life

Reader Stuck in the Middle of Friends

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 26th, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two amazing friends. They both are cool, funny and understanding. However, one of them does not like the other. My friend, friend No. 1, does not like friend No. 2. So whenever I talk to or hang out with friend No. 2, I am unable to tell friend No. 1 because I know it will upset her. I love friend No. 1 to pieces; she is basically a sister to me. I tell her everything, but when it comes to friend No. 2, I can’t let her know when we hang out. Friend No. 1 once told me if I ever spoke to friend No. 2 again, she would never talk to me.

Friend No. 1 talks badly about friend No. 2, and I don’t like hearing all the negative things she says about her. I want to tell friend No. 1 that I still hang out with friend No. 2 and we should all just put this aside. Should I tell her? -- Stuck in the Middle

DEAR STUCK IN THE MIDDLE: This is a tough situation that is not uncommon. The issue is how should you handle this. My vote is to make it clear to both friends that you will remain friends with each of them. While you are willing to keep your friendships separate, you are uncomfortable with the ways in which they talk about each other.

You may want to give each friend one more chance to explain why they do not like the other person. Listen carefully to see if you believe that any of their complaints are valid. If so, you can bring up those points to the person in question. After considering your friends’ positions, if you decide to remain friends with both of them, make that crystal-clear to all, and let them know that you are unwilling to continue to listen to them spouting negativity about the other. If you lose a friend in the process, so be it. But you should not have to endure vitriol about people you love. Stand your ground.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for February 26, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 26th, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a passion for writing. I love to create short stories and share them with others.

Whenever I write, it takes me into a whole new world. It is a way to delve into my creativity. Sometimes I go back to my stories and swap my old ideas for something new or better. However, lately I feel like everything I write is awful. I have this sense that people are lying to me whenever I ask if my stories are OK. A majority of the stuff I write is a bit out of the norm.

I want to be able to write something different than every other writer, but I keep finding my stories generic, boring and unoriginal. I have run out of ideas and been left with writer’s block. My dream is to publish my short stories, but I want to know how to better my writing and gain more confidence. Any suggestions? -- Writer’s Block

DEAR WRITER’S BLOCK: Join a writing workshop where you and the other writers share your work and critique one another with the intention of refining your work. Take a short story writing class at your local community college. Find a professional environment where you can strengthen your skills and gain the confidence you desire.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Tired Reader Should Find Root of Sleeplessness

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 25th, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love to sleep. The feeling of comfort after a long day, in my bed, really helps ease my tension. Lately, I have been having difficulty going to sleep and staying asleep. I have tried many natural remedies to try to calm down, but none has worked. My sleep complications don’t happen frequently, but there are days when they do occur. I have been trying to find the root cause of my situation, and I am not sure if I should see a specialist or handle it on my own. Any ideas? -- Sleepless

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Review your daily activities over the next week. Write down what you do, what you eat and drink and how you spend your time. Notice which days you sleep better than others and what happened on those days and evenings. Do you see a pattern that might indicate if your thoughts, mood or actions affect your sleep? If you notice something, adjust that behavior and determine if you are able to change your sleeping through certain modifications.

Turning off the television well before you go to bed, avoiding caffeine and alcohol near bedtime and thinking positive thoughts all help with sound sleep.

If you are not able to identify ways to improve your sleep on your own, schedule an appointment with your doctor. Bring your analysis with you. This will help your doctor to determine what’s happening for you and how to address it.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for February 25, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 25th, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have four nieces and one nephew. In my eyes, they are my babies, and I can’t bear the idea of them growing up. Recently, my older sister was stationed in Seoul, South Korea, since she works in the Air Force. Now that my family is over a thousand miles across the world, I am worried that the kids will forget me. I love them so much, and I am worried that I am losing touch with them. It has been a few months since they moved to Seoul, and I miss them dearly. I do not want to lose our connection as a family. What can I do to strengthen our bonds even though we are miles apart? -- Forgotten Family

DEAR FORGOTTEN FAMILY: Do not despair. The great news is that you can use modern technology to stay in close touch with your family. You will need to set this up with your sister -- unless the children are old enough to do it themselves. You can use WhatsApp to talk to one another for free. You can see each other using the video feature or just talk through the phone feature. You can leave each other voice messages if it’s tough to talk directly due to the time differences.

You may want to establish a set time each week when you talk to the family. Since you have to coordinate your schedules to deal with the time difference, set it up with your sister, and be vigilant about touching base -- even if your engagement is for only a few minutes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Husband Spills the Beans About Reader’s Health

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 24th, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently hospitalized due to a health scare. I am now working with my doctor to figure out what’s going on. I’m on top of it, but I really want to keep my health status private.

I am a freelancer of a certain age, and I don’t need anybody questioning my abilities due to what I hope will be a momentary health challenge. I have chosen not to tell anybody outside my closest confidants, so I was shocked when I got a text from a distant friend offering me prayers for my health because she had heard I was unwell. While I appreciate her sentiments, I was surprised that she even knew. I talk to her a couple of times a year.

I later found out that my husband told a colleague who immediately told this woman. While it was nice to hear from her, I am not happy. My husband knows how private I am. Yet he said something anyway. I know I can’t put the genie back in the bottle, but how can I manage what is sure to be a buzz about my health? -- Not Your Business

DEAR NOT YOUR BUSINESS: Chances are, your husband didn’t mean to spill the beans. He is concerned about you, and since you were at the top of mind, his thoughts spilled out. Don’t beat him up too badly. Instead, remind him of the importance of keeping your health issues private for personal and professional reasons.

As for the person who reached out, it sounds like she hit the right note, in that she offered you blessings and did not ask you about health details. If others reach out to you, you can respond with gratitude for their good wishes and with assurances that you are OK.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for February 24, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 24th, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: It has been a few weeks since I have started the new semester. Many of the classes I have chosen have been challenging but satisfying due to the amazing professors I have.

However, I have one professor who does not seem to put an effort into the class. He is a nice gentleman in his 60s who has been teaching at the university for many years. I looked at his reviews, and they were all positive. Once classes started, it was a bit off. I thought it was understandable since it was the first day of class, and many professors work differently. It’s been several weeks, and we have barely learned anything. So far, the class has been doing discussions on topics we barely learned while the professor just sits back. This class has not taught me anything valuable, but it is required for my degree credits. What do I do in this situation? -- Confused Student

DEAR CONFUSED STUDENT: Ask your professor for more engagement on a personal level so that you can understand the material better. Also, speak to your adviser to find out if you can switch to another section of the class taught by someone else. It would be best if you can change. If you cannot, either work with this professor or drop the class and take it with someone else next semester.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Last Word in Astrology for June 09, 2023
  • Last Word in Astrology for June 08, 2023
  • Last Word in Astrology for June 07, 2023
  • My Friend’s Constant Attempts at being Funny Are No Laughing Matter. Help!
  • My Know-it-All Buddy is Ruining Our Friendship
  • My Fear of Feeling Irrelevant is Real, and Gosh, It Is Painful
  • Daughter Wants Special Time with Mom, but Doesn't Want to Offend Favorite Aunt
  • LW Furious at Parents Over Circumstances of Beloved Cat's Death
  • LW Reaches End of Financial and Emotional Rope
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal