DEAR HARRIETTE: My family went out to dinner with friends of ours who were in town visiting. There were five of them and three of us, and the restaurant was kind of expensive. When it came time to pay the bill, it was a little awkward. Normally we would just split the bill, but the number of people in each party was so different. When I thought about it, though, I was OK with splitting it because we had drinks and the others drank water. (Alcoholic beverages always hike up the bill.)

Our visitors ended up doing a partial split, where they paid a lot more than us. I guess it worked out, but I don’t know if I handled it as well as I should have. What is the best way to handle a situation like that? -- Splitting the Bill

DEAR SPLITTING THE BILL: Whenever there is a group and people need to split the check, there can be an awkward moment.

The easiest thing to do is to take a quick glance at the check to get a sense of what you owe. If your portion is significantly smaller than the others’, you can offer to pay for your group plus a hearty tip and give the rest to the other people who are paying. You could also simply split it evenly (if you can afford to do so) -- but that is not necessary. People go into situations like that knowing who they want to pay for. If you are upfront about what you plan to do and quickly and proactively make it known what your intentions are for settling the check, chances are, the others will follow suit.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I always give a tip to the staff in my apartment building in the new year. I started this several years ago, when money was so tight that I couldn’t afford to give them money and buy gifts for my friends. Now it is just what I do. I noticed that one of the new guys has been looking at me kind of funny, and I think it’s because he didn’t get his tip from me yet. I plan to give out cards next week, but his attitude makes me want to skip him. It is not a requirement to tip, even though it is expected. Should I leave him out of my new year’s gifts, or just get over it? -- Ready To Gift

DEAR READY TO GIFT: Even though this new staffer has a bad attitude, don’t let it sour your good humor. You know what your plan is. Include him in your building’s tips. If there are certain people who have a more difficult role in your building or who you are closer to, by all means tip them more generously. For this newbie, a basic tip is fine to show that you are thinking of him. He can earn a higher tip if he steps up and has a better attitude in the new year.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have worked with the same accountant for more than 20 years. He is a good man who has always helped me with the finances. In recent years, I have noticed that he is slowing down a lot. He is an older guy. I wonder if I should be looking for someone to fill his shoes. I worry that without this support, I will be in trouble. I don’t want to upset him, though. Should I talk to him about it? I’m not quite sure what to do. -- Time To Move On

DEAR TIME TO MOVE ON: Does your accountant have any support in his office? Check in with him and ask him what he plans to do with his clients when he retires. Hopefully he has a succession plan in mind. It’s OK to ask him about it.

For now, since you know that he is moving more slowly, you should get your taxes to him as early as possible so that he is not backlogged when he is working on yours. If he has recommendations for who will take over in the future, that’s great. If not, you should ask your friends for referrals. Tell them what you like about your accountant, and ask if they know anyone with similar skills and demeanor.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband went into my son’s bedroom to vacuum, and as he was moving things around, he found a box filled with vape pens. This is the second time we have discovered him with these pens in his possession.

The last time we caught him, we confronted him about how dangerous it is to use these things. Several people have died from using them. We know teenagers try things, but this is a health hazard. My husband suggested that we not mention that he found them, because it might just make him hide his contraband more carefully in the future. I get that, but I think we need to address this. I don’t know what I would do if my son got sick -- or worse -- and we didn’t say anything. What do you think? -- No More Vaping

DEAR NO MORE VAPING: Your husband has a point. Perhaps you shouldn’t give away the fact that the pens were discovered. You can still talk to your son about the perils of vaping. Since you know that he did it in the past, revisit the topic with him. Ask him if he still vapes. Remind him of the consequences of doing this. Tell him you know he is a teen and will try things, but this one really is not worth it. Reinforce how you feel about other substances so that he is clear about your perspective.

If you can get your son to talk to you about what he has tried, that would be fantastic. Some teens talk to their parents. It might help if you share a few things that you tried as a teen and what impact they had on you. If you go that route, you have to be honest. Just make sure you have processed whatever lesson you learned so that you can tell a full story that will reinforce positive behavior for your son.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family takes a lot of driving trips to visit family and friends, even when we are going on vacation. It is the most affordable way for a family of five to get around. Where we run into trouble is that each of us likes different music. Our musical tastes could not be more different. So what happens is that there is an ongoing battle as to whose music gets played. When we are driving for five or more hours, this can be stressful. Do you have a recommendation on how to handle this? -- My Turn

DEAR MY TURN: This is a classic challenge for driving trips. The goal should be to play an assortment of music so that everybody will be happy by the time the trip has ended. Most important is to ensure that the driver is alert, so whoever is driving should have first dibs on the musical selections, especially when he or she is getting weary. Beyond that, you can map out the trip and divide up the time so that each person’s music plays for a while. You could invite a family member to create a playlist featuring a curated selection of everyone’s music mixed together.

If you have small children in the car, select times to play their music when you imagine they might be cranky. If you pay attention to everyone and what stimulates them to be friendly and engaged in the car, you can create an inspired environment.

You may also want to introduce games that get everyone talking and staying alert. My family sometimes plays the A-to-Z game, where we look for the letters of the alphabet in order on license plates, billboards and other signage. We call out when we see a letter and then we hunt for the next one. It keeps the whole car engaged.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine looks like he is extremely ill. He has lost tons of weight and is not doing well. When I have asked him what’s going on, he says some vague things, but nothing matches what’s happening to his body. I am so worried about him. His wife is in the dark as well. She says he keeps everything to himself. This makes it hard to know how to help him. She is at her wit’s end. Same for the close friends who have seen him. Is there anything I can do to help my friend who is holding everything so close to the vest? -- A Friend in Need

DEAR A FRIEND IN NEED: You cannot force your friend to disclose what is going on with him. What you can do is stay in close touch. Since his wife is also unaware of what’s going on with him, she needs as much support as possible. Call her regularly and invite her to join you for tea or coffee. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open so that if there is a need, it will be easy for them to reach out to you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)