DEAR HARRIETTE: Seemingly out of the blue, they are reading lots of books about race at my son’s school. Seriously, they have read three books back-to-back about racial injustice. While I think it is important for the kids to learn about these topics, it is making us uncomfortable. Not everything is about race, but you would never know from this class. I don’t have the knowledge or time to debate these issues with my son every day.

I’m not trying to be rude or insensitive. My husband and I work hard to make sure that our son is thoughtful and not racist, but we also don’t want him to feel super self-conscious about being white. He shouldn’t have to apologize for being himself. I don’t know how to support him as times change. I do teach him to treat everyone with respect, but does that mean I have to allow him to be exposed to so much conversation about the atrocities of racism? -- Too Much Race Talk

DEAR TOO MUCH RACE TALK: I need to respectfully disagree with you on this. Hopefully your son is in the perfect place to engage in a conversation that is necessary for healing in our country. The good news, in my book, is that schools are walking toward the challenge rather than avoiding it. Perhaps our youth will be able to wrestle issues of diversity, equity and inclusion in respectful, creative ways. Consider that this is the way you can think about the curriculum he is engaging, rather than as a burden.

I think you should read the books, too, so that you can have informed conversations with him about what he is learning. Your job as a parent is to guide your child and to help him process whatever information comes before him. The more you equip yourself with the conversations of the day coupled with your own experience, the better you will be able to help him navigate this extremely challenging reality -- that racial injustice is still staring us in the face, and we have to do something about it.

For support, visit courageousconversation.com. This organization is devoted to helping educational institutions -- from administrators to students to parents -- learn how to talk respectfully and honestly about the realities of race, equity, inclusion and diversity in meaningful ways.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hired a young woman to work with me this year fresh out of college. She is smart and personable. She knows how to do the job for the most part, but she has terrible basic manners. I am shocked that she doesn’t know how to eat using basic utensils. She doesn’t have an understanding of professional dress and what’s appropriate to wear to a business meeting or a special event after work. These may seem like small things, but they can make or break a person in their career. She is sensitive, and I’m not sure how to broach the subject. I want her to succeed, so I think she needs some guidance. What do you recommend? -- In Need of Etiquette Classes

DEAR IN NEED OF ETIQUETTE CLASSES: Invest in this young woman. If your HR department does not teach the basics of etiquette, send her to a class that will give her tips on how to present herself in a professional setting.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends has terminal cancer. He has tried everything to heal himself, which is actually a lot because he has money. He has traveled all over the world trying to find a doctor or therapy that will help him, but nothing is working. Now, it seems like he is slowing down. He is unwilling to accept that he may be dying soon, though. He still wants to hang out late, which I do not advise. But then I wonder if I should just support whatever he wants. He usually includes me at his fun events, but I see that he is failing. How can I best support him? -- Friend at the End

DEAR FRIEND AT THE END: First, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s health challenges. He has learned on a personal level that money does not buy everything, including health -- at least sometimes. Good for him that he used his resources to make the effort to heal himself. If he truly has exhausted all of his options, now is his time to live out his last days as he chooses.

You may be able to help your friend during this delicate period. If he will address the topic, find out if he has all of his papers and finances in order. Tell him that you want to help him, and you want to make sure his affairs are in order.

Rather than reprimanding him about how he spends his final days, do your best to be with him as much as you are able. Help him to savor his time left on Earth.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a small apartment building. Most of the people who live here know each other, but it would be inaccurate to say that we are all friends. There’s one guy who lives one floor below me who has decided that he is my friend. He stops by at all times of the day and night without invitation. I don’t like that. I deserve to have my privacy and to entertain who I want, not just him because he keeps coming over. The last straw was when he rang my bell after midnight and kept ringing until I answered. He had been drinking and was loud and obnoxious. I ended up letting him in so that he wouldn’t wake up all the neighbors, but I don’t want to let him in anymore. How should I handle this? -- Setting Boundaries

DEAR SETTING BOUNDARIES: Start by talking to your neighbor and letting him know you are not happy with his uninvited visits. Point out how upset you were when he showed up drunk, loud and late the other night. Warn him that if he does that again, you will call the police.

Speak to a few of your other neighbors to let them know what is going on. It will be important for others to have your back. You have to stay strong, though, and enforce your boundaries.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an immigrant, and I have lived in this country for more than 20 years; in fact, I am now an American citizen. My problem is that as much as I want to visit my family in my home country, it is so expensive that I can go only every few years. I save as much and spend as little as possible here, but my expenses are considerable. Also, because I live in the United States, my family assumes that I am rich. I am expected to pay for the family homestead, even though I don’t work there, and when I come home, I am expected to bring lots of gifts and money to give to everyone. They don’t have any idea of what it costs to take care of just one person in the U.S. They expect me to be able to take care of all of them -- parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. I can’t afford it. How can I get them to understand? -- Across the Sea

DEAR ACROSS THE SEA: The biggest challenge you are facing is cultural. Your family in your native home do not have a point of reference for what it means to afford a life in the United States. You have been working very hard to live up to their expectations. Unfortunately, your efforts have helped to reinforce their belief that you can afford it all.

The only way that they are going to be able to accept your reality is for you to accept it. What’s more important: showering them with gifts and money, or seeing them? Evaluate that. Sometimes the resources may be more important. But other times, being in each other’s company is way more valuable. You decide, and then make it clear to them that when you visit next, you will not be able to bring the bounty of items that usually come with you. When you come with less, they may be disappointed at first, but they will come to accept the new reality.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just feeling pretty low, thinking about all of the things that aren’t going so well in my life right now. I am getting older, fatter and broker than ever. I am so worried that I won’t have the resources to take care of myself when I should be retiring. I was getting kind of panicky the other day, and then I got the sweetest message from an old friend who wrote to say that I inspire him. What? That was the kindest thing, but also unbelievable. I feel like such a failure, and here he is singing my praises. He really lifted my spirits. I’m afraid that this good feeling won’t last. What can I do to stay positive? -- Feeling Down

DEAR FEELING DOWN: My mother always used to tell my sisters and me to count our blessings, especially when we were feeling down. She would urge us to write down what is good about our lives, from the tiniest things to bigger ones. The list can include waking up in the morning, having food to eat, having a job, having loved ones or having the choice to rethink how you will spend the day. Make your list, and allow it make you smile.

Then offer service. Do something for someone who needs more than you, and your heart will warm. Also, attend to your life. Work on the things that need fixing so that you can improve your circumstances. Don’t give up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)