DEAR HARRIETTE: I got into a huge argument with a woman who said she wanted to help me work on my business plan. She agreed to a particular fee; it was low, but promised higher returns when I met with success. After beginning to do the work, she flaked time and again, insulted me along the way and never completed what she agreed to do. On top of all of that, she had the nerve to say that I didn’t know what I was doing and that I would never amount to anything. It was awful.

I hear people say how wonderful it is for women to work together. That has not been my experience. Women are usually the ones who stab me in the back. How can I get over this feeling that I can’t trust women to be in my corner? -- Duped By a Woman

DEAR DUPED BY A WOMAN: This one experience does not need to represent the whole of your engagement with women. Do your best to look at this in isolation. Evaluate it carefully. What merit, if any, do this woman’s comments have? Is there something you could have done differently that might have helped the project to be more successful? Can you recall ever speaking to her in disparaging tones? Reflect on your behavior, and acknowledge anything that you could have handled differently.

Next, end this relationship. You do not need to work with someone who is rude and unproductive. Sever your ties. Let her know that you are disappointed with the way that she handled herself. Pay her only what you are legally bound to pay.

Do your best to keep your disdain for women limited to her. Resist the urge to look upon all women with the same lens. See each person for who she is. Your life will be richer if you can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son was not a very good student in high school, and now he is reaping what he sowed. He has applied to quite a few colleges, but he does not have a good chance of getting in to any of his favorites. I convinced him to apply to a few state schools and even community colleges as safety schools. He got mad at me when I made these recommendations, but I know that it is tough to get in to good schools, even when you have good grades. How can I encourage my son to keep trying when it is likely that he will have slim pickings? -- Next Stop College

DEAR NEXT STOP COLLEGE: Talk to your son about his future. What does he want to do with his life? It is absolutely time for him to take steps to make that happen. You cannot do it for him.

Point out that if his career of choice requires higher education, he needs to raise his grades in order to get it. Community college is one way to take classes and up his GPA, which may give him a chance to complete his education at a four-year college or university. Encourage him to take these next steps seriously. Make it clear that you do not intend to support him financially when he is an adult, so he must figure it out now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is very difficult to get close to, but he’s very sweet sometimes, too. He is always posting touching images of animals or babies and children doing nice things to and for each other on social media. In person, he is hard to reach. He does not return calls often. He is a flake. That is, until he chooses to spend time with you; then you feel like the most important person in the world. I think I crave the attention that he sometimes shows me, but it hurts my feelings that everything is on his terms. How can I manage my expectations differently? I don’t like the downside of how our friendship makes me feel. -- Distant Friend

DEAR DISTANT FRIEND: It sounds like you need to accept the reality of this man’s friendship. He has shown you how he behaves and how he engages people. You seem to crave more than he is willing to give. That doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person. It does say that you have not accepted the terms of this relationship.

You already know that the way that people interact on social media is not necessarily reflective of who they are and how they engage in “real life.” Social media is a way for people to posture. It sounds like your friend chooses positive images to share with the world, but they are not of him or about him. Stop trying to read between the lines to find a way to get closer to this man. Instead, either be OK with the time and attention that he affords you, or decide that it is not enough and walk away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had an affair during a time in my marriage when everything was going to hell. When my husband found out, we decided to get a divorce. Now he has come back to me saying that he forgives me and wants to try again. He says he knows things were bad, and that it wasn’t all my fault. He admitted to the things he was doing that were unkind to me. I was surprised at how forthcoming he was.

So now he wants to reconcile. I’m not sure that I do. He is a nice guy, but I think it was a mistake to marry him. Now that we are being more honest, do I tell him the truth, or should I try to make it work in spite of some of my lingering feelings about walking away? -- Reconciliation

DEAR RECONCILIATION: Now is the time for you to be honest with yourself first. What do you want? There was a reason you chose to find companionship outside of your marriage. What was it? Tell yourself the truth about your decisions, and ask if you think you can be fulfilled and faithful if you recommit to your husband. What will it take for you to be able to start over and be 100% in?

If you can find those answers, discuss them with your husband. Be honest without being cruel. Tell him what you want and need in chapter two of your life together.

If you cannot find a way back to your marriage that you believe will work for you, do not pretend that you can. Apologize to your husband for not being able to reconcile. End on a high note by pointing out what was good about your marriage. Let him know that it is time for you to walk away.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a weakened immune system due to asthma. I have never bowed out of activities because of my health, but now I wonder if I should.

I went on a hike with friends this summer and had an asthma attack. I hadn’t told them about my condition, as I keep my health to myself, so they were freaked out. I had my inhaler and ended up being OK, but not without slowing down the whole trip. I do not want people throwing me the side eye because of my health. I have always been able to manage without drawing extra attention to myself. I’m thinking about this because friends are organizing a trip to the mountains for a much bigger hike, and I wonder whether I should go, and, if so, what precautions I should take. -- Question of Health

DEAR QUESTION OF HEALTH: Your first stop should be to your doctor. Contact your physician and your pulmonologist (if you have one) to discuss the status of your health and the upcoming trip. Talk about how you can protect yourself, what safeguards should be in place and who should know about your condition.

Many people with asthma, as well as other health conditions, participate in athletic activities without cause for alarm. To prepare, you should reveal all details of your previous trip and what happened. Talk about what to do in case of emergency. With your physician’s blessing, go on the trip. But do inform at least one participant of your health profile. Also find out about how medical emergencies are handled on the hike route that you have selected.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A young woman interned with me many years ago, and we get together from time to time. I am happy to stay in touch with her, but sometimes it gets expensive. We typically go out for drinks or to eat. Since she is much younger than me, I feel like I should pay for our outings. But my income has changed, and I don’t really have much disposable cash anymore. I am embarrassed to point this out, but I think I must if I intend to continue meeting up with her. How do I tell her that I need her to split the bill? -- Managing Expectations

DEAR MANAGING EXPECTATIONS: You are not beholden to this young woman financially. Though you feel responsible for her, this is not a requirement. You have a few choices to consider. For starters, why not spend time in places that do not cost money? Go for a walk to chat during temperate weather. Visit a free museum or art show in your town. Meet for coffee, a far more affordable alternative than drinks or dinner.

You can also tell this young woman that you are happy to meet with her, but you need to split the bill. It is important for the next generation to learn about the realities of aging. This includes financial changes. This can become a teaching moment -- even if it does feel a bit like eating humble pie.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)