DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a cheapskate. He does not like to spend money on anything extra -- especially clothes. For this reason, he has been wearing the same clothes for years. Normally that doesn’t matter, but we have a couple of big events to attend, and he does not have the proper clothing to wear to them. He needs a suit. The last time we bought one was probably 10 years ago, which is way more than 10 pounds ago. He tried on his suit recently, and he couldn’t button the jacket. The whole thing was way too small. When I said something about it, he just scoffed. He cannot go to my work function wearing a suit that is so ill-fitting.

How can I convince my husband that investing in one suit will be valuable for our future? He works with his hands, and his work clothes are jeans and a dirty T-shirt. I have a professional job, and I have to wear a suit or a dress. -- Opening His Eyes

DEAR OPENING HIS EYES: Remind your husband that it is helpful to you and your life as a family if he is willing to dress up in a suit every now and then and go with you to business functions. Point out that rarely do you ask him to do this, but make it clear that his participation counts for a lot. Tell him that you would very much like to select a suit for him that will be comfortable and look perfect. If he is unwilling to go to the store, do your best to figure out his size and purchase two different sizes for him. Have him try on each suit, and return the one that doesn’t fit.

Since he doesn’t often go with you to these types of functions, remind him of the expectations so that he can feel comfortable and at ease. Express your appreciation that he is willing to support you and your family in this way. Do not take for granted that he will comply. When and if he does, be obvious with your gratitude so that he has no doubts about your sincerity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new boyfriend who is a lot of fun. He enjoys taking me out to dinner, movies and other social activities. I like spending time with him doing these things, but I also like my quiet time. I am a reader, and I like to carve out time every day to read a little bit. He, on the other hand, does not read at all. He watches cable news and reads a bit of online news, but that’s it. He doesn’t have patience for my reading. He doesn’t like to sit still for too long. When I curl up with a book, he is ready to leave. I don’t intend to stop being a reader. How do you suggest we work through this difference in behavior? -- Not a Reader

DEAR NOT A READER: Your boyfriend’s lack of interest in reading does not have to be a deal breaker. You do enjoy many activities together. Perhaps you can designate a certain period of time as “private time,” during which you can read or do whatever else you may like while he finds what he would like to do alone. Agree with him that your reading time is important and you are happy to give him space for his own activities.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is at a new school this year, and he has asked for a fancy computer for Christmas so that he can have the same one as his friends. I checked with his instructors, and I know that the computer he has is sufficient for him to complete his work. But peer pressure is real, and he says he only wants one thing for Christmas -- and this is it.

I get that my son thinks he is being thoughtful in selecting only one item for Christmas, but the reality is that this computer costs over $1,000, when his perfectly good computer that we just bought him this year was only a few hundred dollars. How can I let him down easily? We can’t afford to buy him a computer that he doesn’t even need. -- No New Computer

DEAR NO NEW COMPUTER: Speak directly to your son, and make it crystal clear that you will not be buying him the computer he requested this Christmas. Assure him that it is not a punishment. Remind him that you recently purchased a computer for him that his instructors have indicated is more than adequate to handle his course load.

Don’t skirt the issue -- your son wants to have the computer that his peers have. Let him know that you understand his reasoning while you also know that it is not possible to stay in step with his peers all the time. He will have to learn how to embrace his own life and to value the things he has, even when they are different from his friends’. Reinforce that what you own does not measure your personal value.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is 17 years old, and he has not had a girlfriend yet. I am so happy about that. I hope he doesn’t have a girlfriend until he is in college. I think dating is overrated, and I’m fine with him being a late bloomer. I have a girlfriend who hates my thinking on this. She thinks it is better for her child to date during high school so that she can provide wisdom when he does something dumb. She thinks supervision is a good thing when he is still under her roof. What do you think? -- Teenage Dating

DEAR TEENAGE DATING: I believe that people begin to date when the time is right for them, and there is no prescribed “right” time. That said, it is common for teenagers to begin to take interest in each other and often to explore romantic feelings. Even in 2019, that curiosity does not automatically mean that teens will engage in sexual activity. For many young people, there are several steps before actual sexual intimacy takes place. While a parent cannot fully monitor that, you can teach your children and teens what your expectations and values are about intimacy.

To your question, I think it is helpful for you as a parent to be able to provide input about relationships before your child moves away. You have far less influence when your child is out of your house. I am not recommending that you encourage your child to date. I am suggesting that you talk about relationships and what happens in them with your child now -- and regularly. Do your best to establish an open dialogue with your teen so that whenever intimacy begins, you are part of the conversation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is so independent that even when it is obvious he needs help, he refuses to accept it. He is a senior citizen, and he presents himself well. He had surgery recently, and I just happened to learn about it. He made me promise not to tell anybody, and he wouldn’t let me help him in any way. I feel terrible. This is what friends are for -- to help out in times of need.

Even though my friend is in good health, after surgery it would have been helpful for someone to cook him a meal or help him wash his clothes. The little things can become hard when you are temporarily laid up, but he would have none of it. Eventually, I had to give up. But it made me sad that he refused any help. Should I just let this go? I hear these stories about people dying in their houses, and I would hate for something like that to happen to a friend I could have helped. -- No Help Please

DEAR NO HELP PLEASE: Could it be that you are being a bit melodramatic? Yes, your friend had surgery and didn’t include you in his convalescence. Are you sure that he was at home unable to care for himself? He may be telling you the truth, that he was OK and didn’t feel the need for extra help. Or he may have had help that he didn’t mention to you.

For your own peace of mind, you may want to make it clear to him that if he is in need, you would be happy to support him. Especially as people get older, it can be helpful to establish a phone tree or some other method of communicating in case of emergency. If he does not like that option, encourage him to sign up for one of those alarm programs that he can engage in case of personal emergency. Know that you cannot force him to have you as his I.C.E. -- in case of emergency.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A family friend got an assignment in my city for the next few months. I am happy that I will be able to see her, but I want to manage expectations. My work is busy, and I have a teenager who is in overdrive with school. I can’t spend too much time with this woman, even though I like her a lot. Because she is new to the city, she is eager to get together with me. How can I make it clear to her that we can see each other occasionally, but not nearly as much as she has requested? -- Time Management

DEAR TIME MANAGEMENT: Be as direct with her as you are with me right now. Welcome her to town and tell her what you love about it. Meet up with her as soon as is convenient, either at your home or at a restaurant or other social environment. Suggest fun things that she can do in her spare time. And tell her that you will be able to see her only from time to time because of your own schedule.

You can stay in touch via phone or text, but draw the line if you do not have time to spend with her. You can make recommendations for activities that she may enjoy and make time when you can to see each other.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)