DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who owes me a substantial amount of money, and I have been waiting for nearly five months for the check to come through. It’s crazy. Ninety days is standard for this company, but it’s almost double that now. When I asked about the payment about two months ago, I was assured that it would be paid in a matter of days. I don’t want to be annoying, but I do want my money. How should I proceed? I want to keep them as clients, so I need to tread lightly. -- Time To Pay up

DEAR TIME TO PAY UP: You have every right to follow up about your payment. Point out that you are now in a new year, and you had hoped to be up to date before now. Speak to your contact person and ask what the holdup is and whether you can physically come in to retrieve your check. If they pay electronically, ask to have the money transferred immediately. Press to learn when you can expect your payment. You can be firm without being rude. It is your money, and you deserve to have it. Let your client know that you have been patient, but you need this invoice to be paid. If you still get no response, you may have to go directly to accounts payable. Small claims court is a worst-case scenario.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is in high school. He is mainly a good student, but he struggles in a couple of classes. He comes home frustrated by certain lessons, including his inability to understand some of the things that one teacher is sharing. I have suggested that he request private time with the teacher to review his questions, but he says that doesn’t help. We had a meeting with his adviser to try to get some help, but he is still struggling.

Should I write to the principal or complain to the teacher? It is important for my son to pass these classes and to learn the material. I want to advocate for him, but I realize he is a teenager and should be speaking up for himself. -- When to Step in

DEAR WHEN TO STEP IN: Ideally, you should coach your son to be proactive. He needs to learn how to advocate for himself. But when he does not do so, you should step in and be his cheerleader. Ask him what he is doing to get the support he needs. Recommend that he meet with the teacher. Find out if he completes that loop. Ask him to speak to his adviser for guidance.

If none of these things work, then schedule a meeting with the teacher first, followed by the adviser and principal with your son, where you talk about his challenges and ask for support. If nothing works internally, consider hiring a tutor to help your son strengthen his understanding of the subject matter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going to a lot of holiday parties and end-of-year events in the past few weeks. It has been a lot of fun -- until I see myself in photos. I don’t usually take pictures, but I have seen photos of me that have been posted on different people’s social media pages, and I hate how I look. I have no misconceptions about myself as a middle-aged person, but I feel like people pick shots where they look good and they don’t care about how the other people look. I hate that.

What can I do to take a better picture, considering that I do want to go out and mingle, but I don’t want the memories to look crazy? -- Picture Perfect

DEAR PICTURE PERFECT: Before you leave your house, look at yourself in the mirror, head to toe, front to back, and side view. Do you like what you see? Are your clothes fitting well? Is your hair neat? Are you well-groomed? Choose clothing that skims the body, adding definition without being too tight.

When someone is taking a photo, pay attention to where you are in the shot. Make yourself as flat in the image as you can, meaning stand facing the camera without too much twisting of your body. Stand up straight, shoulders back, tummy in, bottom tucked under. Keep your arms down. Do not have food or drinks in your hands. Smile. Call upon your inner joy. When you are in a good mood, that is usually reflected in a photo.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor has a young child who cries a lot. I know that it must be hard to raise a child, but it seems like the mom is exercising tough love or something, because when the baby cries, it doesn’t sound like she comforts him. He can cry for hours. It drives me nuts. As a single man, I don’t want to seem insensitive, but this crying is keeping me awake at night. Is there anything I can say to this new mom? What else can I do to keep my sanity? -- Crying Baby

DEAR CRYING BABY: I would not knock on the neighbor’s door to complain about the baby as it will not result in a positive exchange. That mother is stressed out enough. Her child may have colic, which makes them irritable for extended periods. There may be other reasons, including the method the mom uses to comfort her child. Unless it sounds like the baby is in danger, you have to figure out how to deal with the cries on your side of the wall.

You can put rugs in the room that has the adjoining wall. Rugs absorb sound. You might consider getting a noise cancellation machine. It’s like a fan but it creates a sound that helps to soften ambient noises. Or just wear earplugs.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend my mother calls “sometime-y.” When he is interested, he is very attentive; when he is distracted, he could not care less. I have sent him texts with friendly messages and photos to lift him up during a tough period. Not once has he responded that he received even one communication. I get that I shouldn’t be upset because he is going through a rough patch, but this isn’t new behavior. Even during so-called good times, he disappears and doesn’t engage in what I consider to be a thoughtful way. It’s like he takes and takes, but only gives when he feels like it. I’m not sure how to react. I am tired of putting forth effort without even the tiniest acknowledgment. Do you have any ideas? -- Rude Friend

DEAR RUDE FRIEND: You have to decide when you have had enough. Your friend has shown you his colors. Now what are you going to do about it? Continuing to allow him to hurt your feelings because he doesn’t ever respond to you gets old fast. You need to accept this friend for who he is, as he is not going to change. But your behavior can change. If it hurts your feelings when he doesn’t close the loop in your communication, stop communicating with him.

Let go of whatever hold this man has over you. Focus on relationships with people who treat you the way you want to be treated. When you stop obsessing over him, he may come around, but don’t hold your breath. Move on!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating a woman for several years now. Though it wasn’t formal, we even said we were engaged. I just hadn’t gotten her a ring yet. I have been in between work for longer than I want to admit, and it has been impossible for me to buy her a ring or plan a wedding.

I thought she understood, but recently we have gotten into some ugly arguments about our relationship. When I try to talk to her about it, she clams up. I suggested that we go to counseling. She said OK, but then she started going by herself. A month ago, she stopped returning my calls, and she doesn’t respond to me on social media. Nothing. I am devastated. I don’t understand how we could go from about to get married to invisibility. I was already down. This has sent me over the edge. How can I recover? How can I get her to talk to me? -- Ghosted by Girlfriend

DEAR GHOSTED BY GIRLFRIEND: I’m so sorry that your fiancee has decided to walk away from you. That has to be devastating. Unfortunately, sometimes we don’t get explanations for people’s behavior, even that of our beloved. You should go ahead and find a therapist who can help you process these experiences and figure out a way to heal your heart. You cannot make your ex want to be with you. You can learn how to tend to yourself, build your confidence and actively search for a job. You need to get emotionally strong in order to be attractive to potential employers, so focus on your future right now. Your heart will heal in time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)