DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working on a project for six months, and at a companywide meeting, my boss took all the credit for the work that I have done. Yes, it was for our team, but he did nothing, and I did it all, yet he acted like he was the victor. I was so mad.

I’m not sure what to do. Complaining may make me seem petty, but I am so angry that he didn’t give me or his team any credit for the hard work we have been doing to get to where we are now. Is there anything I can say that may open his eyes for the next time? He is usually a thoughtful boss, but overlooking me and the rest of the team for all of the work we did felt like a slap in the face. -- Overlooked

DEAR OVERLOOKED: If you can frame your concern so that it doesn’t seem personal, you may be able to get the message across to your boss. For example, perhaps you can congratulate your boss on presenting successfully at the companywide meeting while adding that it might be good for him to say something to the team about how hard they worked on the project that he mentioned. Gently point out that while he talked about it, he did not acknowledge the people who worked to make it happen. In this way, you point out what is obvious to you without directly criticizing him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin is getting married next fall, and she is very excited. She is in her mid-20s and is thrilled to have found her partner. They are just starting their lives together, and they cannot afford the wedding that they have planned. Every time we talk about it, my cousin asks if the family will chip in to help make her dream come true. I don’t agree. I would rather give them money to help them build toward their future. She is mad that this is my opinion, but I feel strongly about it. How can I get my point across? It’s nice to have a beautiful party, but much more important, in my view, to be set up to start a beautiful life. -- Affordable Wedding

DEAR AFFORDABLE WEDDING: Rather than getting too involved in the details of your cousin’s wedding, you can stand your ground about how you will support her. In a private conversation, tell your cousin how much you love and support her. Make it clear that your way of gifting her for her union is by giving her money for her future. Tell her if she continues to push forward for a lavish wedding, she will need to get financial help from people other than you.

Make it clear that you are not abandoning her. Instead, you are showing your love in ways that make sense to you. At the same time, you can let her know that you do not intend to lobby other family members to join your position. You should be quiet and let her navigate her journey.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been fighting with my husband over everything, it seems. I am not happy, and he and I are not getting along. It is time for us to plan our annual trip to visit his family for the holidays, and I do not want to go. I don’t feel like smiling and acting like everything is fine, or being interrogated by his family about what’s wrong. I’m not filing for divorce, either. I just don’t want to pretend anymore. I want to go to therapy with my husband, but he refuses. What can I do? -- At a Crossroads

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: Sit down with your husband and tell him that you do not feel comfortable going to visit his family this year. Tell him why. Be specific and honest. Explain that you are not happy with him, and you don’t feel like pretending or explaining what’s going on. This may be a wake-up call for him about how serious you are about your marital problems.

Ask him again to go to therapy with you. Tell him you aren’t interested in getting a divorce, but you do want to figure out ways to strengthen your marriage. Ask him if he wants that, too. Standing up about not going to visit his family may be the eye-opener he needs to take you seriously.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor asked to borrow chairs from me recently when she had guests coming over for a big dinner. I thought that was an odd request, but I loaned her the chairs. When she returned them, one of the seat cushions was soiled. I know it happened while the chair was at her house because I hardly ever use these chairs, and it wasn’t soiled before. I want her to have the chair cushion cleaned -- or at least pay for it. How do I bring this up without causing friction? -- Dirty Chair

DEAR DIRTY CHAIR: There is always a risk of damage when you lend your belongings to other people. There should also be an understanding on the other side that if someone damages something he or she borrowed, the responsibility lies with them.

Immediately speak to your neighbor about the chair. Show her the stain and tell her it wasn’t there before. Tell her that you would like for her to pay for the chair to be cleaned. Do some research to find out the cost to clean that cushion so that you can be specific as to your expectation.

It is likely that she will be somewhat embarrassed and open to paying to repair the damage. In the event that she is unwilling to do so or unwilling to admit that the stain occurred at her house, don’t fight with her. Get your chair cleaned, but do not lend anything else to her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter and her friends got into a bit of trouble at a party this weekend. My husband and I discovered that they were vaping. I know that this activity is targeted to teens. I also remember that I tried smoking cigarettes when I was a teenager. That said, I feel like the stakes are much higher for teens today than they were back in my time. Cigarettes do kill, but usually over many years of repetitive use. News reports today show that teenagers have been dying suddenly after vaping. Death should be a good enough scare tactic, but I’m not sure. I know these kids want to experiment. How can I get them to be safe when I know they want to try things? -- Anti-Vaping

DEAR ANTI-VAPING: As you likely remember, teenagers typically think of themselves as invincible and rarely consider fatal consequences to their actions. And yet, as parents and adults, we want to protect them more than anything. Restricting them from certain behaviors only works to a certain extent when they spend so much time on their own. Scaring them with real examples of their peers coming into harm’s way may help.

Turning on the news or looking at a newspaper will show that people are getting sick and sometimes dying from vaping. This goes for vaping nicotine products and marijuana products. Tell your daughter directly that you know she and her friends have tried vaping and that you are 100% against it. Lay out your reasons, emphasizing that young people have died recently as a result of vaping.

Be direct by stating that you believe there are some things that are better left untried, or at least not tried again. Recommend that they move past vaping, because it isn’t worth it. Here’s an article that breaks down what is happening with vaping these days: bit.ly/31lDpS0.

Encourage your daughter to make smart choices for herself -- she is worth it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I usually go to my hometown for Thanksgiving, but we aren’t doing that this year. The cost of travel is too high, so we are staying at our home.

I have not ever cooked Thanksgiving dinner. It’s always a big thing that I attend. I am married with three teenage children. I know we should do something, but I’m not prepared to take on the whole meal. Would it be horrible for me to take the family to a favorite restaurant? -- New Thanksgiving

DEAR NEW THANKSGIVING: Here’s your chance to make Thanksgiving special for your family, even though you aren’t traveling to be with your extended family. Going to a restaurant is a fine idea. And trust that you will not be alone. Many restaurants serve special Thanksgiving meals. You do need to make reservations.

Build the idea with your family as a treat for the five of you. Plan it so that everyone gets dressed up and makes it a special event. You may want to invite everyone to talk about what they are grateful for, even this year when you are celebrating in a different way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)