DEAR HARRIETTE: I have worked with the same accountant for more than 20 years. He is a good man who has always helped me with the finances. In recent years, I have noticed that he is slowing down a lot. He is an older guy. I wonder if I should be looking for someone to fill his shoes. I worry that without this support, I will be in trouble. I don’t want to upset him, though. Should I talk to him about it? I’m not quite sure what to do. -- Time To Move On

DEAR TIME TO MOVE ON: Does your accountant have any support in his office? Check in with him and ask him what he plans to do with his clients when he retires. Hopefully he has a succession plan in mind. It’s OK to ask him about it.

For now, since you know that he is moving more slowly, you should get your taxes to him as early as possible so that he is not backlogged when he is working on yours. If he has recommendations for who will take over in the future, that’s great. If not, you should ask your friends for referrals. Tell them what you like about your accountant, and ask if they know anyone with similar skills and demeanor.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband went into my son’s bedroom to vacuum, and as he was moving things around, he found a box filled with vape pens. This is the second time we have discovered him with these pens in his possession.

The last time we caught him, we confronted him about how dangerous it is to use these things. Several people have died from using them. We know teenagers try things, but this is a health hazard. My husband suggested that we not mention that he found them, because it might just make him hide his contraband more carefully in the future. I get that, but I think we need to address this. I don’t know what I would do if my son got sick -- or worse -- and we didn’t say anything. What do you think? -- No More Vaping

DEAR NO MORE VAPING: Your husband has a point. Perhaps you shouldn’t give away the fact that the pens were discovered. You can still talk to your son about the perils of vaping. Since you know that he did it in the past, revisit the topic with him. Ask him if he still vapes. Remind him of the consequences of doing this. Tell him you know he is a teen and will try things, but this one really is not worth it. Reinforce how you feel about other substances so that he is clear about your perspective.

If you can get your son to talk to you about what he has tried, that would be fantastic. Some teens talk to their parents. It might help if you share a few things that you tried as a teen and what impact they had on you. If you go that route, you have to be honest. Just make sure you have processed whatever lesson you learned so that you can tell a full story that will reinforce positive behavior for your son.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family takes a lot of driving trips to visit family and friends, even when we are going on vacation. It is the most affordable way for a family of five to get around. Where we run into trouble is that each of us likes different music. Our musical tastes could not be more different. So what happens is that there is an ongoing battle as to whose music gets played. When we are driving for five or more hours, this can be stressful. Do you have a recommendation on how to handle this? -- My Turn

DEAR MY TURN: This is a classic challenge for driving trips. The goal should be to play an assortment of music so that everybody will be happy by the time the trip has ended. Most important is to ensure that the driver is alert, so whoever is driving should have first dibs on the musical selections, especially when he or she is getting weary. Beyond that, you can map out the trip and divide up the time so that each person’s music plays for a while. You could invite a family member to create a playlist featuring a curated selection of everyone’s music mixed together.

If you have small children in the car, select times to play their music when you imagine they might be cranky. If you pay attention to everyone and what stimulates them to be friendly and engaged in the car, you can create an inspired environment.

You may also want to introduce games that get everyone talking and staying alert. My family sometimes plays the A-to-Z game, where we look for the letters of the alphabet in order on license plates, billboards and other signage. We call out when we see a letter and then we hunt for the next one. It keeps the whole car engaged.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine looks like he is extremely ill. He has lost tons of weight and is not doing well. When I have asked him what’s going on, he says some vague things, but nothing matches what’s happening to his body. I am so worried about him. His wife is in the dark as well. She says he keeps everything to himself. This makes it hard to know how to help him. She is at her wit’s end. Same for the close friends who have seen him. Is there anything I can do to help my friend who is holding everything so close to the vest? -- A Friend in Need

DEAR A FRIEND IN NEED: You cannot force your friend to disclose what is going on with him. What you can do is stay in close touch. Since his wife is also unaware of what’s going on with him, she needs as much support as possible. Call her regularly and invite her to join you for tea or coffee. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open so that if there is a need, it will be easy for them to reach out to you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Somehow I am connected to a young man on social media, and he is constantly sending me messages and tagging me on his various posts. At first, it didn’t bother me, but now I find it annoying. Also, because he tags me and a host of other people on these posts, I now get communications from some of them -- more people I don’t know. How can I get him to stop? I don’t want to unfriend him, but I’m thinking that’s what I need to do. I may also need to block him. Is that rude of me? I need to do something. -- Over Connected

DEAR OVER CONNECTED: You can start by sending him a direct message on whatever social media platform you two share. Ask him to stop including you in the posts where he tags lots of people. Explain that you have limited engagement on social media, and you do not want to be exposed to a broader group of people. You can add that you know he is active on social media, but you would appreciate receiving messages only every now and then, as you feel overwhelmed by the volume of messages that he sends you. If he continues to include you on the blasts, you should feel no qualms about blocking him.

One of the unwritten rules of social media is honoring people’s requests. If this man is unwilling to respect your preferred level of engagement, he doesn’t deserve to have access to you. You can unfollow him and block him and call it a day.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost my job just before Christmas, but I decided not to tell anyone because I didn’t want them to be worried around the holidays. I feel like I need to say something, though, because I am finding it hard to get a job, and my family relies on me to handle the bills.

My wife is going to be so disappointed. How can I break it to her so that she still respects me? I have always been able to take care of the family, but I am worried that she may need to go back to work for a while. -- Out of Work

DEAR OUT OF WORK: Your wife will appreciate your honesty, even as it means that you are facing lean times right now. You must work as a team to manage during this difficult period. This includes cutting back dramatically on all expenses. As you look for a job, it may also mean that she has to do so as well.

Talk it out with her so that you assess together where you are and where you need to be headed. If you can agree on a plan, it will help to shore up your emotions and help your wife to feel more confident, too, since she will be part of the solution. Allow this rough patch to bring the two of you closer.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)