DEAR HARRIETTE: I was talking to a colleague, and we were bragging about our children -- something that many parents do for small talk. I was saying something upbeat about my daughter when she revealed that her daughter was having a difficult childhood in part because she and her husband were going through a nasty divorce during that time. I listened and stopped talking about my life, which sounded idyllic in comparison.

What should you do when you discover that somebody you are talking to has suffered a lot more than you or your family? I wasn’t competing with this woman about our children, but it ended up feeling uncomfortable since her story was so heavy. What do you do in an awkward situation like that? -- Making Comparisons

DEAR MAKING COMPARISONS: In the natural course of conversation, you are bound to learn things about the people with whom you are speaking. Sometimes that information will be more intense, or emotional, or otherwise difficult than yours. That’s fine.

If you are paying attention, then you should read the moment. In some instances, like the one you described, you may want to give the person space to tell her story. In other instances, if the conversation gets too heavy, you may want to change the subject, not necessarily to your family but to some neutral ground where you and the person and others who may be in earshot can get back to a more stable base.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has grown several inches since last winter, and he doesn’t fit into any of his clothes. We are a working-class family, and we just can’t afford to buy the clothes and shoes that he needs for the winter. We have tried to keep up with his growth spurts, but it’s not working. It is getting cold, and I am worried about how to take care of him. I also don’t want him to be embarrassed because his pants are short. It’s hard enough being a teenager. When your clothes don’t fit, it is awful. How can I talk to him about this so that he will be OK? -- Outgrown

DEAR OUTGROWN: You can talk to your son about what is natural for growing children and teens, namely that sometimes your clothes may not fit perfectly because it can be hard to keep up with the growth spurts. That’s real. But also, you don’t have to give up just yet. Check to see if there is a Salvation Army or Goodwill in your town. These organizations sell gently used clothes for low prices. Chances are, you can find clothing and shoes to fit him at an affordable price. Check with local churches, too. Some of them give away clothing -- including everything from coats to shoes and accessories -- for free.

You and your son need have no bad feelings about wearing gently used clothing. This is one way that we can practice sustainability for our planet by recycling existing clothing. Because so many people give to these organizations, you will often find excellent choices that will make your son feel comfortable.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a cheapskate. He does not like to spend money on anything extra -- especially clothes. For this reason, he has been wearing the same clothes for years. Normally that doesn’t matter, but we have a couple of big events to attend, and he does not have the proper clothing to wear to them. He needs a suit. The last time we bought one was probably 10 years ago, which is way more than 10 pounds ago. He tried on his suit recently, and he couldn’t button the jacket. The whole thing was way too small. When I said something about it, he just scoffed. He cannot go to my work function wearing a suit that is so ill-fitting.

How can I convince my husband that investing in one suit will be valuable for our future? He works with his hands, and his work clothes are jeans and a dirty T-shirt. I have a professional job, and I have to wear a suit or a dress. -- Opening His Eyes

DEAR OPENING HIS EYES: Remind your husband that it is helpful to you and your life as a family if he is willing to dress up in a suit every now and then and go with you to business functions. Point out that rarely do you ask him to do this, but make it clear that his participation counts for a lot. Tell him that you would very much like to select a suit for him that will be comfortable and look perfect. If he is unwilling to go to the store, do your best to figure out his size and purchase two different sizes for him. Have him try on each suit, and return the one that doesn’t fit.

Since he doesn’t often go with you to these types of functions, remind him of the expectations so that he can feel comfortable and at ease. Express your appreciation that he is willing to support you and your family in this way. Do not take for granted that he will comply. When and if he does, be obvious with your gratitude so that he has no doubts about your sincerity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new boyfriend who is a lot of fun. He enjoys taking me out to dinner, movies and other social activities. I like spending time with him doing these things, but I also like my quiet time. I am a reader, and I like to carve out time every day to read a little bit. He, on the other hand, does not read at all. He watches cable news and reads a bit of online news, but that’s it. He doesn’t have patience for my reading. He doesn’t like to sit still for too long. When I curl up with a book, he is ready to leave. I don’t intend to stop being a reader. How do you suggest we work through this difference in behavior? -- Not a Reader

DEAR NOT A READER: Your boyfriend’s lack of interest in reading does not have to be a deal breaker. You do enjoy many activities together. Perhaps you can designate a certain period of time as “private time,” during which you can read or do whatever else you may like while he finds what he would like to do alone. Agree with him that your reading time is important and you are happy to give him space for his own activities.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is at a new school this year, and he has asked for a fancy computer for Christmas so that he can have the same one as his friends. I checked with his instructors, and I know that the computer he has is sufficient for him to complete his work. But peer pressure is real, and he says he only wants one thing for Christmas -- and this is it.

I get that my son thinks he is being thoughtful in selecting only one item for Christmas, but the reality is that this computer costs over $1,000, when his perfectly good computer that we just bought him this year was only a few hundred dollars. How can I let him down easily? We can’t afford to buy him a computer that he doesn’t even need. -- No New Computer

DEAR NO NEW COMPUTER: Speak directly to your son, and make it crystal clear that you will not be buying him the computer he requested this Christmas. Assure him that it is not a punishment. Remind him that you recently purchased a computer for him that his instructors have indicated is more than adequate to handle his course load.

Don’t skirt the issue -- your son wants to have the computer that his peers have. Let him know that you understand his reasoning while you also know that it is not possible to stay in step with his peers all the time. He will have to learn how to embrace his own life and to value the things he has, even when they are different from his friends’. Reinforce that what you own does not measure your personal value.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is 17 years old, and he has not had a girlfriend yet. I am so happy about that. I hope he doesn’t have a girlfriend until he is in college. I think dating is overrated, and I’m fine with him being a late bloomer. I have a girlfriend who hates my thinking on this. She thinks it is better for her child to date during high school so that she can provide wisdom when he does something dumb. She thinks supervision is a good thing when he is still under her roof. What do you think? -- Teenage Dating

DEAR TEENAGE DATING: I believe that people begin to date when the time is right for them, and there is no prescribed “right” time. That said, it is common for teenagers to begin to take interest in each other and often to explore romantic feelings. Even in 2019, that curiosity does not automatically mean that teens will engage in sexual activity. For many young people, there are several steps before actual sexual intimacy takes place. While a parent cannot fully monitor that, you can teach your children and teens what your expectations and values are about intimacy.

To your question, I think it is helpful for you as a parent to be able to provide input about relationships before your child moves away. You have far less influence when your child is out of your house. I am not recommending that you encourage your child to date. I am suggesting that you talk about relationships and what happens in them with your child now -- and regularly. Do your best to establish an open dialogue with your teen so that whenever intimacy begins, you are part of the conversation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)