DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend I have known for ages. I considered her to be family. There was an incident, however, that changed it all. One day, my friend and I went to a convenience store to pick up a few things. I asked her if she wanted anything -- even told her that I would pay -- but she declined. So I purchased my items and left the store.

When we were a block away from the store, she pulled out several candy bars. I was shocked. I asked her if she had purchased them, and she said, “I stole them.” I told her to go back and return the candy, but she wouldn’t listen to me. She’s done it numerous times since. I was, and still am, disgusted by her actions.

My biggest problem is that my other friends do not know her bad habits. I want to tell them because I do not trust going anywhere with her after she pulled that stunt, but I worry that they would think I am snitching on her. She is my good friend, but I have a lingering fear of what kind of trouble she could face if she gets caught. Do my other friends have a right to know? -- Speechless

DEAR SPEECHLESS: Arrange a face-to-face meeting with your friend. Tell her you don’t trust her anymore. Ask her why she steals. Tell her you are concerned that she will steal again while with you or with mutual friends, and that that is unacceptable. Point out that you can be considered an accessory if she is caught while you are together. Suggest that she get help to deal with her desire to steal. Tell her you think your mutual friends need to know and that you plan to tell them unless she would like to speak to them first. Give her the courtesy of letting her know your plans.

Let your friends know what happened, that you have told her of your intention to talk to them and of your desire to support her as she works through this problem. You may want to avoid going to places where she might steal if you continue to distrust her. For more ideas on handling this difficult situation, visit adv4life.com/article/what-to-do-if-your-friend-shoplifts.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just started liking a boy who likes her back. They have talked on the phone a few times, but recently I learned that one of her best friends has started dating this boy. From what I can gather, this friend started moving in on him after she learned that he and my daughter were talking. How awful. I feel so bad for my daughter, but I’m not sure what to do. I feel like she has to work through this on her own, but as her mother, I hate to see her hurting. SOS! -- Betrayed Daughter

DEAR BETRAYED DAUGHTER: Be a sounding board for your daughter. Give advice only if she asks for it. There is no simple solution. She can confront her friend. She can see how it plays out with the boy -- see who he chooses. When she is ready to talk about it, you can point out that she should be mindful of any friend who would intentionally try to steal a “boyfriend” from her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked with one company for several years on a freelance basis. I recently completed my last job with them, as I took another job. I thought we parted on good terms, but I question it now because I have not received my last check.

In the past, the company always paid on time. In fact, it was one of my only clients to be consistent with pay. Now that I am no longer working for the company, it has missed a pay period. I am kind of freaked out. How should I handle this? I don’t want to burn any bridges, and I definitely need the money I am owed. What should I do? -- One More Check

DEAR ONE MORE CHECK: Stay positive and assume that the company made a mistake in payroll. Contact the person who handles payment and -- pleasantly -- ask about the status of your compensation. Ask if you need to resubmit the paperwork and when you can expect to receive payment. If you do not hear back, or if the response is unsatisfactory, reach out to your direct contact to ask for support in getting your invoice paid. Continue to be pleasant, assuming the positive unless and until you receive communication that suggests that the company does not intend to pay your invoice. In that case, you may need to ask an attorney to intervene.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been worried for a long time. As a college student, you are required to know what you want to do. I have an idea of what I want, but it’s not set in stone. I love to draw and write. I have created big projects for myself and shared them with others. My dream is to one day show my work to the world, but that dream is a hit-or-miss proposition. I need to think realistically, since some make it big, while others don’t. I am currently aiming to go to law school and become a lawyer, but I have been having second thoughts.

Lately, I have been looking into fine arts schools so that I can focus on what I like and improve my writing and art. However, I don’t want my family to think that my dreams are useless and a waste of a college education. I am worried that I am not following my dreams, but following other people’s expectations. It feels like where I am at is just a big waste of time. I am at a crossroads, and I don’t know what to do. I am almost a junior, and I am all over the place. What should I do? -- Scared for the Future

DEAR SCARED FOR THE FUTURE: You cannot live anyone else’s life. You have to live your own. If you do not want to be an attorney, don’t go that route. It’s way too time-consuming and expensive to pursue -- unless you are committed to it. If your love is the arts, start doing some serious research to determine what types of jobs exist in your areas of interest. Then find an educational program that will teach you how to do that. You may be able to have a job in the arts as you also develop your creative talents for a fine arts career. Figure out what is possible, and go for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who took months to pay me for a job I did. Eventually, she sent me the payment in two checks. After I received them, she called me frantically, telling me to deposit the first half immediately to ensure that it got paid; she asked me to hold off on depositing the second check. Later that day, she sent me an urgent text saying that I needed to deposit the money that very day.

Naturally, I wanted to get those checks in my bank account right away, but the experience was extremely distressing. Her frantic notes came at the end of the business day, when I could not get to my credit union to make a deposit in time. She made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Meanwhile, she is the one who took months to pay me. I get that she is a small business, but I had no idea that it would be this difficult just to get paid.

She just called me like nothing happened and asked me to work with her again. I am reluctant to agree, given how awful this experience was. A friend pointed out to me that she did pay. Should I work with her again? How can I make it a better experience if I do? -- Restart

DEAR RESTART: What is evident is that this client is struggling financially. It also seems that she wants to do right by her vendors. Yes, it took a long time for you to be paid, but yes, she paid you in full. Sadly, there are plenty of businesses large and small that do not honor their commitments as they hire vendors to fulfill services.

You have to evaluate your needs versus your tolerance for the frenetic way in which this client works. If you can afford to walk away from her and fulfill your bottom line with more reliable clients, by all means do not accept any more work from her. If you need this client, talk to her about how you might manage your expectations better. Ask her upfront how long she thinks it will take to pay for the job you are about to do. And then take a page out of her book and cash her check immediately when you receive it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who wrote me a rather caustic note several years ago. It turned out to be a premonition of sorts. She said that if I did not change my habits, I would end up sick and in need of support at the very time that my son was about to become an adult. She warned that I would be robbing my son of his independence if I didn’t get my act together. I was so mad at her.

Well, here we are about 10 years later, and my health issues have started to interfere in my life. I fear that my friend was right with her warning, which I did not heed. I feel like I should apologize to her and scramble to see what I can do to avoid being a burden to my son in the near future. -- Facing a Premonition

DEAR FACING A PREMONITION: Right now you need to focus on your health. Go to the doctor. Create a manageable plan to get your health back on track. Rather than admitting your missteps to your friend, be in touch with her when you are on your way to better health practices. Claim the positive, and go for it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)