DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter wants to go to a rap concert with her friends. She is so excited about the possibility. She and her friends listen to the artist all the time. I allowed her to go to another big concert this summer with friends, and she did well. I told her she can go this time if she has a buddy who agrees to stay with her during the whole concert. If they buddy up and follow the basic directions that we have given them their whole lives, I anticipate they will be fine. These concerts have lots of security.

Once I got comfortable with the idea, I discovered that her friend’s mom is nervous and doesn’t want to let her daughter go. I believe that we can’t protect our children from everything, and I do think we can let them go as long as they make smart choices. What should I say to this mom? -- Let Them Go

DEAR LET THEM GO: You have entered the phase of parenting teenagers where you will constantly be evaluating freedom versus safety. Every parent wants to protect their child from potential harm. Going to a large concert has its challenges. The very nature of a large crowd is at the top of the list. Go through your checklist of precautions with the other parent and explain that you believe that if your daughters follow them, they will be as safe as possible. Share your perspective, making it clear that you do not have a crystal ball, but you trust your daughter and want to give her this opportunity.

You might also ask your daughter to think of another friend who may want to go with her. You should not pressure this mother too much. State your case and move on, if necessary. For your peace of mind, you want your teen to go with another person who shares your values and whose parent is on board.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having a hard time keeping track of all of my responsibilities. I used to have an assistant, but I had to let him go; I don’t have the budget to support an employee anymore.

For most of my career I have had administrative help. I’m creative, and I have needed support to keep all of the details in place. Now that I am alone, I have been missing appointments and failing to stay on top of some of the most important details of my business. I know this sounds pathetic, but it’s true. What do you recommend that I do to get it together? -- Falling Apart

DEAR FALLING APART: It can be challenging to change your work style and keep an even flow, especially if you are accustomed to having administrative support. If you have any budget at all, you may consider hiring a virtual assistant for an hour or so a day. Many people work remotely and offer focused engagement for clients so that you get support without having to pay a full-time salary.

You can also look into administrative software that can support your efforts to stay on top of your work. Smartphones have many features that can help you keep track of your responsibilities. There are ways that you can get the help you need at a price you can afford!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always done whatever my parents told me to do. I took the career path they recommended. I chose to live in the neighborhood my father thought was right for me. It’s not that their ideas were bad, but now I’m 30 years old, and I feel like I’m living the life they wanted for me instead of the life I want for myself.

Honestly, I don’t really even know what I want for me. I have some ideas, but my father never said they were valid. He always told me I should do something responsible. I’m doing that, but I’m not happy. How can I step out on my own now? It feels like it’s too late. I’ve been following their rules my whole life. -- Stepping Out

DEAR STEPPING OUT: Good news: You are at the perfect stage in your life to separate from your parents. You do not have to be angry with them or resentful or anything else. Instead, recognize that you are coming into your own, and it is time for you to think about next steps purely from your perspective. As an adult, what do you want to do with your life? Where do you want to live? What feels like your path, independent of your parents’ desires?

This doesn’t mean, by the way, that you have to extricate yourself from the values that you were taught that have helped to guide you to this moment. It does mean that it is time for you to fully accept responsibility for yourself, for your choices, for your life. It may also mean that you have to stand up for yourself and tell your parents your intentions and ask for their blessing -- even though you should proceed whether or not you get it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are coming up on a big anniversary, and our kids suggested that we have a party. They are super gung-ho about it, but my husband and I are lukewarm. Our life is pretty boring these days, and while we are together, I don’t think either of us feels like celebrating. I’m not saying that we want to get divorced. We just don’t want to make a big deal out of something that feels like everyday life. Our kids are so into it, though, that we don’t want to disappoint them. How should we handle this? -- Not in the Mood

DEAR NOT IN THE MOOD: Day-to-day life is not super exciting for most people. That’s normal, and it includes couples who have been married for a long time. While you do not have to agree to a party, consider that it could be a lot of fun. Having loved ones gather who will celebrate your life and their various intersections with you can be uplifting. Your children are eager to do this and may be inspired to share highlights of your life together that will spark joyful memories that all of you will enjoy.

An anniversary party does not need to seem like a renewal of vows. It can simply be a party where people who love you gather to sing your praises and enjoy one another’s company. I say go for it, but remind your children that you would like for it to be low-key.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been going to a therapist -- separately. I couldn’t get him to go with me, but he agreed to start by talking to her on his own. I feel like I am making a bit of progress when I talk to her, but he still refuses to talk together.

I don’t know what to do. I want to save my marriage, but it is clear that we need a mediator. We are a little closer by having this woman, but how can I get him to see that it would be really helpful for us to have her talk to the two of us together? -- Need Help

DEAR NEED HELP: Ask your therapist to help you develop language that your husband may be able to relate to about coming together for a therapy meeting. Ideally, your request should be optimistic and without judgment. You need to convey to your husband that you care deeply for him and your life together, and you want to figure out how to make your bond stronger so that both of you can be happier. Your invitation to him for a combined session comes from your desire to determine how you can communicate better and see your way to a rekindled closeness that will benefit both of you.

Do your best not to threaten your husband. No matter how frustrated you get, it rarely works. At the same time, understand your limits. Can you stay in your marriage as it is? What needs to change for you to feel confident that you can experience joy with your husband? What can you do now to ignite joy? Do what you can in search of a positive outcome. This includes optimistic gestures that you believe your husband will appreciate. You might also remind him of things you would welcome.

Also ask your therapist to make a request for a session with both of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I graduated from school several months ago and have been desperately looking for a job. I did well in school and had a couple of good internships, but I can’t seem to land anything yet. It is so frustrating. I feel like I did all the right things -- or at least what I was told I should do -- but it’s hard out there.

It’s demoralizing to hear that unemployment is at an all-time low. I see a whole lot of young people just like me who are out of work. How can I get my confidence up in this situation? I really need a job. I’m beginning to doubt myself. -- Need Work

DEAR NEED WORK: The best thing you can do is have patience and keep looking. I know that sounds awful when your financial needs are looming over your head, but your attitude is everything right now. If you get into a panic, it will be difficult for you to search with focus and even more challenging to sell yourself in a job interview.

Hunker down and know that you are not alone. It often takes time to find work. Look through every outlet that you know for jobs in your area of interest. Expand your search a bit beyond your comfort zone, too. Call on people you know who may have contacts in your area of interest. Relationships are just as important as education and preparedness -- sometimes more.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)