DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have very different tastes in television programs. I like romance and drama. He watches shows about UFOs. It makes my skin crawl when he turns on shows about extraterrestrials and then lectures me about his beliefs -- backed up by these programs -- that aliens are living among us. I don’t believe it, but I also know that I can’t do anything about it, even if it is true.

How can I get him to watch some of my shows? I am tired of being forced to endure the shows he likes. It makes me really angry, and that’s no good for our relationship. -- No More Aliens

DEAR NO MORE ALIENS: Schedule together time and alone time. Let your husband know that you realize that you don’t share the same interests in TV programming. Rather than feeling that you are being held hostage watching and responding to something that irritates you, recommend that each of you enjoy alone time when you want to watch your separate TV shows. When you come together, consider turning off the TV and talking to each other or engaging in other activities that do not have the television as a distraction.

As far as watching something together, figure out what you both like and agree to watch that during those together moments.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just graduated from college this year, and I got a credit card for the first time. I was told that I have to build up credit in order to be able to buy property or even get an apartment. I can’t get a lease for my own place without proof that I have good credit. Nobody ever told me that before.

I don’t want to ask anybody for help. Plus, my parents really can’t afford it. They did tell me I can live with them until I get it together. I feel like a failure. I did very well in school, have almost no college debt and recently got a job, but it’s still not enough. What should I do? -- No Credit

DEAR NO CREDIT: It is true that you generally need to have established credit in order to be able to do many things, including renting or buying an apartment -- unless you can pay cash upfront for an extended period of time.

Take your parents up on their offer for you to live with them while you build your credit. Be disciplined about using your new credit card. You must use it, though. Each month, make some charges on your card, preferably using less than 30% of the total amount of credit. Always pay your bill on time. You can pay the total balance in full each month, either on time or early, or you can pay a portion of the bill on time. Either way will help build good credit. If you pay it off in full each month, your credit score will rise higher and you will not incur interest charges.

Sign up for a credit monitoring app, like Credit Karma, so that you can immediately access your credit score. A year’s worth of good credit plus some dollars in the bank should make you ready to get your own place.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I spent too much money on Christmas gifts, even though I promised myself that I would stick to a budget. Now I’m saddled with several thousand dollars’ worth of credit card bills exactly at the time when I wanted to be starting fresh financially. How can I change my habits given that I already messed up and the year is just starting? -- Becoming Debt-Free

DEAR BECOMING DEBT-FREE: Kudos to you for recognizing your folly. That is the first step to changing your behavior. Consider several options for clearing up your debt situation.

Since financial savvy is not your strong suit, get help. You may want to download a simple financial planning tracker app into which you log every penny you spend and why. You can get one that helps you to budget the resources that you have. For a listing of highly recommended apps, visit doughroller.net/budgeting/10-tablet-apps-that-manage-your-money.

For a small monthly fee, you can hire a bookkeeper to help you to get your affairs in order. Ask your friends or co-workers for recommendations. You can also find a financial adviser who will review all of your financial information and help you to get on course for a healthy financial future. The point is for you to get help from people who know more than you and who have the ability to help guide you to healthier behavior.

You may also want and need ongoing support. Consider joining Debtors Anonymous. Just like Alcoholics Anonymous, you can go to free meetings for people who are struggling to manage their money and who come together to talk about their concerns and help one another make smarter choices. To find a meeting near you, visit debtorsanonymous.org.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Like the person who wrote in about having chest pains and heart palpitations, I had the same symptoms for years, and no doctor could ever figure out what was wrong with me. Finally a cardiologist diagnosed my problem as microvascular angina, which is common in women. The small vessels around the heart constrict, giving the same symptoms as a heart attack. Medications are available to treat this condition.

I’d suggest your reader call a cardiologist. My life has been transformed. -- No More Heart Pain

DEAR NO MORE HEART PAIN: Thank you for sharing your story and how you were able to be helped by your cardiologist. One of the greatest accomplishments of modern medicine is doctors’ ability to diagnose a multitude of health conditions.

For people who have not figured out what’s wrong, don’t give up. Go to specialists until you find a doctor who can help you to determine what’s wrong and how to restore your health. It can be easy to give up when you reach a few dead ends. Hopefully, this reader’s story will help you to keep searching for answers.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents broke up when I was a little kid. At first my dad would come around once or twice a month to see us, but after a few years, he hardly ever showed up.

I am now an adult. I live and work on my own, and my life is pretty good. I am about to get married, and I want to reconcile with my dad. I want him to be at my wedding and to be a part of my new life. I have contacted him, and he says he will come.

When I told my mother, she was upset. She says he hasn’t been in my life for anything, including paying child support. She can’t believe I want to have anything to do with him. How can I get her to understand that this is important to me? -- Reconciliation

DEAR RECONCILIATION: Your mother has a point. Beyond your father’s failings during your youth, which are sizeable, there is also the question as to where he stands today and whether he is ready, willing or able to be part of your life now. Just because you want this doesn’t mean it is going to happen.

Before your wedding, request a meeting with your father to have a heart-to-heart talk. If you are able to meet with him, tell him you want to listen and understand why he wasn’t there for you as a child. Explain that you want nothing more than for him to be in your life now, but you need assurances that he wants to build a relationship with you, too. Give yourself time to meet with him on a few occasions so that you can get to know each other as adults.

Figure out if you even want to have your father in your new life. If so, talk to your mother and let her know what you have done to begin to build a rapport with him. Ask for her blessing for you to make this effort.

DEAR HARRIETTE: So many people keep dying around me. I’m getting depressed. The old people are understandable, even though it’s sad, but recently several people who are my age, mid-50s, have come down with all kinds of diseases and are dying. I know that people get ill at all ages, but it’s hard for me to watch my friends slip away. How can I deal with so much death and stay positive? -- Death Toll

DEAR DEATH TOLL: Start by getting a complete physical so that you have an assessment of your own health. If there are any concerns that you need to attend to, focus on them now.

Next, take a good look at your life and the people who are still living who matter to you. Be conscious and intentional as you make your list. Then reach out to one of them for a call; try to schedule a meal, a visit or some other engagement with someone every week. If you continue to think about your loved ones who are alive, you may be able to stay positive through these difficult times.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)