DEAR HARRIETTE: I get invited to events all the time with my work. Occasionally my husband wants to go, but not most of the time. His work is demanding, and he likes his day to end at 6, not start up again at 7 or 8.

I often invite other friends or colleagues to go with me when it’s best to have a plus-one. My husband is fine with that, but occasionally if my companion is a man, people will assume he is my husband. I always correct them to say who the person is, colleague or friend. I don’t know what else to do. I am certainly not out and about with a “boyfriend.” How can I ensure that roles are clear when my husband rarely goes out with me? -- Who Is That?

DEAR WHO IS THAT?: You are not alone in terms of going to events with friends or colleagues when your spouse doesn’t want to attend. As long as you are clear about who is with you and what that person’s role is -- and your husband is in agreement -- you should be fine. When you introduce your plus-one, state who he is and call him your friend or colleague. Be sure to be clear in all of your introductions so that you leave no room for curiosity or rumor. Be confident that you are handling yourself with integrity, and keep it moving. If people ask about your husband, be sure to give a brief update on how he is.

Don’t give up on your husband. When an event seems perfect for him, encourage him to attend with you. It can be fun for the two of you to go out together and can help reinforce to any haters out there that you do indeed have a loving husband who makes an appearance from time to time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I drink coffee every day and red wine a lot. The last time I went to the dentist, the hygienist told me that these beverages are staining my teeth. She said she can mostly scrape off the stains, but the only way to prevent them is to curb drinking these beverages. I don’t want to do that. I suppose I could drink less of them. I can get my teeth cleaned only twice a year with my insurance, but the stains build up faster. What should I do? -- Stained Teeth

DEAR STAINED TEETH: Perhaps there is a middle ground here. If you are drinking so much of these dark fluids that they are significantly staining your teeth, you may want to curb them some -- for your health. Replace them, at least some of the time, with water.

That said, ask your hygienist if using whitening toothpaste might help and what the pros and cons are of using such a product. Today there are many products on the market that can whiten your teeth. You may be able to supplement your twice-annual professional cleanings with using one of these products.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two young children and a husband who works all the time. He wants to be supportive, but it’s a hollow idea. When he gets home from work, he is so tired he may spend a few minutes with the kids, but that’s about it. I work part-time while the kids are in day care, then I’m at home with them for the rest of the day. We can’t afford full-time day care. I don’t know what to do. I feel totally stressed out and unsupported. -- Mama Needs Help

DEAR MAMA NEEDS HELP: Pick a day and time when your husband has energy to focus. Tell him you need to talk. Lay out your life for him so that he can see what you are dealing with, and be specific about the support that you need from him. For example, if you want him to be with the children for an hour after he gets home from work so that you can decompress, request that. If you want him to handle bedtime, meaning baths, reading a story and tucking them in -- every night, several nights a week whatever it is -- make the request.

Make it clear to your husband that you are feeling overwhelmed and need his support in order to manage. Acknowledge that his day is long and can be stressful, but don’t back off. The best way to get his help is to give him specific tasks.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a small apartment building that has thin walls. One of my neighbors cooks fish all the time, and whenever she does, the smell stinks up the hallways and even seeps into my apartment. I want to gag when this happens. I know she has the right to cook whatever she wants, but the reeking, stinking smell of fried fish is turning my stomach. I want to recommend that she invest in a vent to suck out the air. Is that rude? Should I speak to management? I can’t just act like it isn’t happening. Sometimes my clothes end up smelling like her fried porgies. I can’t take it anymore. -- Fried Fish

DEAR FRIED FISH: Start with your landlord. File a complaint about the smell, and ask the management company to install ventilation to suck out the air. Explain how the smell is seeping into your apartment and you need help to come up with a solution to contain the aroma.

If the landlord does nothing, go to your neighbor and make the recommendation about the vent. This obviously is tricky. The way that people cook is particular to their cultures and tastes. You need to be careful not to insult your neighbor as you point out how the smell is filling the halls and getting into your apartment. Again, a ventilation system, possibly a vent over the stove, should be able to reduce the smell considerably.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I know that reading is important for building the mind. I have always been a reader, and I want my children to enjoy reading as well. The problem is that my husband loves to watch TV, and we live in a culture where binge-watching stupid programs is the norm. How can I train my children to love reading and not to become entranced by the TV? -- Time To Read

DEAR TIME TO READ: You need to strike a happy medium in your home. You may not be able to get your husband to become a reader, but you can limit screen time for your children and establish specific reading hours where you read together. If you start this practice early enough, you can help your children establish a rhythm that includes reading. Children tend to emulate what their parents do, so set a good example.

Do know that limiting television is not nearly enough. Young people are more engaged with their smartphones and other devices than television these days. You may want to create a policy where smart devices go into a bowl upon entering the home or, at least, during a period of time allocated for reading, studying and being with family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son wants to be a rapper. He has been making music and posting it on SoundCloud for a year now. He has performed at his school and a couple of other places. I am happy that he is exploring his creativity, but I do not want him to drop out of school to do this. He is a good student, in the 11th grade. I don’t want to come off as the overbearing parent, but I want him to go to college and get skills that will help him later in life, even if he does get a chance at this music thing somewhere down the line.

My son is talking about trying to go professional as soon as he graduates from high school. One parent suggested to me that I let him take a gap year to explore his options. He said I should give him the compromise to apply to schools and then ask for a gap year to be able to attend. What do you think about that? -- Rap Gap Year

DEAR RAP GAP YEAR: I know many families who allowed their children to take a gap year. They did this in part because the investment in college is significant, and if the student isn’t serious about it, it can turn out to be a huge waste of money.

On the other hand, I totally see the value in pushing your child toward completing his education. It’s tricky.

I like the compromise you put forth -- apply to college for the areas of interest he has, then request a deferment for one year. This lets him know that he has a concrete responsibility in 12 months and may motivate him to make the most of every day leading up to that. During the gap year, encourage him to be productive and creative as he pursues his dream. Toward the end of the year, assess where he is and what his next steps should be.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)