DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends has terminal cancer. He has tried everything to heal himself, which is actually a lot because he has money. He has traveled all over the world trying to find a doctor or therapy that will help him, but nothing is working. Now, it seems like he is slowing down. He is unwilling to accept that he may be dying soon, though. He still wants to hang out late, which I do not advise. But then I wonder if I should just support whatever he wants. He usually includes me at his fun events, but I see that he is failing. How can I best support him? -- Friend at the End
DEAR FRIEND AT THE END: First, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s health challenges. He has learned on a personal level that money does not buy everything, including health -- at least sometimes. Good for him that he used his resources to make the effort to heal himself. If he truly has exhausted all of his options, now is his time to live out his last days as he chooses.
You may be able to help your friend during this delicate period. If he will address the topic, find out if he has all of his papers and finances in order. Tell him that you want to help him, and you want to make sure his affairs are in order.
Rather than reprimanding him about how he spends his final days, do your best to be with him as much as you are able. Help him to savor his time left on Earth.