DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City and often see so-called boldface named people walking around. The other day I saw Charlie Rose walking along Central Park. I have seen actors in Soho and politicians in Harlem. Whenever I see these people, I want to say hello, but they don't know me. I fear that they will be offended if I were to walk over to them to say hi and that I appreciate their work. Do you know any guidelines for how to approach famous people who are out and about? -- NOT A GROUPIE

DEAR NOT A GROUPIE: Part of the unwritten covenant for celebrities is that they understand that people in the public may recognize them and want to engage. Honestly, for some of these people, their livelihood depends on the public knowing and appreciating them and being willing to spend money to see them do their work. With that understanding, celebrities should expect that people who are out and about just as they are may recognize them and want to say hello.

As one of those public onlookers, what you should do is put yourself in that person's shoes. If you were walking down the street and someone recognized you, what would you want that person to do? Saying hello is acceptable. Touching is not. Asking someone to stop and take a picture is acceptable only if, after greeting the person, the two of you pause and speak to each other for a bit and it feels natural to ask. After saying hello, you can thank the person for their work, you can state that you like whatever they do, and you can wish them well. You should not try to take over the moment or get them sidetracked for any reason.

Times when you should not attempt to engage someone you don't know, celebrity or not, include when the person is deeply engaged with someone else, when the person is eating, when the person is using the restroom, and when the person is clearly involved in something else.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is coming to visit me for a couple of weeks. He lives across the country, and I am very happy that he will be visiting. We have been friends for more than 20 years. I know we will have a great time.

My only issue is that he just informed me that he is going to need to borrow my car while he is staying with me. I do not feel comfortable with that. For one, I don't let anybody drive my car. I don't want to be responsible for insuring another driver and I don't want a chance that my car could be damaged. Also, this friend has had a car accident before. How do I say no without seeming rude? -- NO DRIVING

DEAR NO DRIVING: There is no rule that says that you must allow anyone to drive your car. You can simply say no. Tell your friend that you are happy to welcome him into your home, but that you do not feel comfortable letting him drive your car. Suggest that he rent a car.

If he balks, be direct with him, explaining that you do not allow anyone to drive your car, for insurance reasons. If he continues to protest, remind him that he has previously had a car accident, and you cannot risk him having one in your car.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 5-year-old who is a good kid. He gets along with most people. This includes a teenage girl who lives in my building. Her mother came to us to say she would be available for babysitting if we ever need help. Occasionally my husband and I do go out, and we could use a part-time sitter. I worry, though, that this young lady may not be attentive enough. My child has a good temperament, but he's still 5. He has to be watched at all times. Would you allow a teenager to watch a 5-year-old? -- BABYSITTING DILEMMA

DEAR BABYSITTING DILEMMA: I recommend that you invite the teenager to have a trial run at watching your child while you are at home. Create a "play date" for the two of them, for which the teenager agrees to spend four or five hours, whatever amount of time you would normally be out of the house, with your son.

Make a written list of things to do, what he likes and doesn't like, what he eats, etc. so that she has a guide to follow. Explain your expectations, especially about never leaving him alone, TV usage, personal phone calls and anything else that you want to regulate. Then make yourself scarce. Look in only occasionally. She has to establish a rhythm with your son independent of you. When you observe them, look for signs that he feels safe and comfortable. Trust your instincts. If she seems competent, hire her for a short outing. The length of time can extend along with your comfort level.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started my business around the same time as several of my friends. We are all doing different things, but I have to admit that I am struggling. I know it takes time to get things off the ground, but I am still in the red and really don't have the funds to keep going much longer.

I talked to one friend this week and learned that her business has grown so much that she's trying to figure out how to manage her expansion. Meanwhile, I feel like such a failure. Do you think I should ask my friends what they are doing that is making their businesses work? How can I get good advice on what to do next? -- GETTING OFF THE GROUND

DEAR GETTING OFF THE GROUND: If you consider any of your friends to be a confidante who will be honest and helpful to you, you can talk openly about your situation with them. It can be helpful to talk to other small business owners about what works and what is challenging in their businesses as you talk about yours.

But don't stop there. Utilize the free services offered by the Small Business Administration. The SBA offers many programs, templates and other resources to help small businesses grow. They also have business loan and grant programs, so contact your local office. Learn more through sba.gov.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I conducted a workshop for a client, and we did a survey to see how the participants felt about it. I thought it went really well, and most of the participants agreed and shared bits about their experiences in the comments. About a third of the participants didn’t like it, though. I know I shouldn’t hold on to those negative comments, but I can’t help myself. I feel like I can do better and may be able to win everybody over. I’m wondering if I should ask the administrator if I can contact the participants to ask for more feedback.

My direct supervisor told me that she thought the survey reflected well on my abilities and added that nobody gets a perfect score. Should I leave it at that? I just feel like I can probably do better if they tell me what they want. -- Survey the Participants

DEAR SURVEY THE PARTICIPANTS: Our natural inclination, as human beings, seems to be to become fixated on imperfection. I believe this is something that we should resist. You just explained that you received overwhelmingly positive feedback from the survey results of your workshop. That is excellent. Accept that. It is OK to take note of any areas where you can improve, but you should not attempt to identify participants who may be able to further clarify their thinking. Typically, surveys are anonymous, so finding out could be challenging anyway. Instead of focusing on the negative comments, accept them and work on whatever was pointed out. Build on where you are. And know that it is normal for some people to offer criticism. Take it for what it’s worth, but do not amplify it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just turned 21, and I decided to dye my hair. I’m still in college, so it’s not that big of a deal there. I’m worried that my conservative parents will blast me when I come home from school and they see me with green hair. I think it’s fun, but I know how cautious they are about everything. I needed to do something for myself, and I figured this wasn’t so bad. I can always dye it back. I can do it way before a summer job interview. But also my field of interest is more liberal than that of my parents. It might not be an issue for work. How can I get my parents to lighten up? I know it’s going to be an problem when I see them. -- It’s Just Hair

DEAR IT’S JUST HAIR: You already know that your parents take the stands that they do out of caution for your health and your future. They are part of a different generation, for whom it was much harder to get a job and build a successful life if you presented yourself in any type of extreme way.

Your job is to educate them. For starters, you can explain that hair color can be changed easily, so when it is time for you to apply for jobs or internships, you can become more conservative -- if that is what you choose. You do need to point out that it is now time for you to begin to make independent choices that may not always reflect theirs. This doesn’t mean that you do not love or respect them. It means that you have to live your own life.

Let them know that you do not intend to do anything to embarrass them or yourself, but that you realize that you are not as conservative as they are.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)