DEAR HARRIETTE: Am I wrong to think that I could find true love with my high school sweetheart after being separated for more than 30 years? I am not a romantic normally, but recently I ran into my old flame, and sparks flew. I truly loved this guy when I was in 10th grade, and it broke my heart when college came and we parted ways. Nothing bad happened -- just life, really.

When I saw this man again at a work event, I was shocked. We had not seen each other since back in the day, and there he was. We struck it up real nice, and we have been dating. Do I dare believe that this could be true? I don’t want to get hurt, but it feels real. We enjoy each other’s company and have been spending a lot of time together. How can I tell if this is for keeps? -- Old Flame

DEAR OLD FLAME: Stay in the present moment. It’s fine to remember your love from the past, but don’t get caught up comparing then to now. Instead, trust the moment you are in. As you spend time together, notice what you enjoy about being in each other’s company. Pay attention to the things that mesh between you -- and those that don’t. This is important for the long term. It is natural for couples to share some interests and behaviors and not be so simpatico regarding others. It is smart for you to recognize the difference between the two.

Make sure you talk about your hopes for the future and how you think you fit into each other’s lives. If you are open and honest and willing to see if this relationship will work, you will find out. Be sure to base your assessment on what’s happening now, rather than what you remember from the past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was hanging out with a new friend the other day, and when we started talking, I learned that he is a Republican. I stopped in my tracks. I thought that all my friends shared my somewhat liberal Democratic views. Before I knew his political affiliation, I would say he fit that description, too. We share many values, but I draw the line with what’s happening in our government and was appalled to learn that he is in with them.

I didn’t ask him any more questions after that. I was so shocked I quickly ended our conversation and dipped out. But this guy is a friend. How can I handle the fact that we are on opposing teams? Everything is so political these days that I don’t know how to handle this. -- Us Vs. Them

DEAR US VS. THEM: My husband argues that the political parties are far more similar than different, though certain philosophies do differ. In today’s political times, there surely are some extremes that people are struggling to understand.

Rather than lumping your friend into a category that automatically says that you are opponents, talk to him about his views as you share your own. Have a respectful conversation about what you value and what he believes in. Determine where your values differ and where they may be similar. Agree on topics that you are happy to debate and those that you believe will lead to discord without resolution. You can agree to table those.

You don’t have to leave this friendship. Knowing people who have different viewpoints from yours is important in understanding life and how to engage other people. You should not expect or desire for everyone to be your clone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I get requests for donations online all the time. I see birthday fundraisers on social media, charity efforts to support various causes, etc.

Recently, I saw a campaign to support a friend’s children’s school. This looked good, and I am happy to support a friend. My question is whether this leaves me vulnerable to other people who know me and will wonder why I chose this campaign over theirs. I like saying that I made the contribution, but I do not like others judging me because I didn’t choose their charity. How can I handle this? -- Wanting To Give

DEAR WANTING TO GIVE: You can stand confident in the knowledge that you have the right to choose your charity of choice. If others ask you why you chose a particular charity, share your reasoning. If they ask why you chose this one over theirs, tell the truth. It could be that you learned about this one first, you feel close to the child who is attached to the charity, you have a personal affinity for the charity -- or whatever else. If you are new to philanthropic giving, you can say that as well -- this is new to you, and you were attracted to this project.

Part of the reason people donate anonymously is to avoid scrutiny from others, either by virtue of the amount of contribution or the affiliation. Whatever you decide, feel confident about giving to a good cause. And don’t allow yourself to be bullied into giving more than you can afford or to charities that do not draw your interest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage son is extremely shy. When he and I go places and people speak to him, it takes him so long to respond that I often find myself answering questions for him. I know that this isn’t helpful in the long run, but there are times when the pauses are extremely uncomfortable between when someone says something to him and when he responds. How can I support him to become more confident and outgoing, and what should I do when people ask him questions and it takes too long for him to answer? -- Shy Son

DEAR SHY SON: Your son may need to venture out on his own so that he doesn’t have your support in helping to answer questions. You may want to bring him to events with you, remind him of key small-talk points that are specific to where you are (topic of event, key parties who should be in attendance, personal interests, etc.), and let him know that you want to circulate independently. Encourage him to make eye contact and small talk. If he practices, he will be able to say things when he is nervous. It’s easiest for you to bite your tongue if you aren’t there at all. Let him go for it on his own.

Make sure he knows you are not abandoning him. Instead, you are setting him up for success by preparing him and then giving him space to interact with others independent of you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenager comes home almost every week trying out new slang. So far, nothing is profane. Some of the sayings hail from back in my day, a thousand years ago. She hates when I tell her that, though. She wants to think that she and her friends are original. Should I just let her think that her new words are new to the world? Part of me wants her to have a sense of history, but I don’t want to spoil the moment when she is sharing her discoveries with me. -- New Slang

DEAR NEW SLANG: Right now, what’s most important is for you and your daughter to enjoy your time together and for her to feel open to sharing her experiences with you. Bite your tongue until a moment comes when you can share a story with her about your life and the ways in which you expressed yourself. There is no need to rush. Feel comfortable letting her have her space to try out the sayings that she is bringing home. Let her define them for you, based on her generation’s understanding of the terms.

Consider that you have plenty of time to tell her what happened when you were growing up. When you do, trust that she will take in your stories, even if she doesn’t react to them in the moment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I totally disagree with your response to the person who stated that her workplace -- which smelled of body odor due to people not wearing deodorant -- does not allow employees to wear fragrances. You advised her to wear it anyway.

This is a hygiene issue. Administration should clarify that deodorant can be worn. Advising a person to wear fragrance is not advised. There are more people allergic to fragrance than to deodorant. -- Follow the Rules

DEAR FOLLOW THE RULES: Several readers wrote in about this question and my response -- pointing out that many people have allergies and other sensitivities to fragrance, and I was not right in saying it is OK to wear fragrance. You are right.

And yet, I will just say that sometimes one action can provoke another. It might be easier for a company to address a fragrance issue than a hygiene issue -- at first. Why? Because whether or not it is correct, it can be difficult for people to tell each other that they smell bad due to body odor rather than an abundance of fragrance. The conversation starter could be about fragrance and then it could lead to cleanliness. People smell lots of different ways, and I have learned that where people come from often affects their body odor, mainly due to what they consume. This is a difficult path to navigate without hurting somebody’s feelings. But you can do it. And a good human resources team should be able to speak to cleanliness in a general but direct way, hopefully leading to a fresh-smelling office.

In my book, the reader should do whatever it takes to get the company to double down on hygiene. But it is true that there are plenty of people who cannot tolerate strong fragrances. Let’s make sure that when the issue is addressed in a work setting that poor hygiene is considered as seriously as strong fragrance. Otherwise, I am not willing to say that the fragrance wearer has to succumb to peer pressure.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)