DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is a young adult looking for a job. He just finished college and hasn't found anything yet. When I talk to him, I notice that he has adopted some poor speech habits -- from school, I guess. He constantly says "like" in almost every sentence. I know that many young people do that, but I find it annoying. I wonder if this is distracting in his job interviews. How can I help my son to clean up his speech? -- LAZY LANGUAGE

DEAR LAZY LANGUAGE: Many people clutter their language these days with "like," "you know," "um," "I mean" and other variations on such things. These are common habits, and, yes, they are definitely noticeable in interviews as well as in general speech.

An exercise that I teach my clients who are learning how to speak publicly is to pay attention to their speaking and to notice when the habit pops up. I suggest that you buddy up with someone and make it fun -- so that it isn't embarrassing. Every time the perpetrator or the buddy notices it, they tap their nose to note that it happened. It's good to laugh, but also note the frequency. Notice what it feels like right before you say the thing. Then, invite yourself not to say it as soon as the feeling begins. Instead of saying the word or phrase, take a breath.

Further, become an expert at telling your own story and at owning the information needed for the interview you are in. When you are grounded in the knowledge of the subject at hand and have control of your breath, you have a much better chance of articulating your thoughts powerfully, clearly and without cluttered language.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in the city but near an empty lot. Whenever the weather changes, mice come into my apartment. It is so annoying. I do not leave food out. My house is clean, but like clockwork, they get in somehow. I feel confident that they will be coming again soon, as the seasons have already begun to change. My kids have invited friends to sleep over, and I'm worried that a mouse might show itself in the night. Should I cancel the play date? -- MOUSE HOUSE

DEAR MOUSE HOUSE: You may want to hire an exterminator to come in, assess your rodent problem and help you set up a system for catching them. Do that first, so that you can get a handle on how to catch the mice. These animals are smart and do adapt to the situation, so having professional help is a wise way to rid yourself of them.

As far as the sleepover goes, go ahead and make the arrangements. Be sure that no poison or traps are accessible to the children. Make sure they do not leave any food out. If a mouse appears, it will run away immediately, so they cannot be hurt by it. Just be sure that the children are nowhere near poison.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to a bridal shower but was unable to attend because of a last-minute scheduling conflict. I feel bad because I really like the woman who is getting married. I was wondering if I should get her a gift anyway. I already know that I will not be able to attend the wedding. It is a destination wedding, and a little pricey for my wallet. But I want to do something for her. Do I get her a shower gift and a wedding gift, even though I won't be attending either? What do you recommend? -- WHAT TO GIVE

DEAR WHAT TO GIVE: Think about the bride and what she would appreciate. If she has a registry for the shower and for the wedding, peruse each of them. You may be able to find affordable items that show your love for her without breaking the bank. You might also consider writing a check that you put in a lovely congratulatory card for your friend.

While you do not have to give her anything, a small token of your love for her and her new life with her husband will be greatly appreciated.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to like to shop with my friend from work. We like similar things and enjoy going to the mall or to little boutiques. It's a fun way to pass the time, and it has enhanced our friendship.

I have noticed recently, though, that she has begun to buy identical things that I buy. We will be looking for clothing or shoes or accessories, and I will make a decision. Next thing you know, she has either bought the same thing at the same time, or later she will go back and pick it up. I'm talking same item, same color -- identical. I don't like that. I have my own style. There are enough items in the store for the two of us to make our own independent choices. How can I get her to stop copying me? -- COPYCAT

DEAR COPYCAT: Sounds like your work friend has gotten a little too close for comfort. She may not even realize how off-putting it is for her to co-opt your style so directly and regularly. It's true that, as the saying goes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But your friend has taken it too far.

How can you stop it? Stop shopping with her, for starters. When she asks you to shop with her, tell her no thank you, and go by yourself. You may need to research alternative stores or brand names too, so that you make it more difficult for her to sleuth out your next purchases.

Beyond that, it is likely that this friend will ask you what is wrong and why you don't hang out anymore. When she is ready to ask the question is when she will be most able to hear what you have to say. Then, you can tell her how disappointed you are that she chose to copy you so precisely. Explain that her habit of buying whatever you buy is crossing your privacy line and making you feel very uncomfortable.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City and often see so-called boldface named people walking around. The other day I saw Charlie Rose walking along Central Park. I have seen actors in Soho and politicians in Harlem. Whenever I see these people, I want to say hello, but they don't know me. I fear that they will be offended if I were to walk over to them to say hi and that I appreciate their work. Do you know any guidelines for how to approach famous people who are out and about? -- NOT A GROUPIE

DEAR NOT A GROUPIE: Part of the unwritten covenant for celebrities is that they understand that people in the public may recognize them and want to engage. Honestly, for some of these people, their livelihood depends on the public knowing and appreciating them and being willing to spend money to see them do their work. With that understanding, celebrities should expect that people who are out and about just as they are may recognize them and want to say hello.

As one of those public onlookers, what you should do is put yourself in that person's shoes. If you were walking down the street and someone recognized you, what would you want that person to do? Saying hello is acceptable. Touching is not. Asking someone to stop and take a picture is acceptable only if, after greeting the person, the two of you pause and speak to each other for a bit and it feels natural to ask. After saying hello, you can thank the person for their work, you can state that you like whatever they do, and you can wish them well. You should not try to take over the moment or get them sidetracked for any reason.

Times when you should not attempt to engage someone you don't know, celebrity or not, include when the person is deeply engaged with someone else, when the person is eating, when the person is using the restroom, and when the person is clearly involved in something else.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is coming to visit me for a couple of weeks. He lives across the country, and I am very happy that he will be visiting. We have been friends for more than 20 years. I know we will have a great time.

My only issue is that he just informed me that he is going to need to borrow my car while he is staying with me. I do not feel comfortable with that. For one, I don't let anybody drive my car. I don't want to be responsible for insuring another driver and I don't want a chance that my car could be damaged. Also, this friend has had a car accident before. How do I say no without seeming rude? -- NO DRIVING

DEAR NO DRIVING: There is no rule that says that you must allow anyone to drive your car. You can simply say no. Tell your friend that you are happy to welcome him into your home, but that you do not feel comfortable letting him drive your car. Suggest that he rent a car.

If he balks, be direct with him, explaining that you do not allow anyone to drive your car, for insurance reasons. If he continues to protest, remind him that he has previously had a car accident, and you cannot risk him having one in your car.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)