DEAR HARRIETTE: I belong to a civic organization that is a lot of fun but very expensive. The dues are high, and the activities cost extra money. I have scraped together the funds over the years, but I am beginning to feel stressed out about it. I’m wondering whether it makes sense for me to continue to be a member. I am getting close to retirement, and I really can’t afford it. I’m already friends with a number of the women, so I know I will continue to stay close to them. It’s hard to part ways, though. What do you think? -- Out of My Budget

DEAR OUT OF MY BUDGET: Stand back and assess the situation from a sober vantage point. Review your monthly budget, and take note of how you spend every dollar. How much disposable income do you have left when you extract this organization’s dues and the costs of additional club activities? Do you see a significant savings when you take away those amounts? If so, it should be clearer to you what you should do.

When you look at the big picture, you can see what makes sense for you. As hard as it may seem at first to walk away from the organization, it may be worth it, especially if you can remain actively close to the few members you consider to be true friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a bit of a pack rat; I don’t throw anything away. I was making an effort to get rid of some old papers when I realized that I have tax papers and old bills dating back 20 years. I have them filed neatly, but I don’t know if I need all of this stuff still. Are there rules about when you can discard tax papers and bills? -- Clearing Out

DEAR CLEARING OUT: For the most part, it is safe to say that you do not need to keep most of your financial statements and tax returns as long as you have, some 20 years.

The generally recommended time to keep tax returns is three years, but in some cases you may need to keep them a bit longer. The IRS website says, “The length of time you should keep a document depends on the action, expense or event which the document records. Generally, you must keep your records that support an item of income, deduction or credit shown on your tax return until the period of limitations for that tax return runs out.

“The period of limitations is the period of time in which you can amend your tax return to claim a credit or refund, or the IRS can assess additional tax.” For specific information on the period of limitations, visit irs.gov.

For credit card statements and old bills, if you have resolved the payments and there are no discrepancies, you do not need to keep them after your tax returns for those years are no longer in question.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: It seems like everybody in my house has come down with a cold or something. My son is barking like a dog, as my mother used to say. It seems like a regular cold, but I know he should rest. He is worried that he is going to miss an important test in school. He is also afraid that if he goes to school, he may end up getting other kids sick. He went in one day already, and a teacher wouldn’t let him in her classroom. How can I help him get well while still staying current in school? -- Sick Kid

DEAR SICK KID: As a parent, you need to step in as the voice of reason and authority. If your son is sick and potentially contagious, he should not go to school -- period.

You should take your son to the doctor to find out exactly what’s wrong with him and how you can support his healing. While it could just be a cold, you don’t know what he’s got. Get him evaluated, and request a medical note excusing him from school. You should also contact the school directly to let them know that your son has been ill, which is why you kept him out. Ask for makeup dates for any tests and extended deadlines for homework that occurred while he was out. Don’t send him back to school until he is well enough to go without making others ill.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event last weekend and ran into a man who used to be a huge crush for me. I haven’t seen him in years. That night I had a dream that he kissed me; I blushed even in my sleep. I realize that I still like him, even after all this time. We are both single, but it’s been like seven or eight years since we have seen each other. We did exchange numbers. Should I call him? Should I tell him about my dream? -- Smitten

DEAR SMITTEN: It sounds like only time has passed, not your crush. Before you do anything, go back down memory lane and recall what your relationship was like with this man years ago. You say he was your crush. Did he ever share your passion? If it was one-sided then, it could be the same now.

If the attraction was not obviously two-sided back in the day, cool your jets. You may not be able to trust your instincts now. I recommend that you do nothing. If this man is interested in you, let him make the first move. Otherwise, don’t leap backward into a time warp that didn’t serve you back then.

Let’s say that something about this moment makes you feel that the attraction is real; I still recommend that you let him make the first move. In this way, you will have assurance that he is contacting you because he wants to, rather than because he is responding to your call.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a spending problem. I can’t seem to stop myself from buying things online. Plus whenever I go out to the mall or something, I can’t just look. I end up buying something. I don’t know why I have this compulsion. My house is overrun with stuff that I have bought but don’t need and have nowhere to store. I think I have a problem. I am not rich and cannot afford all this stuff. But I can’t seem to stop, either. HELP! -- Compulsive Shopper

DEAR COMPULSIVE SHOPPER: Thank you for speaking up about your problem. You are not alone. Thousands of people in our country suffer from this compulsion. You have taken the first step by admitting that you have a problem in the first place.

Experts suggest that compulsive shopping usually masks a deeper problem with self-esteem in one way or another. To release yourself from this habit, it is best to go to therapy, where you can talk honestly about your life and your choices to a professional who can help you to develop healthier habits.

For support, contact theshulmancenter.com/overspending-shopping-addiction.html or Debtors Anonymous at debtorsanonymous.org.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that my daughter, a college student, is pregnant. She was doing so well in school, and now this. Our family does not believe in abortion, so she is going to have the baby. We have no idea how we will afford to take care of it, whether she will continue college or anything else. We are at a loss. My husband and I cannot afford to take the baby and care for it, and we are not in the best of health. My daughter is not with the young man, and he is not willing to help in any way. What can we do? -- Pregnant Too Soon

DEAR PREGNANT TOO SOON: Bringing a child into the world is a blessing and a responsibility. Your daughter needs to assess what she wants to do before the child is born. Among her choices is adoption. If she does not have the means on her own or with her family to provide for a child, she should figure out a healthy option that will ensure that this baby has the best life possible. Talk with her about adoption. It could occur within your family if there is someone who would like to raise a child, or through an agency.

If she wants to keep the child, your daughter may have to delay her education and get a job. Again, if you cannot support her and the baby financially for the long term, she has to figure it out. This may feel like you are abandoning her, from her perspective, but what you need to do is to be honest and transparent. Let your daughter know exactly how you envision you may be able to help and what you cannot or will not do. Then it is up to her to make choices accordingly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)