life

Freelancer Concerned About Missing Check

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 5th, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked with one company for several years on a freelance basis. I recently completed my last job with them, as I took another job. I thought we parted on good terms, but I question it now because I have not received my last check.

In the past, the company always paid on time. In fact, it was one of my only clients to be consistent with pay. Now that I am no longer working for the company, it has missed a pay period. I am kind of freaked out. How should I handle this? I don’t want to burn any bridges, and I definitely need the money I am owed. What should I do? -- One More Check

DEAR ONE MORE CHECK: Stay positive and assume that the company made a mistake in payroll. Contact the person who handles payment and -- pleasantly -- ask about the status of your compensation. Ask if you need to resubmit the paperwork and when you can expect to receive payment. If you do not hear back, or if the response is unsatisfactory, reach out to your direct contact to ask for support in getting your invoice paid. Continue to be pleasant, assuming the positive unless and until you receive communication that suggests that the company does not intend to pay your invoice. In that case, you may need to ask an attorney to intervene.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for March 05, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 5th, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been worried for a long time. As a college student, you are required to know what you want to do. I have an idea of what I want, but it’s not set in stone. I love to draw and write. I have created big projects for myself and shared them with others. My dream is to one day show my work to the world, but that dream is a hit-or-miss proposition. I need to think realistically, since some make it big, while others don’t. I am currently aiming to go to law school and become a lawyer, but I have been having second thoughts.

Lately, I have been looking into fine arts schools so that I can focus on what I like and improve my writing and art. However, I don’t want my family to think that my dreams are useless and a waste of a college education. I am worried that I am not following my dreams, but following other people’s expectations. It feels like where I am at is just a big waste of time. I am at a crossroads, and I don’t know what to do. I am almost a junior, and I am all over the place. What should I do? -- Scared for the Future

DEAR SCARED FOR THE FUTURE: You cannot live anyone else’s life. You have to live your own. If you do not want to be an attorney, don’t go that route. It’s way too time-consuming and expensive to pursue -- unless you are committed to it. If your love is the arts, start doing some serious research to determine what types of jobs exist in your areas of interest. Then find an educational program that will teach you how to do that. You may be able to have a job in the arts as you also develop your creative talents for a fine arts career. Figure out what is possible, and go for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Client’s Frantic Behavior Stresses Out Reader

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 4th, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who took months to pay me for a job I did. Eventually, she sent me the payment in two checks. After I received them, she called me frantically, telling me to deposit the first half immediately to ensure that it got paid; she asked me to hold off on depositing the second check. Later that day, she sent me an urgent text saying that I needed to deposit the money that very day.

Naturally, I wanted to get those checks in my bank account right away, but the experience was extremely distressing. Her frantic notes came at the end of the business day, when I could not get to my credit union to make a deposit in time. She made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Meanwhile, she is the one who took months to pay me. I get that she is a small business, but I had no idea that it would be this difficult just to get paid.

She just called me like nothing happened and asked me to work with her again. I am reluctant to agree, given how awful this experience was. A friend pointed out to me that she did pay. Should I work with her again? How can I make it a better experience if I do? -- Restart

DEAR RESTART: What is evident is that this client is struggling financially. It also seems that she wants to do right by her vendors. Yes, it took a long time for you to be paid, but yes, she paid you in full. Sadly, there are plenty of businesses large and small that do not honor their commitments as they hire vendors to fulfill services.

You have to evaluate your needs versus your tolerance for the frenetic way in which this client works. If you can afford to walk away from her and fulfill your bottom line with more reliable clients, by all means do not accept any more work from her. If you need this client, talk to her about how you might manage your expectations better. Ask her upfront how long she thinks it will take to pay for the job you are about to do. And then take a page out of her book and cash her check immediately when you receive it.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for March 04, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 4th, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who wrote me a rather caustic note several years ago. It turned out to be a premonition of sorts. She said that if I did not change my habits, I would end up sick and in need of support at the very time that my son was about to become an adult. She warned that I would be robbing my son of his independence if I didn’t get my act together. I was so mad at her.

Well, here we are about 10 years later, and my health issues have started to interfere in my life. I fear that my friend was right with her warning, which I did not heed. I feel like I should apologize to her and scramble to see what I can do to avoid being a burden to my son in the near future. -- Facing a Premonition

DEAR FACING A PREMONITION: Right now you need to focus on your health. Go to the doctor. Create a manageable plan to get your health back on track. Rather than admitting your missteps to your friend, be in touch with her when you are on your way to better health practices. Claim the positive, and go for it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Reader Considers Wasting Away Like Great-Aunt

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 3rd, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a great-aunt who took her own life when she reached retirement age. She was a domestic worker for her whole life, and when she couldn’t work anymore, she lived with my grandmother and felt like a burden.

One day, she sat on a sofa and told the family that she wasn’t going to eat anymore; she never ate another morsel of food. She died some months later. Her rationale was that she didn’t want to be a burden on the family.

I feel like I am in the same boat. I have not worked for several years. I have exhausted my savings; I lost my home and have no prospects of earning income. My family has offered to take me in, but I would hate to be a burden on them. Do you think I should just stop eating like my great-aunt? It seems like a slow death, but at least I would not be stealing food off my family’s table. -- Way to Go

DEAR WAY TO GO: Your great-aunt’s demise is tragic, even if it represents her taking control of her life. I pray that you will not make that choice. Instead, if you truly have no assets, you can look to the government for support. While this may be an arduous, unpleasant process, you may be able to find government housing for seniors that will take you in during this tender period in your life.

Don’t give up. Do your research to find help so that your family does not have to carry your weight and so that you can stay alive and vital. For more details, go to eldercaredirectory.org/state-resources.htm.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for March 03, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 3rd, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My college student daughter came home with a ring in her nose. I am dumbfounded. I don’t mean to be a prude, but why would she do such a thing? She says she wants to work in the financial sector, meaning Wall Street or someplace like that. While other business areas may be more flexible, my understanding of the financial world is that it is still very conservative. I can’t imagine that a nose ring will be positive for her on job interviews.

I don’t want to be the mom who is always telling my child what to do, but I can’t imagine what was in her head. How can I get her to wake up and pay closer attention to the career choice she has made for herself? I don’t want her to fail before she gets started. -- Nose Ring Vs. Career

DEAR NOSE RING VS. CAREER: It is still your role to guide your daughter. Organize a face-to-face meeting with her where you agree to have a candid conversation. Ask your daughter why she got a nose ring. Bite your tongue, and let her explain. Ask her what she thinks the repercussions might be in her field of interest. Listen for her response.

Tell her what you know about the financial services world. Point out that as codes of conduct and style of dress are softening in many business arenas, to your knowledge, they are still pretty conservative in finance. Ask her if she has thought about whether the way she presents herself could affect the way that she is received in her field of interest.

Suggest that she reconsider the nose ring. Worst case scenario, suggest that she hide it or remove it for job interviews.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Last Word in Astrology for June 04, 2023
  • Last Word in Astrology for June 03, 2023
  • Last Word in Astrology for June 02, 2023
  • Daughter Keeps House Too Dark for Mom's Comfort
  • Adult Child Is Asked to Convey Angry Messages Between Divorcing Parents
  • Prankster's Humor Doesn't Impress New Girlfriend
  • My Know-it-All Buddy is Ruining Our Friendship
  • My Fear of Feeling Irrelevant is Real, and Gosh, It Is Painful
  • My Old College Roommate’s Back, Negative Energy and All. Help!
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal