DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who constantly reprimands me about everything. Just the other day, I sent her a report about a project that we had just finished. All of the information was clearly articulated in an organized and succinct manner -- as I do after every project. Her response was to thank me for it and to point out that I should be providing written reports on a regular basis to her so that she can share them with others. Duh. That’s exactly what I had just done. Why did she feel the need to state the obvious?

It was a little confusing because it didn’t make sense that she would seemingly chastise me when I had just done what she wanted. Should I say something to her about this? I was wondering if I should ask her if what I sent is what she wants, just so that there is no room for misunderstanding. What do you think? -- Point of Clarification

DEAR POINT OF CLARIFICATION: Assuming that your client believes she had a legitimate reason for highlighting your action as something you should do regularly, you can ask her if she is requesting a variation on what you normally offer to her. You can clearly ask if what you typically provide is adequate or if this note is suggesting that she wants more. Without attitude, you can request clarification to ensure that you both are on the same page.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been one with a particularly active libido. Now I am taking a series of medicines for a chronic condition, and a side effect is reduced libido. My husband was already mad that I no longer seem to have the desire for intimacy, and now this. My doctor says I have to take the medicine. What can I do to stimulate arousal, or should I just tell my husband to get over it? -- Unstimulated

DEAR UNSTIMULATED: Start with your doctor. Tell him or her about the unwanted side effect of reduced libido, and ask if there is another medication that you might be able to take to balance yourself out.

Besides that, it may be time for you and your husband to rekindle a bit of romance. What did you enjoy doing together when you were more intimately engaged? Did you like to go on dates or watch certain programs together? Did you split a dessert or read passages from a book? Think back to your more romantic days, and draw upon memories to help stimulate even a passing interest in romance. You may find that small gestures can lead you home. You don’t have to jump into the sack right away, but a kiss now and then, a back rub, things like that may lead to a closer bond between you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I get tickets for a special event and invite my husband to go with me, he reneges on the day of. Like clockwork, he finds some excuse for not being able to join me. I get these great, free tickets through my work. They are often for special cultural experiences, and the ticket price is high. I find myself scrambling to get someone to go with me. I know I should probably give up, but I want him to go out with me on fun dates. We have been married for a long time, and he seems satisfied with going out to dinner once a year for our anniversary. How can I get him to want to go? -- Date Night

DEAR DATE NIGHT: Do your best to give your husband enough lead time to be available for the date you have in mind. Sell the idea to him so that he may get excited about it. Try that next time to see if he will budge. If not, stop inviting him to these events that you really need to attend, since they are attached to your job. Instead, invite girlfriends or family members.

Meanwhile, ask your husband what he might like to do with you. Think about what he’s interested in as well. Sports? A particular cuisine? Does he have hobbies? If you can think of something that genuinely interests him, you may be able to get him to break his habits and go out on a date -- even now, at this mature stage in your married life. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I come from a wealthy family. My mother says I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. The only problem is that the silver spoon was never given to me. As a child, I grew up in a small studio apartment located in a damp basement infested with roaches. My father made a lot of money, but he never used it for me. I always called him “Mr. Krabs” due to how greedy and stingy he was with his money. He was a former producer for the news. Plus he owned a business with my uncle in Trinidad.

My father was sick for a long time, and during his final days, he talked about how I would be set for life. That was a flat-out lie. My mother and I were left with nothing, unless you call thousands of dollars of debt an inheritance. I later found out that my uncle, who I thought of as another father figure, is richer than my father ever was. He lives in a giant mansion in the mountains. He uses it to support his 30-year-old children. I, a 19 year old with barely enough to survive, was left with nothing. I struggle to help my mom pay off my father’s debt. My uncle barely helps me. I feel abandoned by the people I trust most. I am barely surviving, but I am managing. I am just hurt by my family ignoring me and running off with my father’s money. As a person with a lot of pride, what should I do in a situation like this? -- Poor Little Rich Girl

DEAR POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL: If you are certain that your father did not leave you money in his will, legally you have no recourse to get money from your uncle or any other family member. Given that your family never supported you, there is no reason for you to believe they will start now. It is time for you to stop thinking of yourself as something that you are not.

Find a lawyer who may be able to detangle you from your father’s debt, and start to build your own life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: For those of you who celebrate, happy Valentine’s Day! This day has been reserved as a day to express your love and affection for those you hold dear. I like the overarching sentiment, even though I cringe at how product-driven the day has become.

Instead of being overwhelmed by the consumer mania of Valentine’s Day, I invite you to stop a moment and think about what else it can mean for you. If the highlight is love, can you think about those you love the most and get creative about how you celebrate them without falling into the trap of spending a pocketful of cash? A thoughtful call, a handwritten note, an invitation for a romantic walk, a shoulder rub -- all of these cost nothing, but count for so much.

I do not disparage those who purchase lovely treasures for their beloved, but I just think it isn’t a requirement.

When I was growing up, I don’t remember Valentine’s Day being a thing in my house. My parents were happily married, and they did pay attention to each other. But I’m blanking on any memory of red roses, chocolates or jewelry on that day. I want to say I noticed an extra kiss on the lips when my Daddy came home from work, but that’s me waxing nostalgic more than actually remembering.

Valentine’s Day took on greater meaning for my family when my father died. This larger-than-life man was born on Jan. 1 and died on Valentine’s Day. Go figure. He definitely didn’t plan it, but it happened nonetheless, and then, with time standing still, this day of love marked a day of death. My mother’s husband of 41 years was no longer. That peck on the lips was done. That sparkle in the eye that they shared, especially in their later years, was extinguished. That call to check to see if we were living up to our expectations no longer came.

In the more than 20 years since my father’s passing, we reignite that flame of love between our parents and their three daughters on this special day -- not with gifts, but with calls, with memories, with hugs, with blessings.

There is a song I love by Luther Vandross, called “Dance With My Father.” I think of this song and of the gift that my own father, the Honorable Harry Augustus Cole, gave to my sisters and me -- the ability to dance. What I wouldn’t do to dance with him again.

What does Valentine’s Day conjure for you? Dig deep to unearth a treasured memory that you hold about people you love. If they are still living, reach out and remind them of how much you care. If relatives are still with us, contact them to share whatever comes up for you. And for those you love right now, make sure they know your gesture of affection is real. The flowers that emerge from your heart are far more valuable than those that you buy -- that is, unless your store-bought rose is accompanied by your heartfelt embrace.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)