DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine has always said she wants to be an author. She’s never published anything. Recently, she presented me with a manuscript that she says she has been working on for years. It reads a bit like a memoir, but I do not think it is very good. The thoughts are not coherent. What do I say to her? I have written a little bit here and there, but I am no editor. I don’t really know how to help her. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. What do I say to someone who is so passionate, but who really doesn’t have the chops to do it? -- Wannabe Writer

DEAR WANNABE WRITER: Unless you have the power to publish a book, do not assume that you have the authority to determine whether your friend has the chops to be an author. Table that thought.

Beyond that, you can recommend that your friend take a class or participate in a writer’s workshop. These days, there are specific workshops designed for people who want to write memoirs, so she can get specific if she likes. It can be both helpful and like a splash of cold water in your face to sit with a group of fellow writers and share your work. In those settings, you receive constructive criticism, often guided by a group leader -- often a professional writer or editor. In that environment, your friend may gain the ability to refine her writing and learn how to tell her story.

Further, because of the advent and popularity of self-publishing, your friend can choose to publish her book on her own. You should encourage her to get as much professional support as she can so that she strengthens her craft, thereby making her final product as good as it can be.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a dream that my teenage daughter was at a rock concert and was raped in the bathroom at the venue. I know that’s a horrible thought, but it was so vivid that I woke up crying. I’m thinking I had this dream so that I can remind my daughter of how important it is to be cautious and to travel in pairs. She gets tired of me giving her safety directions all the time, but now that she is growing up, I know that she needs to remain cautious as she also becomes more independent. Do I tell her about my dream? What should I do? -- Protecting My Teenager

DEAR PROTECTING MY TEENAGER: You don’t necessarily need to relay the vivid details of your dream to your daughter. You should clearly and firmly remind her of your rules for being safe in public. I don’t think men or women should go into public restrooms in arenas or nightclubs alone. It is always safer in twos. Same goes for walking down darkened hallways. Remind your daughter to NEVER take a drink she didn’t see poured or she didn’t open herself.

Feel free to sit down with your daughter and explain that it is your job to remind her to be vigilant -- not because you don’t trust her, but because the world is filled with all kinds of people, not all of whom have her best interest at heart.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who constantly reprimands me about everything. Just the other day, I sent her a report about a project that we had just finished. All of the information was clearly articulated in an organized and succinct manner -- as I do after every project. Her response was to thank me for it and to point out that I should be providing written reports on a regular basis to her so that she can share them with others. Duh. That’s exactly what I had just done. Why did she feel the need to state the obvious?

It was a little confusing because it didn’t make sense that she would seemingly chastise me when I had just done what she wanted. Should I say something to her about this? I was wondering if I should ask her if what I sent is what she wants, just so that there is no room for misunderstanding. What do you think? -- Point of Clarification

DEAR POINT OF CLARIFICATION: Assuming that your client believes she had a legitimate reason for highlighting your action as something you should do regularly, you can ask her if she is requesting a variation on what you normally offer to her. You can clearly ask if what you typically provide is adequate or if this note is suggesting that she wants more. Without attitude, you can request clarification to ensure that you both are on the same page.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been one with a particularly active libido. Now I am taking a series of medicines for a chronic condition, and a side effect is reduced libido. My husband was already mad that I no longer seem to have the desire for intimacy, and now this. My doctor says I have to take the medicine. What can I do to stimulate arousal, or should I just tell my husband to get over it? -- Unstimulated

DEAR UNSTIMULATED: Start with your doctor. Tell him or her about the unwanted side effect of reduced libido, and ask if there is another medication that you might be able to take to balance yourself out.

Besides that, it may be time for you and your husband to rekindle a bit of romance. What did you enjoy doing together when you were more intimately engaged? Did you like to go on dates or watch certain programs together? Did you split a dessert or read passages from a book? Think back to your more romantic days, and draw upon memories to help stimulate even a passing interest in romance. You may find that small gestures can lead you home. You don’t have to jump into the sack right away, but a kiss now and then, a back rub, things like that may lead to a closer bond between you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I get tickets for a special event and invite my husband to go with me, he reneges on the day of. Like clockwork, he finds some excuse for not being able to join me. I get these great, free tickets through my work. They are often for special cultural experiences, and the ticket price is high. I find myself scrambling to get someone to go with me. I know I should probably give up, but I want him to go out with me on fun dates. We have been married for a long time, and he seems satisfied with going out to dinner once a year for our anniversary. How can I get him to want to go? -- Date Night

DEAR DATE NIGHT: Do your best to give your husband enough lead time to be available for the date you have in mind. Sell the idea to him so that he may get excited about it. Try that next time to see if he will budge. If not, stop inviting him to these events that you really need to attend, since they are attached to your job. Instead, invite girlfriends or family members.

Meanwhile, ask your husband what he might like to do with you. Think about what he’s interested in as well. Sports? A particular cuisine? Does he have hobbies? If you can think of something that genuinely interests him, you may be able to get him to break his habits and go out on a date -- even now, at this mature stage in your married life. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I come from a wealthy family. My mother says I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. The only problem is that the silver spoon was never given to me. As a child, I grew up in a small studio apartment located in a damp basement infested with roaches. My father made a lot of money, but he never used it for me. I always called him “Mr. Krabs” due to how greedy and stingy he was with his money. He was a former producer for the news. Plus he owned a business with my uncle in Trinidad.

My father was sick for a long time, and during his final days, he talked about how I would be set for life. That was a flat-out lie. My mother and I were left with nothing, unless you call thousands of dollars of debt an inheritance. I later found out that my uncle, who I thought of as another father figure, is richer than my father ever was. He lives in a giant mansion in the mountains. He uses it to support his 30-year-old children. I, a 19 year old with barely enough to survive, was left with nothing. I struggle to help my mom pay off my father’s debt. My uncle barely helps me. I feel abandoned by the people I trust most. I am barely surviving, but I am managing. I am just hurt by my family ignoring me and running off with my father’s money. As a person with a lot of pride, what should I do in a situation like this? -- Poor Little Rich Girl

DEAR POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL: If you are certain that your father did not leave you money in his will, legally you have no recourse to get money from your uncle or any other family member. Given that your family never supported you, there is no reason for you to believe they will start now. It is time for you to stop thinking of yourself as something that you are not.

Find a lawyer who may be able to detangle you from your father’s debt, and start to build your own life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)