DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I get tickets for a special event and invite my husband to go with me, he reneges on the day of. Like clockwork, he finds some excuse for not being able to join me. I get these great, free tickets through my work. They are often for special cultural experiences, and the ticket price is high. I find myself scrambling to get someone to go with me. I know I should probably give up, but I want him to go out with me on fun dates. We have been married for a long time, and he seems satisfied with going out to dinner once a year for our anniversary. How can I get him to want to go? -- Date Night

DEAR DATE NIGHT: Do your best to give your husband enough lead time to be available for the date you have in mind. Sell the idea to him so that he may get excited about it. Try that next time to see if he will budge. If not, stop inviting him to these events that you really need to attend, since they are attached to your job. Instead, invite girlfriends or family members.

Meanwhile, ask your husband what he might like to do with you. Think about what he’s interested in as well. Sports? A particular cuisine? Does he have hobbies? If you can think of something that genuinely interests him, you may be able to get him to break his habits and go out on a date -- even now, at this mature stage in your married life. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I come from a wealthy family. My mother says I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. The only problem is that the silver spoon was never given to me. As a child, I grew up in a small studio apartment located in a damp basement infested with roaches. My father made a lot of money, but he never used it for me. I always called him “Mr. Krabs” due to how greedy and stingy he was with his money. He was a former producer for the news. Plus he owned a business with my uncle in Trinidad.

My father was sick for a long time, and during his final days, he talked about how I would be set for life. That was a flat-out lie. My mother and I were left with nothing, unless you call thousands of dollars of debt an inheritance. I later found out that my uncle, who I thought of as another father figure, is richer than my father ever was. He lives in a giant mansion in the mountains. He uses it to support his 30-year-old children. I, a 19 year old with barely enough to survive, was left with nothing. I struggle to help my mom pay off my father’s debt. My uncle barely helps me. I feel abandoned by the people I trust most. I am barely surviving, but I am managing. I am just hurt by my family ignoring me and running off with my father’s money. As a person with a lot of pride, what should I do in a situation like this? -- Poor Little Rich Girl

DEAR POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL: If you are certain that your father did not leave you money in his will, legally you have no recourse to get money from your uncle or any other family member. Given that your family never supported you, there is no reason for you to believe they will start now. It is time for you to stop thinking of yourself as something that you are not.

Find a lawyer who may be able to detangle you from your father’s debt, and start to build your own life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: For those of you who celebrate, happy Valentine’s Day! This day has been reserved as a day to express your love and affection for those you hold dear. I like the overarching sentiment, even though I cringe at how product-driven the day has become.

Instead of being overwhelmed by the consumer mania of Valentine’s Day, I invite you to stop a moment and think about what else it can mean for you. If the highlight is love, can you think about those you love the most and get creative about how you celebrate them without falling into the trap of spending a pocketful of cash? A thoughtful call, a handwritten note, an invitation for a romantic walk, a shoulder rub -- all of these cost nothing, but count for so much.

I do not disparage those who purchase lovely treasures for their beloved, but I just think it isn’t a requirement.

When I was growing up, I don’t remember Valentine’s Day being a thing in my house. My parents were happily married, and they did pay attention to each other. But I’m blanking on any memory of red roses, chocolates or jewelry on that day. I want to say I noticed an extra kiss on the lips when my Daddy came home from work, but that’s me waxing nostalgic more than actually remembering.

Valentine’s Day took on greater meaning for my family when my father died. This larger-than-life man was born on Jan. 1 and died on Valentine’s Day. Go figure. He definitely didn’t plan it, but it happened nonetheless, and then, with time standing still, this day of love marked a day of death. My mother’s husband of 41 years was no longer. That peck on the lips was done. That sparkle in the eye that they shared, especially in their later years, was extinguished. That call to check to see if we were living up to our expectations no longer came.

In the more than 20 years since my father’s passing, we reignite that flame of love between our parents and their three daughters on this special day -- not with gifts, but with calls, with memories, with hugs, with blessings.

There is a song I love by Luther Vandross, called “Dance With My Father.” I think of this song and of the gift that my own father, the Honorable Harry Augustus Cole, gave to my sisters and me -- the ability to dance. What I wouldn’t do to dance with him again.

What does Valentine’s Day conjure for you? Dig deep to unearth a treasured memory that you hold about people you love. If they are still living, reach out and remind them of how much you care. If relatives are still with us, contact them to share whatever comes up for you. And for those you love right now, make sure they know your gesture of affection is real. The flowers that emerge from your heart are far more valuable than those that you buy -- that is, unless your store-bought rose is accompanied by your heartfelt embrace.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is the most beautiful girl that I know. She is funny, smart and an amazing singer. I’ve known her since we were in the sixth grade, so she is basically my sister. Lately, she has been down, and it is mostly due to her weight.

In middle school, she was close to being morbidly obese, so she was bullied a lot by our classmates. When we got into high school, she was selected to get gastric bypass surgery, which is a procedure that shrinks the stomach. After a couple of months, she started losing a ton of weight. She lost over 200 pounds! I am so proud of her, and she looks amazing. But she doesn’t think so. I encourage her every day because I know she is a beautiful girl and that she should be proud of how much she has accomplished. My one concern is that I don’t want her to develop an eating disorder, and I don’t know what else to do to help her through her body image problem. What can I do to help her out? -- Concerned Bestie

DEAR CONCERNED BESTIE: Before gastric bypass surgery, patients typically have to get psychological counseling. It is good to have afterward, too. Accepting yourself for who you are is a key to a healthy life. Of course, it is important to take action to heal your body, but it often takes a while for the mind to catch up.

Encourage your friend to engage a psychologist to support her during this time of transition. Point out how much she has accomplished and how proud of her you are. Tell her that you have learned that getting professional support can help her to be strong and happy. To learn more, go to bit.ly/2U8MKNs.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have not been intimate in years. It started with him having a medical condition, followed by several years of nasty back and forth. I felt like we were always yelling. I had no desire to have sex if the only other interaction that was happening was mean-spirited and negative. We have been mainly getting along recently, mostly focused on work and our children. But our second kid is about to go away to college.

As we have been planning for college, my husband mentioned that when our son leaves, he wants a divorce. This should not be a surprise; we have been mostly coexisting for years, but I guess I never thought it would actually happen. I’m scared to death. I haven’t been on my own for years. My husband makes way more money than I do, and even though we are at retirement age, I doubt I can ever retire. I don’t know how I will make it on my own. How can I get him to reconsider? -- Stop the Divorce

DEAR STOP THE DIVORCE: Nothing that you said suggests that you want to save the marriage. It appears that you want to save your finances. Depending on where you live, you may be eligible for as much as half of your husband’s assets. That may help. But, for starters, why not ask your husband to go to counseling with you? Even if it ends up as professional support for how you uncouple, it may prove helpful for you to figure out your next steps.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)