DEAR HARRIETTE: I love to sleep. The feeling of comfort after a long day, in my bed, really helps ease my tension. Lately, I have been having difficulty going to sleep and staying asleep. I have tried many natural remedies to try to calm down, but none has worked. My sleep complications don’t happen frequently, but there are days when they do occur. I have been trying to find the root cause of my situation, and I am not sure if I should see a specialist or handle it on my own. Any ideas? -- Sleepless

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Review your daily activities over the next week. Write down what you do, what you eat and drink and how you spend your time. Notice which days you sleep better than others and what happened on those days and evenings. Do you see a pattern that might indicate if your thoughts, mood or actions affect your sleep? If you notice something, adjust that behavior and determine if you are able to change your sleeping through certain modifications.

Turning off the television well before you go to bed, avoiding caffeine and alcohol near bedtime and thinking positive thoughts all help with sound sleep.

If you are not able to identify ways to improve your sleep on your own, schedule an appointment with your doctor. Bring your analysis with you. This will help your doctor to determine what’s happening for you and how to address it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have four nieces and one nephew. In my eyes, they are my babies, and I can’t bear the idea of them growing up. Recently, my older sister was stationed in Seoul, South Korea, since she works in the Air Force. Now that my family is over a thousand miles across the world, I am worried that the kids will forget me. I love them so much, and I am worried that I am losing touch with them. It has been a few months since they moved to Seoul, and I miss them dearly. I do not want to lose our connection as a family. What can I do to strengthen our bonds even though we are miles apart? -- Forgotten Family

DEAR FORGOTTEN FAMILY: Do not despair. The great news is that you can use modern technology to stay in close touch with your family. You will need to set this up with your sister -- unless the children are old enough to do it themselves. You can use WhatsApp to talk to one another for free. You can see each other using the video feature or just talk through the phone feature. You can leave each other voice messages if it’s tough to talk directly due to the time differences.

You may want to establish a set time each week when you talk to the family. Since you have to coordinate your schedules to deal with the time difference, set it up with your sister, and be vigilant about touching base -- even if your engagement is for only a few minutes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently hospitalized due to a health scare. I am now working with my doctor to figure out what’s going on. I’m on top of it, but I really want to keep my health status private.

I am a freelancer of a certain age, and I don’t need anybody questioning my abilities due to what I hope will be a momentary health challenge. I have chosen not to tell anybody outside my closest confidants, so I was shocked when I got a text from a distant friend offering me prayers for my health because she had heard I was unwell. While I appreciate her sentiments, I was surprised that she even knew. I talk to her a couple of times a year.

I later found out that my husband told a colleague who immediately told this woman. While it was nice to hear from her, I am not happy. My husband knows how private I am. Yet he said something anyway. I know I can’t put the genie back in the bottle, but how can I manage what is sure to be a buzz about my health? -- Not Your Business

DEAR NOT YOUR BUSINESS: Chances are, your husband didn’t mean to spill the beans. He is concerned about you, and since you were at the top of mind, his thoughts spilled out. Don’t beat him up too badly. Instead, remind him of the importance of keeping your health issues private for personal and professional reasons.

As for the person who reached out, it sounds like she hit the right note, in that she offered you blessings and did not ask you about health details. If others reach out to you, you can respond with gratitude for their good wishes and with assurances that you are OK.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It has been a few weeks since I have started the new semester. Many of the classes I have chosen have been challenging but satisfying due to the amazing professors I have.

However, I have one professor who does not seem to put an effort into the class. He is a nice gentleman in his 60s who has been teaching at the university for many years. I looked at his reviews, and they were all positive. Once classes started, it was a bit off. I thought it was understandable since it was the first day of class, and many professors work differently. It’s been several weeks, and we have barely learned anything. So far, the class has been doing discussions on topics we barely learned while the professor just sits back. This class has not taught me anything valuable, but it is required for my degree credits. What do I do in this situation? -- Confused Student

DEAR CONFUSED STUDENT: Ask your professor for more engagement on a personal level so that you can understand the material better. Also, speak to your adviser to find out if you can switch to another section of the class taught by someone else. It would be best if you can change. If you cannot, either work with this professor or drop the class and take it with someone else next semester.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am finding myself at a loss for how to be politically correct when it comes to talking about gender identity. My neighbor’s child -- who was born female -- says that she now identifies as “they.” I do my best to remember, but it doesn’t come natural to me yet.

Beyond that, I see that the language is changing a lot, and I am totally lost. It used to be that people were gay or straight. Now it’s LGBTQ. Or non-binary conforming -- but what does that mean? I don’t want to sound dumb or outdated, but I honestly don’t understand the new realm of gender identity, let alone how to talk about it. Can you help? -- Gender Confusion

DEAR GENDER CONFUSION: At least part of the culture in which we live today is making a concerted effort to be more welcoming of all people, and that includes people who do not conform to the standard definitions of gender identity. For many, this occurs when family members or friends present themselves in ways that do not follow the traditional definitions of “male” or “female.” When loved ones actively claim other ways of defining themselves, those they love often make an effort to support them. This is true even for conservative people who may grapple with their own value systems when it comes to gender identity.

How one defines oneself when the language has been limited to male and female can be a daunting task. It is one that folks have struggled with for generations. I am no expert, but I do know that there is a lot of literature out there that can be supportive. To the point of non-binary, my understanding is that if someone is not comfortable with being singularly either male or female, the person is considered non-binary. The next choices are broadening.

LGBTQ is an acronym that helps some. It means lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer, and it serves as a general category outside of the male/female, straight/homosexual buckets. There is also a movement for people to claim their pronouns -- he, she or they -- in an effort to further define how one identifies.

You should read up on this topic. But if you approach people with respect and openness, you are off to a good start. If you get the label wrong but your intention is good, chances are, you will be able to expand your vocabulary simply by asking for clarification.

For more details, visit bit.ly/2v9ADFn or bit.ly/2S4cn0o. Activist Jodie Patterson, a mother of five with a trans child, wrote a book, “The Bold World: A Memoir of Family and Transformation” that can be very helpful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend loves to wear makeup, and she usually wears bright red lipstick. It looks great on her, and I appreciate the fact that she likes to dress up. What I don’t like is when her lipstick gets on my clothes. It makes me crazy. How can I get her to lay off the red lipstick? She has destroyed several of my favorite shirts just by reaching up to give me a kiss. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but something’s got to give. -- No More Lipstick Stains

DEAR NO MORE LIPSTICK STAINS: Surprise your girlfriend and go to the makeup store and buy her some 24-hour matte red lipstick. Believe it or not, she will still be able to wear red literally all day long, but it won’t wipe off. You should tell her why you bought it so that she herself will make the switch to the 18- or 24-hour variety.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)