DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been friends with a female corporate executive for some years now. She is lovely and smart, and our relationship is always warm. I saw her after not seeing her for about six months, and it was obvious to me that she had had plastic surgery. I’m sorry, but she looked crazy to me. Yes, she is getting older and a bit overweight, but what she did to her face makes her look totally fake.

I feel like I should say something to her. I guess she is trying to keep up with the young people in her world, but it is not working. I think it would be so much better if she just accepted herself as she is. Should I say something to her? -- Too Much Plastic Surgery

DEAR TOO MUCH PLASTIC SURGERY: This is a time when I recommend that you keep your comments to yourself. Your friend has made choices that you may not have made, but they are made. For you to tell her you think she made a bad decision about something that is largely irreversible is not helpful. Clearly, your friend was feeling the urge to modernize herself or at least to make herself seem younger. Occasionally, plastic surgery does that effectively. Often, the job is too glaringly different from where you started.

That is not your problem. Your challenge is to be a friend to her by accepting her as she is. If she ever brings up her plastic surgery, you can tell her, gently, that you choose not to refresh in that way. If she asks more, you can give her your thoughts in general about the pros and cons of plastic surgery, but steer clear of what she has done until and unless she asks you directly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father used to say, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” I tell it to my kids, but they don’t have a clue. I feel like my wife and I are spoiling our kids too much by letting them have a comfortable life. I struggled for every dollar, and it worked out for me -- when it was time for me to work as an adult, I knew I had to hustle. I worry that my kids have it too easy. They don’t understand what it means for the lights to go out because their parents didn’t have money to pay the electric bill. I need to do something to get them to appreciate what they have. Any ideas? -- Wake Up My Kids

DEAR WAKE UP MY KIDS: Privilege can trick young people into believing that they will always enjoy the fruits of their parents’ labor and influence. I have talked to a number of wealthy parents who have shared their down-to-earth stories. One celebrity mom told me that her well-to-do father told her that while she lives in his house, it is his. She can enjoy the fruits of his labor for as long as HE decides, not her. This motivated her to make her own money and figure out her life as an independent person.

Can you encourage your kids to step into responsibility? Stay in conversation with them so that they can imagine what it means to be independent and what they can do to get there. Changing the narrative from your children asking for money to them asking about how to invest what they have and, in other ways, thinking about how to plan for the future will be a tremendous win!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I realize that even when I say things to co-workers in confidence, they often tell other people. I suppose I should remember that from elementary school, but I am an adult, and in my professional life, I expect people to follow protocol.

If something is considered confidential and is clearly identified as such, it should be kept confidential. My company goes so far as to outline who gets to know things that are listed as confidential. I don’t want to rat out my colleagues who have loose lips, but I do believe that what they are doing is reckless and totally against company rules. How should I handle this? I am a junior executive and do not want to risk my position in the company. -- Shut Your Mouth

DEAR SHUT YOUR MOUTH: Tread carefully so that you can fully assess the situation. Who do you believe is breaking confidentiality at work? How do you know? Have you directly witnessed a breach? Taking this seriously includes being completely clear that you are an eyewitness to something inappropriate.

Next, get a sense of who is releasing the information. If the perpetrators are company favorites, you may be stepping into political waters when and if you say anything. Do you have any allies at work? As you evaluate everything, figure out if you feel alone or if you will have support, if needed.

Finally, if you feel that the information being shared inappropriately will negatively impact your company, you should speak up. You may want to speak to your boss, if you feel aligned with him or her. Or you can go to human resources. If the content seems particularly volatile, you may want to talk to a lawyer first to figure out how to protect yourself, if you may be seen as a whistleblower when you speak up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think I contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I got involved with a guy at my school. It was my first time, but something is not right down there. I can’t tell my mom because she would be so ashamed of me. I know it is 2019, but my family is conservative. I am afraid that if I go to the doctor at my school, she will call home and tell my mother. I need to do something because I am uncomfortable. What should I do? -- Feeling Sick

DEAR FEELING SICK: You should go to the doctor at your school. Assuming that you are 18, the medical department cannot legally share your health information with anyone, including your family. You can verify that with the medical center to alleviate your fears, but that is the law.

Go get checked out. Hopefully whatever infection you have can be easily treated. I will point out, though, that not every infection is curable. Now that you have become sexually active, learn how to protect yourself as best you can from infection. Your school physician should be able to go through the details of practicing safer sex as well as give you condoms.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had a landline for my business for more than 20 years, but I hardly ever use it anymore. I have been looking for ways to cut costs, and I had the thought that I should just make my cellphone my primary number. Most of the calls that I get on voicemail are solicitors anyway, so I don’t think I will miss too much business. I’m a little nervous, though, since I have had my number for so long. I do use social media and have a website where I can list my cell number. What do you think? Is it time to go for it? -- Going Wireless

DEAR GOING WIRELESS: You would be surprised by how many businesses are letting go of their beloved landlines these days. Many businesses that do not have to have a physical presence are going mobile, and they’re getting rid of their brick-and-mortar establishments or landlines in the process. In some cases, you may be able to get your telephone carrier to allow you to turn your landline number into a cell number. In many cases, you cannot. But if you do enough promotion with your website and social media outlets with the new number -- especially since you say you get fewer calls to your landline these days -- you should be OK.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband passed away two years ago. I am still having a hard time getting over this loss. We used to do everything together, and I miss him so much. I still work and go through my life, but it is hard.

In the past few months, several elders in my community have died, and I have not been able to go to their funerals. It has been too emotional. As I was getting dressed to go to one of them, I started hyperventilating. It was awful. My family doesn’t understand. They think I am being selfish. I don’t think I am. I can’t deal with death right now. What can I say to my family to get them off my back? -- Grief-Stricken

DEAR GRIEF-STRICKEN: Grief does not have a timeline. Each person suffers loss differently. Many people who have suffered loss have a hard time going to funerals because these events trigger memories of their recently departed loved ones. It is OK for you to stay away from funerals for now.

What you might also consider is going to grief counseling. Getting professional support may help you to figure out how to release the profound sorrow that you are feeling. It doesn’t mean you will ever forget your husband -- nor should you. But you may learn coping skills that allow you space to find happiness and groundedness. When you feel solid, it will be easier for you to honor others who have passed by attending their homegoing celebrations.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)