DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a young child, and I have been looking for a nanny to help me take care of her when I go back to work. I know a few moms who have nannies, but I’m really at a loss for how to find someone I can trust to watch my child. You hear horror stories about how other people take care of your children. Those stories are getting under my skin, and I am not sure how I should proceed. Do you have any recommendations? -- Need a Nanny

DEAR NEED A NANNY: In different towns, infant and child care is handled in different ways. Sometimes a day care center that has been accredited by the city or state can work perfectly for you and can be more affordable than an individual coming to your home. In other places, a nanny or a live-in au pair is common.

In all cases, you should rely heavily on referrals. Look for someone who has been recommended by people you know and trust. Research organizations that insure their staff and do background checks before they present potential employees to you.

In many cities, people hire undocumented workers or people for whom they do not pay taxes in order to get a lower rate. You should think twice about this. In no way am I condemning these people as being untrustworthy. But the downsides for you include your inability to get that legal background check and the liability that you will have for hiring someone illegally.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been freelancing in my field for about 10 years now. I have built up a few key clients, but it is tough for me to make enough money to pay my bills, let alone create a cushion for retirement. I learned about a full-time job opportunity that looks promising, but I am worried. The salary is not very high, even though it does offer benefits. I wonder if I get this job and have to walk away from my freelance clients, what happens if the job doesn’t last? Then I will have to start all over. This makes me nervous. Do you think I should go for the interview? -- Testing the Waters

DEAR TESTING THE WATERS: Consider this opportunity as a wonderful moment to evaluate where you are financially and in your business and to map out a plan for the future. What do you need to be financially comfortable in 10 years? Are you on a trajectory now that will get you there? How viable are your current clients? What strategy can you put in place to grow your client base?

Can this job be advantageous? Make a list of pros and cons of the job. How much money can you save? Will the included benefits be a financial relief for you? What is the potential for growth in this company?

No matter what you ultimately decide, go for the interview. This will help you to learn how valuable you are in the marketplace. If you decide to accept the job, give it your all and don’t worry about how long it will last. Your focus, expertise and enthusiasm will help you to succeed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I swore off social media about a year ago because I found it to be a distraction, and I really needed to get some work done. I gave myself a year, and now that I am there, I don’t know if I want to go back. I like being disengaged from the chatter, much of which doesn’t seem real. At the same time, I have a new project I’m working on, and social media can be very helpful in getting the word out. Any recommendations for how to balance if I go back in? -- Off Social Media

DEAR OFF SOCIAL MEDIA: You have the ability to choose how to use social media. It makes sense to engage your public for business purposes. Since you have not used social media for a year, your followers will be happy to hear from you, and you can set the parameters for engagement. You can state that you intend to use social media infrequently. You want to keep the peacefulness that you have established in your life, but you also want to keep in touch with them occasionally. Let your people know that you will pop up from time to time to share news about things that you think they may be interested in. Ask for their blessing for your new terms of engagement.

The reason you do this so graciously is that you want your people to support your upcoming project. You cannot come off as selfish, or you will lose people. To use social media, you will need to interact a bit with your people, beyond simply announcing your efforts. But you can limit it. Decide how often per week or month you intend to engage, and stick to it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a weak immune system. Whenever my son gets a cold, I get sick. Same for my husband. I have always been like this. In fact, my doctor recommended that I get the flu shot when my son got the flu earlier this year, because the chances were likely that I would get it. When I told my husband about this, he was outraged. He thinks doctors are just trying to pump people up with vaccinations. He thinks it’s ridiculous that I would take that approach.

I’m not exaggerating. I actually do get sick very easily. I think I should follow my doctor’s advice. How can I get my husband to understand? I worry that if I ever do get very ill, he won’t respond in the way that my doctor recommends. -- Health Advocate

DEAR HEALTH ADVOCATE: You must take care of yourself. Following your doctor’s directions is smart. You can also continue to educate your husband about your unique health concerns. Meanwhile, you may want to identify someone else in your life who would be willing to serve as your advocate if you ever need someone to be by your side speaking for you in an emergency situation. If your husband is not in alignment with you about your health challenges, he probably cannot adequately support you if you ever do have a health crisis or emergency.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been looking for work for about a year. Throughout this period, I have been talking to a few close friends about my search, as they are also looking for work. Recently, one friend told me about a job she is interviewing for that seems perfect for me. She even said as much when she mentioned it, though she agreed to the interview and asked me not to apply. I don’t think that’s fair. Truthfully, this job isn’t even in her field, but like all of us, she is just going for everything she can. Is it wrong for me to want to apply for a job that seems like a perfect fit even though my friend asked me not to? -- Should I Go For It?

DEAR SHOULD I GO FOR IT?: Unless you made a covenant with your friend not to apply for anything that the other goes for, you are not beholden to her request. You should know, however, that if you go for the interview and get the job, your friendship will probably suffer, at least in the short run.

In the best of worlds, you and your friends should use this moment as an opportunity for clarification of your interviewing process. If you have the nerves for it, bring it out in the open. The goal is that the best person for the job should get it, even when that includes two or more friends. You must realize that in most cases it won’t be just you and your friends being considered for a position. Agree to pump each other up, even if you are both going for the same thing. Trust that there is a perfect job for each of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has one class that is causing him a lot of stress. He is in high school and trying to be independent in terms of doing his homework and fending for himself. But I see that he is terrified of how he is managing in this class. I want to support him more actively. Because I am not good at the subject he’s struggling in, I want to get him a tutor. How can I convince him to consider it? I could force him, since he is a minor, but I don’t think that’s the right approach. -- Accept a Tutor

DEAR ACCEPT A TUTOR: Some students mistakenly believe that getting a tutor is an indication of failure. Your job is to encourage your son to recognize that a tutor can help him to understand what his teacher has failed to impart effectively to him. Since you are unable to clarify this knowledge, your job is to find someone who can help him. There is no shame in getting help. This is true in school and in life.

Make sure your son knows that it is a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it. A tutor can help him to master his understanding of a subject so that he can achieve whatever is before him. Encourage him to embrace the opportunity to have that support.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)