DEAR HARRIETTE: I have at least three sizes of clothes in my closet that represent the range of weights that I have carried over the years. My weight has gone up and down, which is why I have kept some of the clothes. But now it’s getting ridiculous. I don’t have room for the clothes that fit and that I want to wear because of the closets full of clothes that fit a smaller me. I’m worried that if I do eventually lose, I won’t have clothing to fit my smaller body. Should I hold on to some of the smaller ones? -- Outdated Wardrobe

DEAR OUTDATED WARDROBE: If you were to take a poll of women in your family, neighborhood, social clubs, house of worship -- anywhere -- chances are, you would find many women who have nearly identical stories. Closets swelling with clothes that don’t fit is a common scenario. And yet, it usually means that people are hoarding these belongings with the hope that one day they will be able to wear them again, though that day rarely comes.

You should go through your clothes, and anything that you have not worn in the past year or so should be tossed. You can give the clothing to friends and family, charity or elsewhere, but get it out of your house. If you want to hold on to one or two treasured items, go for it. But the lion’s share of items should leave your home. This will free up your space for you to live in the moment, without clutter. If and when the day arrives that you do lose weight, you will want something new to wear anyway!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I am the only one in my home who does the chores. My husband comes home and says he’s tired. My children have jobs that they are supposed to do each week, but homework often preempts their duties. They come crying saying how sorry they are that they didn’t get something done and then point to studying for a test or something else that got in the way. But then, it’s the weekend or there’s a game at school, and they are quick to want to hang out with their friends.

How can I get my family to take it seriously that all of us have to take care of our home? I work, too, but I end up cleaning up during most of the hours that I am at home. -- Help at Home

DEAR HELP AT HOME: Ideally, you should corral your husband first in your effort to have full family support in doing housework. Talk to him about your concerns, and ask him to work with you to engage the whole family and get the work done in an organized way.

Make a list of duties for each person for the week. Post the list. Then call a family meeting and present the refreshed cleaning schedule. Acknowledge that homework is important and has to be done, but everyone must complete his or her tasks in order to have the privilege of hanging out with friends. Then you have to reinforce this rule. If your kids shirk their duties, do not let them go out or play video games or do whatever other distraction they enjoy. Consequences help to encourage good behavior.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who has no boundaries. She regularly calls me late in the evening and on weekends. I have made the mistake of answering; I work freelance and do want to be available to my clients, but she takes it too far. It’s almost never urgent when she calls. I think she’s catching up on work and checking off boxes when she gets to something she thinks she needs to address with me.

Is it OK to let her calls go to voicemail when they come during my off hours? I don’t want to lose my client, but this random calling is getting ridiculous. -- After-Hours Calls

DEAR AFTER-HOURS CALLS: You have every right to allow this client’s calls go to voicemail when she calls you at random hours of the day. That doesn’t mean that you are an inattentive worker; it can simply mean that you are otherwise occupied. It is smart to listen to her messages in a timely manner so that you can discern whether the matter at hand requires an immediate response. If it does, call her back. If it is not so urgent, you can talk to her about the subject the next time you have a call, or you can email her with whatever resolution the call is requesting.

You have control over yourself. Don’t ever forget that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I received an electronic request to write a recommendation for a man who used to work with me. Generally speaking, I am happy to help people out with recommendations, but this one is awkward. Even though it was many years ago, I thought this man did a terrible job when he worked with me. He was usually late for work. He often had a bad attitude. Most of all, he wasn’t good at his job.

He was young then, so I can assume that he has improved. But I don’t want to respond and give him a bad review. I don’t know how to reach him. I think it might be best for me to ignore the request. What do you think? -- Bad Recommendation

DEAR BAD RECOMMENDATION: This is curious. It could be that nobody else is willing to write this person a recommendation, and that’s why he resorted to you. It could be that this person does not realize how poorly you felt his work performance was. Who knows?

If you believe that your “recommendation” would be critical of this man in order for you to be honest, I would agree that you should just not complete the form. Because the whole process is electronic, you may be able to decline online without seeing or talking to anyone so that you formally close the loop. Otherwise, you can just not do it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have pale skin that has begun to wrinkle, even though I’m barely 40. I already know from looking at my mother that I am destined to look like an old woman well before my time. Some of my friends have been getting collagen injections and Botox to smooth out their wrinkles. One of my colleagues went a step further and had plastic surgery. I don’t know what I should do, but I’m not ready to accept that I’m beginning to look like my grandmother. What do you recommend? -- Smooth Skin

DEAR SMOOTH SKIN: Go to a dermatologist and get a professional evaluation of your skin. Learn what you can do to keep your skin moisturized and supple. Find out if a cleansing routine that includes SPF will help. That requires no invasive treatment.

Ask about the levels of support that are available, from collagen and Botox all the way to plastic surgery. Talk about the pros and cons of each therapy, and get professional advice on what is recommended for your skin. Be sure to go to a dermatologist who is highly trained and respected.

If plastic surgery is an option, be sure to research a reputable doctor. Look at photos of patients the doctor has worked with so that you can figure out who is right for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who loves me a lot but talks to me in a harsh way. I find that when I am feeling vulnerable or upset about something, I cannot talk to her for fear that I will start crying. She doesn’t know how to be gentle. I don’t think she intends to be mean, but sometimes it seems like that.

I really do appreciate her support. She often has great ideas, but it’s hard for me to accept them when she comes across as so judgmental. Is there anything I can say to her to get her to soften her words? -- Sharp Tongue

DEAR SHARP TONGUE: On a day when you feel strong and clear, contact your friend and tell her you need to talk to her about something. Then, tell your friend that you love her and you know she loves you, but it hurts your feelings when she is harsh or judgmental when you are in a vulnerable space. Be prepared with specific examples of her engaging you in sharp ways so that you can illustrate your concerns. Tell her that sometimes you need her to just be kind and to bite her tongue rather than laying into you about whatever is going on.

Chances are, she won’t be aware of how abrupt she seems. That’s why you should give her a couple of examples so that she can understand what you are talking about. Describe a scenario, including what was happening, how you were feeling and how she engaged with you. Then tell her how you felt and what you would have preferred. Ask her if she understands.

Ultimately, you may not want to talk to her when you are feeling emotional or vulnerable in some way, as you are asking her to be different than she is. That may not work, and you will end up with hurt feelings.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)