DEAR HARRIETTE: My family takes a lot of driving trips to visit family and friends, even when we are going on vacation. It is the most affordable way for a family of five to get around. Where we run into trouble is that each of us likes different music. Our musical tastes could not be more different. So what happens is that there is an ongoing battle as to whose music gets played. When we are driving for five or more hours, this can be stressful. Do you have a recommendation on how to handle this? -- My Turn

DEAR MY TURN: This is a classic challenge for driving trips. The goal should be to play an assortment of music so that everybody will be happy by the time the trip has ended. Most important is to ensure that the driver is alert, so whoever is driving should have first dibs on the musical selections, especially when he or she is getting weary. Beyond that, you can map out the trip and divide up the time so that each person’s music plays for a while. You could invite a family member to create a playlist featuring a curated selection of everyone’s music mixed together.

If you have small children in the car, select times to play their music when you imagine they might be cranky. If you pay attention to everyone and what stimulates them to be friendly and engaged in the car, you can create an inspired environment.

You may also want to introduce games that get everyone talking and staying alert. My family sometimes plays the A-to-Z game, where we look for the letters of the alphabet in order on license plates, billboards and other signage. We call out when we see a letter and then we hunt for the next one. It keeps the whole car engaged.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine looks like he is extremely ill. He has lost tons of weight and is not doing well. When I have asked him what’s going on, he says some vague things, but nothing matches what’s happening to his body. I am so worried about him. His wife is in the dark as well. She says he keeps everything to himself. This makes it hard to know how to help him. She is at her wit’s end. Same for the close friends who have seen him. Is there anything I can do to help my friend who is holding everything so close to the vest? -- A Friend in Need

DEAR A FRIEND IN NEED: You cannot force your friend to disclose what is going on with him. What you can do is stay in close touch. Since his wife is also unaware of what’s going on with him, she needs as much support as possible. Call her regularly and invite her to join you for tea or coffee. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open so that if there is a need, it will be easy for them to reach out to you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Somehow I am connected to a young man on social media, and he is constantly sending me messages and tagging me on his various posts. At first, it didn’t bother me, but now I find it annoying. Also, because he tags me and a host of other people on these posts, I now get communications from some of them -- more people I don’t know. How can I get him to stop? I don’t want to unfriend him, but I’m thinking that’s what I need to do. I may also need to block him. Is that rude of me? I need to do something. -- Over Connected

DEAR OVER CONNECTED: You can start by sending him a direct message on whatever social media platform you two share. Ask him to stop including you in the posts where he tags lots of people. Explain that you have limited engagement on social media, and you do not want to be exposed to a broader group of people. You can add that you know he is active on social media, but you would appreciate receiving messages only every now and then, as you feel overwhelmed by the volume of messages that he sends you. If he continues to include you on the blasts, you should feel no qualms about blocking him.

One of the unwritten rules of social media is honoring people’s requests. If this man is unwilling to respect your preferred level of engagement, he doesn’t deserve to have access to you. You can unfollow him and block him and call it a day.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost my job just before Christmas, but I decided not to tell anyone because I didn’t want them to be worried around the holidays. I feel like I need to say something, though, because I am finding it hard to get a job, and my family relies on me to handle the bills.

My wife is going to be so disappointed. How can I break it to her so that she still respects me? I have always been able to take care of the family, but I am worried that she may need to go back to work for a while. -- Out of Work

DEAR OUT OF WORK: Your wife will appreciate your honesty, even as it means that you are facing lean times right now. You must work as a team to manage during this difficult period. This includes cutting back dramatically on all expenses. As you look for a job, it may also mean that she has to do so as well.

Talk it out with her so that you assess together where you are and where you need to be headed. If you can agree on a plan, it will help to shore up your emotions and help your wife to feel more confident, too, since she will be part of the solution. Allow this rough patch to bring the two of you closer.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have at least three sizes of clothes in my closet that represent the range of weights that I have carried over the years. My weight has gone up and down, which is why I have kept some of the clothes. But now it’s getting ridiculous. I don’t have room for the clothes that fit and that I want to wear because of the closets full of clothes that fit a smaller me. I’m worried that if I do eventually lose, I won’t have clothing to fit my smaller body. Should I hold on to some of the smaller ones? -- Outdated Wardrobe

DEAR OUTDATED WARDROBE: If you were to take a poll of women in your family, neighborhood, social clubs, house of worship -- anywhere -- chances are, you would find many women who have nearly identical stories. Closets swelling with clothes that don’t fit is a common scenario. And yet, it usually means that people are hoarding these belongings with the hope that one day they will be able to wear them again, though that day rarely comes.

You should go through your clothes, and anything that you have not worn in the past year or so should be tossed. You can give the clothing to friends and family, charity or elsewhere, but get it out of your house. If you want to hold on to one or two treasured items, go for it. But the lion’s share of items should leave your home. This will free up your space for you to live in the moment, without clutter. If and when the day arrives that you do lose weight, you will want something new to wear anyway!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I am the only one in my home who does the chores. My husband comes home and says he’s tired. My children have jobs that they are supposed to do each week, but homework often preempts their duties. They come crying saying how sorry they are that they didn’t get something done and then point to studying for a test or something else that got in the way. But then, it’s the weekend or there’s a game at school, and they are quick to want to hang out with their friends.

How can I get my family to take it seriously that all of us have to take care of our home? I work, too, but I end up cleaning up during most of the hours that I am at home. -- Help at Home

DEAR HELP AT HOME: Ideally, you should corral your husband first in your effort to have full family support in doing housework. Talk to him about your concerns, and ask him to work with you to engage the whole family and get the work done in an organized way.

Make a list of duties for each person for the week. Post the list. Then call a family meeting and present the refreshed cleaning schedule. Acknowledge that homework is important and has to be done, but everyone must complete his or her tasks in order to have the privilege of hanging out with friends. Then you have to reinforce this rule. If your kids shirk their duties, do not let them go out or play video games or do whatever other distraction they enjoy. Consequences help to encourage good behavior.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)