DEAR HARRIETTE: I saw a woman over the holidays who I had not seen for about 15 years. It was so nice to see her and to reconnect. One thing that bothered me, though, was that I could see that when she looked at me, she noticed that I have gained a lot of weight. She didn’t say anything, but I saw her see me. I feel bad enough that I no longer have the figure I had when I was younger.

I now have a child and never had a good exercise routine, so I’ve basically sat on my butt for many of the years since I have seen my friend. Well, not exactly -- I have been taking care of my active son.

Anyway, her glance was a wake-up call. I would like to get healthier. I hope it is not too late. It is hard to commit to it, though. Any ideas for how I can change my attitude and get fit? -- Wake-Up Call

DEAR WAKE-UP CALL: Consider the fact that you ran into this woman a blessing. Who knows what she was thinking? What you think is what matters. One thing that could motivate you to move your body more and get healthier is your son. If you want to be able to be strong and vital as he matures, you must take good care of yourself. That includes moving your body every day, eating well and paying attention to your health.

Go to your doctor and get a physical to find out if there are any medical concerns that you should address. Ask your doctor for recommendations for a fitness routine and nutritional program. You may be referred to a dietician. Follow your doctor’s directions. Whenever you feel yourself slipping, think of your son. Let him be your constant motivation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently moved to New York City, and I have a car. I like being able to drive whenever I want to get out of the city or go to another borough, but I get way too many parking tickets. Either I forget to move my car for alternate-side-of-the-street parking, or I inadvertently park in the wrong space. It is so confusing.

I’m thinking of selling my car. My friends are up in arms about this. They love that I have a car and can drive to places that we otherwise might not visit. They aren’t willing to help move my car or pay for tickets -- not that I would feel comfortable even asking them -- but they are pressuring me to keep my car. They have offered to chip in to pay for a garage, but that’s expensive, too. What should I do? -- Car in the City

DEAR CAR IN THE CITY: Evaluate your budget so that you are clear about what you can afford. Search for affordable garages. If you look in remote neighborhoods, the price for a parking lot goes down. Or you can recommit to paying closer attention to street parking so that you stop getting tickets.

In terms of your friends helping to foot a parking lot bill, you can consider that. But make sure that you understand their expectations. Will they expect to have access to your car at their leisure? Will they want to drive it? Outline what the parameters and boundaries are. You can try this shared payment for parking for a few months. Evaluate it carefully to see if it works for all. If nothing works, you can give up your car and choose to rent when you need wheels.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children get mad at me because I’m old-school: I don’t care how old they are -- I don’t want them leaving home without putting on lotion. I can’t stand looking at ashy skin. It looks bad, but what’s worse is that your skin can crack if you don’t keep it moisturized. They hate it when I remind them. As long as they live under my roof, I want them to do the basic things needed to care for their skin. How can I get this point across without fussing all the time? It’s winter. It should be obvious to them. -- Dry Skin Dilemma

DEAR DRY SKIN DILEMMA: Some messages take forever to sink in. You should continue to remind them to moisturize their skin -- and to drink enough water, especially during this cold-weather season. You might want to get creative, too. Put a bottle of lotion or body cream in their room in a location that makes it very noticeable. Put a bottle near the sink in the bathroom as a reminder to lotion up before getting dressed.

Remind them with a smile on your face. Try not to be combative -- even if this is the millionth time you have told them to do it. Chances are, when they are grown and on their own, they will hear your voice in their head and tend to their skin, as they also remind their own children!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is dating a boy I do not like. She and my wife say they love him. I have not told them that I disapprove. I don’t like the way he talks to her. And he is distracting her from her studies. She has worked so hard to do well in school, but ever since she started seeing this guy, her grades have been slipping. What can I say to get her to focus on her studies again? I’m worried she will ignore whatever I say. -- Desperate Dad

DEAR DESPERATE DAD: Talk to your wife first, and point out that your daughter’s grades are slipping. Let her know that you are concerned about how your daughter is spending her time. Acknowledge that you believe your wife likes this young man. Point out that you don’t want to be the bad guy, but you do want to sound the alarm before your daughter’s life veers off track. Ask your wife to support you in talking to your daughter about paying closer attention to her schoolwork.

I recommend that you focus on her studies rather than the young man. Condemning him may make your daughter cling to him more. Instead, encourage her to reserve enough time to do her work. Suggest that she seems to be socializing a bit too much, and her schoolwork is suffering as a result.

Ideally, your daughter needs to come to the realization herself that this young man is a distraction to her. Your best bet is to keep your comments targeted to her schoolwork. When she thinks about what has been occupying her time, she may realize that she has to redirect some of her time and energy to bringing her grades up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got called for jury duty. I had been able to dodge it for the past 10 years or so, but this time they said I have to come. I’m self-employed, and I can’t afford to take off this time. How can I make clear my circumstances? -- No Jury Duty

DEAR NO JURY DUTY: I understand your sentiment. Virtually nobody wants to serve on jury duty. Yet it is an integral part of the democratic process. In order to have a trial with an outcome determined by a jury of your peers, peers have to agree to serve. I challenge you to change your thinking about this.

Go in on the required date that your summons indicates. Let the attendant know the parameters of your service. Typically, you have to be available at least three days. For many people, one day of service ends up being enough. You spend a lot of time sitting and waiting to be called to be interviewed by attorneys who determine if you are right for their case. Juries are usually made up of 6 or 12 jurors, so most people are not chosen. Make sure you let all appropriate parties know when you must work so that you aren’t chosen for a potentially long trial.

The good news is that once you’ve served, you won’t have to serve again for at least four years.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In response to parents needing to talk with teens about sexual misconduct, are you aware of Rev. Scott Phelps’ Abstinence and Marriage Program? It is a down-to-earth curriculum for seventh through 12th graders. Many Illinois schools use the program as part of their sex education classes.

Parents are not parenting very much, so the schools must step up and parent. -- Concerned Grandmother

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDMOTHER: Thank you for sharing this program, which can be found at ampartnership.org. I do think that it is important for young people to learn about how to honor their bodies. The younger they learn this, the better off they are.

While the notion of abstinence before marriage seems antiquated for many, I do believe it is important for young people to know that it is a wise choice that they should soberly consider. We no longer live in a culture that preaches abstinence to stay out of hell, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth seriously contemplating.

I talk to teenagers on a regular basis and know that peer pressure is powerful. Regarding sex, often they have not talked to their parents about their values. Sometimes parents try to pressure their teens into making the choices they deem correct without having full discussions with them that address their ideas as well. I believe that exposing our young people to the importance of valuing their bodies as sacred and protecting them as such is important. When they have the knowledge and the tools to give voice to their own beliefs, they have the potential to make choices that serve them even if those beliefs are different from their friends’.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)