen more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker borrowed $1,000 from me last year because she was in a bind. When I loaned it to her, we made a clear agreement that she would pay me back with monthly payments of $100 until it is paid off. For the first couple of months, she honored that agreement, but for the past three months, she has given me nothing. When I have brought it up, she shrugs and says she doesn’t have it. But I see her going out for lunch and spending money on other things. I feel used. Can I tell my boss about this? What should I do? -- Repay a Loan

DEAR REPAY A LOAN: This was a deal between you and your co-worker, not your boss. Leave the boss out of it. But make it clear to your co-worker that you do not appreciate your trust being broken. Tell her that you loaned that money out of the goodness of your heart. Point out that you are not made of money. You can threaten to tell human resources, though you shouldn’t do it. The threat may get your co-worker to pay up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)