DEAR HARRIETTE: I realize that even when I say things to co-workers in confidence, they often tell other people. I suppose I should remember that from elementary school, but I am an adult, and in my professional life, I expect people to follow protocol.

If something is considered confidential and is clearly identified as such, it should be kept confidential. My company goes so far as to outline who gets to know things that are listed as confidential. I don’t want to rat out my colleagues who have loose lips, but I do believe that what they are doing is reckless and totally against company rules. How should I handle this? I am a junior executive and do not want to risk my position in the company. -- Shut Your Mouth

DEAR SHUT YOUR MOUTH: Tread carefully so that you can fully assess the situation. Who do you believe is breaking confidentiality at work? How do you know? Have you directly witnessed a breach? Taking this seriously includes being completely clear that you are an eyewitness to something inappropriate.

Next, get a sense of who is releasing the information. If the perpetrators are company favorites, you may be stepping into political waters when and if you say anything. Do you have any allies at work? As you evaluate everything, figure out if you feel alone or if you will have support, if needed.

Finally, if you feel that the information being shared inappropriately will negatively impact your company, you should speak up. You may want to speak to your boss, if you feel aligned with him or her. Or you can go to human resources. If the content seems particularly volatile, you may want to talk to a lawyer first to figure out how to protect yourself, if you may be seen as a whistleblower when you speak up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think I contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I got involved with a guy at my school. It was my first time, but something is not right down there. I can’t tell my mom because she would be so ashamed of me. I know it is 2019, but my family is conservative. I am afraid that if I go to the doctor at my school, she will call home and tell my mother. I need to do something because I am uncomfortable. What should I do? -- Feeling Sick

DEAR FEELING SICK: You should go to the doctor at your school. Assuming that you are 18, the medical department cannot legally share your health information with anyone, including your family. You can verify that with the medical center to alleviate your fears, but that is the law.

Go get checked out. Hopefully whatever infection you have can be easily treated. I will point out, though, that not every infection is curable. Now that you have become sexually active, learn how to protect yourself as best you can from infection. Your school physician should be able to go through the details of practicing safer sex as well as give you condoms.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had a landline for my business for more than 20 years, but I hardly ever use it anymore. I have been looking for ways to cut costs, and I had the thought that I should just make my cellphone my primary number. Most of the calls that I get on voicemail are solicitors anyway, so I don’t think I will miss too much business. I’m a little nervous, though, since I have had my number for so long. I do use social media and have a website where I can list my cell number. What do you think? Is it time to go for it? -- Going Wireless

DEAR GOING WIRELESS: You would be surprised by how many businesses are letting go of their beloved landlines these days. Many businesses that do not have to have a physical presence are going mobile, and they’re getting rid of their brick-and-mortar establishments or landlines in the process. In some cases, you may be able to get your telephone carrier to allow you to turn your landline number into a cell number. In many cases, you cannot. But if you do enough promotion with your website and social media outlets with the new number -- especially since you say you get fewer calls to your landline these days -- you should be OK.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband passed away two years ago. I am still having a hard time getting over this loss. We used to do everything together, and I miss him so much. I still work and go through my life, but it is hard.

In the past few months, several elders in my community have died, and I have not been able to go to their funerals. It has been too emotional. As I was getting dressed to go to one of them, I started hyperventilating. It was awful. My family doesn’t understand. They think I am being selfish. I don’t think I am. I can’t deal with death right now. What can I say to my family to get them off my back? -- Grief-Stricken

DEAR GRIEF-STRICKEN: Grief does not have a timeline. Each person suffers loss differently. Many people who have suffered loss have a hard time going to funerals because these events trigger memories of their recently departed loved ones. It is OK for you to stay away from funerals for now.

What you might also consider is going to grief counseling. Getting professional support may help you to figure out how to release the profound sorrow that you are feeling. It doesn’t mean you will ever forget your husband -- nor should you. But you may learn coping skills that allow you space to find happiness and groundedness. When you feel solid, it will be easier for you to honor others who have passed by attending their homegoing celebrations.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I belong to a civic organization that is a lot of fun but very expensive. The dues are high, and the activities cost extra money. I have scraped together the funds over the years, but I am beginning to feel stressed out about it. I’m wondering whether it makes sense for me to continue to be a member. I am getting close to retirement, and I really can’t afford it. I’m already friends with a number of the women, so I know I will continue to stay close to them. It’s hard to part ways, though. What do you think? -- Out of My Budget

DEAR OUT OF MY BUDGET: Stand back and assess the situation from a sober vantage point. Review your monthly budget, and take note of how you spend every dollar. How much disposable income do you have left when you extract this organization’s dues and the costs of additional club activities? Do you see a significant savings when you take away those amounts? If so, it should be clearer to you what you should do.

When you look at the big picture, you can see what makes sense for you. As hard as it may seem at first to walk away from the organization, it may be worth it, especially if you can remain actively close to the few members you consider to be true friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a bit of a pack rat; I don’t throw anything away. I was making an effort to get rid of some old papers when I realized that I have tax papers and old bills dating back 20 years. I have them filed neatly, but I don’t know if I need all of this stuff still. Are there rules about when you can discard tax papers and bills? -- Clearing Out

DEAR CLEARING OUT: For the most part, it is safe to say that you do not need to keep most of your financial statements and tax returns as long as you have, some 20 years.

The generally recommended time to keep tax returns is three years, but in some cases you may need to keep them a bit longer. The IRS website says, “The length of time you should keep a document depends on the action, expense or event which the document records. Generally, you must keep your records that support an item of income, deduction or credit shown on your tax return until the period of limitations for that tax return runs out.

“The period of limitations is the period of time in which you can amend your tax return to claim a credit or refund, or the IRS can assess additional tax.” For specific information on the period of limitations, visit irs.gov.

For credit card statements and old bills, if you have resolved the payments and there are no discrepancies, you do not need to keep them after your tax returns for those years are no longer in question.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)