DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two sons who love to play video games more than just about anything. They are middle schoolers, but they rarely want to go out and socialize. They do connect online with other kids who plays these games. I suppose I should be happy that they aren’t out roaming the streets, but it is weird to me that they are so absorbed in their games. It doesn’t seem healthy. How can I get them to come up for air? -- Video Game Overdose

DEAR VIDEO GAME OVERDOSE: You can limit the time that your sons are allowed to use their electronics and schedule other activities that will occupy them. It is important to have other things for them to do so that they don’t feel like they are being punished when they are not allowed to play their games.

Find out what else excites them. Start with school subjects. Does anything pique their interest that may get them to want to go out and explore? What museums might be of interest to them? Sporting activities?

If you can’t think of anything that is attractive to them, include them in things that you enjoy. The point is that you should replace their game time with interactive face-to-face engagements.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There have been a couple of racist and anti-Semitic incidents at my son’s school recently, and it is disturbing to the whole student body, the faculty and the parents. But I don’t see much being done about it. At my son’s old school, the leadership hosted discussions with the students and parents that were led by experts. At this school, there have been forums for the students to talk to the leadership, but they were unproductive and led to more division.

I want to recommend that the principal hire one of those diversity and inclusion experts to help the school deal with some pretty serious issues. How can I do that and be heard? There are so many accusations flying right now that I don’t think anybody is actually listening. -- Voice of Authority

DEAR VOICE OF AUTHORITY: Do your research and identify organizations or individuals who are known as experts in the field. Make a list of several choices that offer specific services at different rates. Figure out who your allies are at the school. In a best-case scenario, you would have allies on all sides -- with the administration, the students and the parents. Form a small group, and ask them to work with you to help present your findings and recommendations to leadership.

Request a meeting with the school principal. Outline your concerns and your reasons for why professional help may be advisable. If you meet with the principal and your small coalition of supporters, you will have a chance to get them to consider your idea.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to visit my sister, who is single and retired. We talk on the phone a lot, but we haven’t spent time together for a couple of years. I was surprised to see how sedentary her life has become. Basically she sits around and watches TV all day. She looks at romantic movies back-to-back from the time she wakes up until late at night. The only time she looks at anything else is when she is watching political news.

I thought I was going to lose it for the week that I was with her. I tried to get her to take walks with me. I suggested that we go to the mall or to visit friends. Nada. She just gets up, showers, cooks a few food items and sits in her chair. I am worried about her. This is no way to live. How can I get her motivated to get up and move and engage with her friends? -- Motivate My Sister

DEAR MOTIVATE MY SISTER: You may not be able to motivate your sister, but it is worth it to keep trying. Get her a fitness watch that can connect to yours. Encourage her to take walks in her neighborhood at the same time that you take walks in yours. Show her how you can stay connected and stay active. Perhaps you can entice her by suggesting that you watch a movie and take a walk. If you do both together, she may get inspired to join you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At my job, we usually get bonuses at the end of the year. This year, I did not get a bonus. We did have a modest holiday party, but that was it -- at least for me.

I have worked at this job for more than 10 years. I don’t know what happened. The big boss didn’t say anything about us not getting bonuses, but I surely didn’t get anything. I am afraid to ask my co-workers in case I’m the only one. But I wonder what happened. Should I ask my boss? -- No Bonus

DEAR NO BONUS: It’s worth it to ask your boss, privately, about bonuses and what happened. It’s unfortunate that nothing was said to the group, given that it has been common practice for the company to give bonuses. Talk to your boss to find out what happened. Ask the questions that you want answered, including whether anyone else got a bonus and whether the company is financially healthy. � It is important for you to learn what happened for several reasons, including getting a sense of how you are regarded in the company in relation to your peers -- especially if others received bonuses and you didn’t. If nobody received a bonus, that could be a sign that your company is in trouble, in which case you might want to start looking for a job.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a puppy. I’m happy about it, but at the same time, I feel bad. I am in school, and I work almost every day. My puppy ends up staying in a kennel for 10 to 12 hours a day while I’m away. When I get home, he is so happy to see me. I spend some time with him, but I’m so tired I don’t really have the energy to play. Plus, I often go out at night. I’m 20 years old, and I have an active social life. I feel like I got my puppy before I was ready to accept responsibility for it.

My mom puppy-sits sometimes, and she offered to adopt my puppy the other day. She can see how he needs more attention than I have to give. I feel bad about this, but maybe it is best for the puppy to be in an environment that is more attentive. How can I feel better about making this tough decision? -- Adopt a Dog

DEAR ADOPT A DOG: Here’s a time when you should be filled with gratitude that you have a mother who is willing and able to take your puppy. As you are seeing, taking care of a puppy is a huge responsibility. Dogs are social creatures and do not enjoy being left alone all day and night. It’s not good for their psyches or their bodies. Just like people, they need to relieve themselves during the day.

Thank your mother for rescuing you and your puppy. Offer to help her in whatever ways you can. That may include helping to pay for dog food, coming by to visit the puppy and generally staying in contact with the dog.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to a couple of black-tie events this season. When I dug out my dresses, I realized that most of my eveningwear is way too small. I don’t want to hold on to these dresses in hopes that they will fit next year because I seriously doubt that I will lose enough weight for that to happen. I also don’t want to toss them. I know a woman who may fit them perfectly. She is in one of my social clubs. Do you think it would be rude of me to offer for her to look at them and pay me a small fee if she wants to have them? One dress still has tags on it. I would charge only a small amount, but it would help me to be able to replace the ones that don’t fit. -- Sell Off

DEAR SELL OFF: You are smart to want to get rid of the dresses that you aren’t wearing and that do not fit. Making room in your closet for what fits you now is smart. There’s nothing wrong with selling them at a nominal price, either. Just know that this woman may not be interested. Be direct with her. Let her know that you thought of her as you pulled out these dresses and would like her to take a look. If she’s interested, let her know what you will charge as well as what the value of the dresses is.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)