DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a great-aunt who took her own life when she reached retirement age. She was a domestic worker for her whole life, and when she couldn’t work anymore, she lived with my grandmother and felt like a burden.

One day, she sat on a sofa and told the family that she wasn’t going to eat anymore; she never ate another morsel of food. She died some months later. Her rationale was that she didn’t want to be a burden on the family.

I feel like I am in the same boat. I have not worked for several years. I have exhausted my savings; I lost my home and have no prospects of earning income. My family has offered to take me in, but I would hate to be a burden on them. Do you think I should just stop eating like my great-aunt? It seems like a slow death, but at least I would not be stealing food off my family’s table. -- Way to Go

DEAR WAY TO GO: Your great-aunt’s demise is tragic, even if it represents her taking control of her life. I pray that you will not make that choice. Instead, if you truly have no assets, you can look to the government for support. While this may be an arduous, unpleasant process, you may be able to find government housing for seniors that will take you in during this tender period in your life.

Don’t give up. Do your research to find help so that your family does not have to carry your weight and so that you can stay alive and vital. For more details, go to eldercaredirectory.org/state-resources.htm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My college student daughter came home with a ring in her nose. I am dumbfounded. I don’t mean to be a prude, but why would she do such a thing? She says she wants to work in the financial sector, meaning Wall Street or someplace like that. While other business areas may be more flexible, my understanding of the financial world is that it is still very conservative. I can’t imagine that a nose ring will be positive for her on job interviews.

I don’t want to be the mom who is always telling my child what to do, but I can’t imagine what was in her head. How can I get her to wake up and pay closer attention to the career choice she has made for herself? I don’t want her to fail before she gets started. -- Nose Ring Vs. Career

DEAR NOSE RING VS. CAREER: It is still your role to guide your daughter. Organize a face-to-face meeting with her where you agree to have a candid conversation. Ask your daughter why she got a nose ring. Bite your tongue, and let her explain. Ask her what she thinks the repercussions might be in her field of interest. Listen for her response.

Tell her what you know about the financial services world. Point out that as codes of conduct and style of dress are softening in many business arenas, to your knowledge, they are still pretty conservative in finance. Ask her if she has thought about whether the way she presents herself could affect the way that she is received in her field of interest.

Suggest that she reconsider the nose ring. Worst case scenario, suggest that she hide it or remove it for job interviews.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has told me he is depressed. He has a therapist and seems to be working through his issues, but I worry about him. With so many stories of suicide these days, I don’t want to be the friend who didn’t notice the warning signs. He does still talk to me, and he says that he is seeking help. He broke up with his girlfriend about a year ago, and he hasn’t been right since. I want to be the best friend that I can to him during this time. What do you recommend? -- Fighting Depression

DEAR FIGHTING DEPRESSION: Continue to stay in close communication with your friend. Be a good listener. Notice if his conversation changes in a way that might indicate a pivot toward self-harm. If so, ask him if he is following his therapist’s directions and if he needs more support.

Otherwise, without casting any judgment, keep him engaged. Let him know how much you care about him, avoid offering your evaluation of his situation and remind him that you want the best for him. If he asks you for advice or guidance that you do not have the capability to give, tell him as much. Remind him that you are not a therapist. You are a friend.

Also, take care of yourself. Make sure that you do not get so immersed in your friend’s troubles that you forget to watch out for your mental, spiritual and physical health. Do not allow this friend to absorb all of your time. For more ideas, go to healthline.com/health/how-to-help-a-depressed-friend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is elderly, so my siblings and I tend not to tell her all of our troubles anymore. She gets to worrying, and it’s not good.

I’m supposed to have a routine medical procedure soon, and I’m a little nervous about it. Normally I would tell my mother, but I feel like I should keep it to myself. How do you think I should handle this? -- Protecting Mom

DEAR PROTECTING MOM: You are smart not to share all of the details of your medical challenges with your mother. Just as when you were little and you told your mother about a problem and she worried for days or weeks after you had gotten over it, so it is when your mother is older.

Instead, make sure that your siblings are informed about your health status and whatever you are undergoing. Have them monitor the situation so that if there is an emergency, they will be able to loop in your mother and address any serious concerns that come up.

At the same time, do not lie to your mother. It is better to speak in generalities with her so that she has a sense of what’s happening in your life. In this way, a medical issue does not have to be a total shock to her system. But you do not need to inform her of every test or procedure that you have.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a week ago, I invited a friend of mine to hang out with me. We planned the day out and everything. Then, completely last-minute, my friend canceled on me. At that point, I don’t know what became of me; I exploded. I was so angry for no apparent reason and said some nasty stuff to my friend. I realized my mistake and apologized immediately. Luckily, we are still good friends, but I don’t know why I would get so angry over nothing. I am scared that I might not be able to control my anger in the future. What can I do so that I won’t explode again? -- Super Angry

DEAR SUPER ANGRY: Before you beat yourself up, take a moment to review what happened. You and your friend planned a day together. It’s not like you planned something and forced it on the person. What was your friend’s reason for canceling? Did it sound valid to you? Or do you feel that your friend blew you off?

Clearly you were looking forward to getting together with this person. It hurt your feelings that your special day was dashed. Perhaps it was extreme to go off on your friend, but it sounds like it is not without some cause. You were disappointed.

Yes, it is good to control your emotions, but I wouldn’t be so fast to convince yourself that you got angry “for nothing.” Being dumped for the day is something. Acknowledge that and accept that it is natural for you to be disappointed, if not also upset. In the future, you can decide not to retaliate in the moment with venomous words. But it is OK to let a person know that you don’t appreciate the change in plans at the last minute, especially if the reason doesn’t seem legitimate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends may be into me, and I don’t know what to do. I have been friends with him for over a year, and we are pretty close. We have a lot in common, and whenever you see us, chances are, we are dying laughing in a corner. He is a great friend. He always offers to pay whenever we go out. He is the person I go to whenever I have a problem. He is my best friend, and I want it to stay that way. However, lately he acts a bit too close. I don’t want to ruin the friendship that we have. What do I do to tell my friend that we should stay friends? -- Friend Zoned

DEAR FRIEND ZONED: I think you should step out of your comfort zone and see what happens if you let your guard down. You can tell your friend how much you appreciate him and want to ensure that your friendship endures. You can admit that you are skittish about going to the next level because you don’t want to risk the bond that you treasure. Talk to him about your trepidation. See where his mind is. You may want to agree to see what happens if you date. He could turn out to be your best friend AND soulmate. Isn’t that worth a try?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)