DEAR HARRIETTE: I have one child who is quiet and reserved, and my other child is extroverted. I have tried to get them to do things together and to have the extroverted one help the shy one to make friends. All of my efforts seem to make things worse. They are very different people, even though they are close in age. I need to figure out how to help both of them to grow up and flourish. I don’t really have any good ideas about how to do that. Can you help? -- Two Different Kids

DEAR TWO DIFFERENT KIDS: Stop lumping your children into one basket. Look at them individually. Talk to them and ask about their interests, desires and fears. Find out what makes each tick. Think about what you learn and what you already know about your children, then determine what schools, extracurricular activities and support they may need to fulfill their destinies.

Engage the guidance counselor at school to help you with academic questions. If needed, get a therapist to work with one or both of your children to identify any mental health concerns that need to be addressed.

Most important, you need to accept that it is perfectly normal for your children to be unique. When you fully accept that and treat each one as needed, you give them permission to be themselves. While you do want them to love each other, you cannot force them to be friends or to take up the slack where it’s needed. They are children. Allow them to be just that. As the adult, your role is to support them as they grow up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just met a woman in her 40s while standing in line buying school supplies. She was getting them for herself while I was buying things for my kids.

I started talking to her and learned that she is going back to school so that she can change her career. She is not rich. She seemed like a regular middle-class woman. I found myself mesmerized by her. I have long thought that I should go back to school, but I never imagined that I could afford it. Meeting her made me think it could happen for me. I’m afraid, though. When I help my kids with homework, I sometimes feel so stupid. How can I drum up the confidence to start the process of getting more education? -- Higher Education

DEAR HIGHER EDUCATION: Consider it a blessing and a boost that you met that woman in line. Of course you can go back to school. The good news is that there are so many programs available. Depending on your interest, you should be able to find something that is affordable and can help you to reach your goals. Look into community college as a jumping-off point. Some are free. All are affordable. You can also look into online courses. And be sure to look into scholorships.

Figure out what your interests are and then go digging online. Seize the day. There is something out there that’s perfect for you!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I seem to have become the go-between when my girlfriend and her brother get into arguments. I am an only child, so I am unaccustomed to seeing family members go at each other so viciously. They are quick to argue and can be downright mean when they are talking to -- or yelling at -- each other.

When I’m around, I can help them see that their points of view aren’t necessarily that different. But their intensity scares me. Should I continue to help them or just step away? I’m worried that they will end up hating each other if they can’t figure out another way to communicate. -- Like Cats and Dogs

DEAR LIKE CATS AND DOGS: Check in with your girlfriend to find out if she values your interventions. It could be that she appreciates your perspective and that it helps her and her brother to look at whatever they are discussing from a different viewpoint. What you want to avoid, though, is having to be present at every interaction.

Tell your girlfriend about your worries for her and her brother. Encourage her to approach him in a more loving, respectful way. One thing that adult children need to do is to look at their lives with fresh eyes. Whatever their triggers were as children do not have to remain triggers. They can look at their lives and recognize that they have the power to interact with each other using tools that they likely have developed over time and use with other people.

DEAR HARRIETTE I work freelance, and in recent years, I have not gotten as much work as I had in the past. I have also not been the best at keeping in touch with my clients. I was so busy working that I typically have not sent them notes or otherwise kept them engaged. Do you think it’s a good idea to send out a mailer or start making calls to let some of my former clients know that I’m still working? I don’t want to be pushy, but I do need to do something. -- How to Re-engage

DEAR HOW TO RE-ENGAGE: Definitely reach out to your former clients to let them know that you are still around, and point out the services that you offer now. You might consider offering them a discount if they decide to work with you again. Put a time limit on the discount to help jumpstart engagement with any clients who may need your services.

In the future, stay in touch with clients. Consider creating an online newsletter or blog that updates people in your database about what you are doing. Periodically offering discount coupons to all of your clients is another way to keep them in your orbit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked the same job for many years -- decades, really -- and I got laid off this summer. I have meager savings and no idea of what I can possibly do to take care of my family. I do not have a college degree, but I do have a lot of job experience in office administration. I feel so sad about what’s next. How can I change my attitude and find work? -- Need a New Job

DEAR NEED A NEW JOB: My mother taught me years ago that when I feel down, it’s time to count my blessings. Literally make a list of the things you are grateful for. Then write down what you are good at doing. Be specific as you record your attributes, even if some of these things extend beyond your work experience. Think of your extracurricular activities and all the engagements in your life. Get a sense of what you consider to be your strengths. Next, imagine what job would match your abilities. Create a resume -- or more than one -- that highlights your skills in that particular area.

Now it’s time to look for a job that would value those attributes. You can visit one of the many job posting sites online to see what’s available. Contact your network of friends to see if they know of any jobs. Put yourself out there. And know that you may need to take a job that is not in your most natural area of expertise. That’s okay, too. I know many people who have chosen to drive for Uber, Lyft or some other car service and others who have gone to retail or telemarketing while on the job search. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has three beautiful children. He periodically posts photos of them on social media doing all kinds of amazing things. I feel like such a failure compared to him. My children are good students and generally good people, but they are not world travelers or straight-A students. I know I shouldn’t be comparing my kids to his, but it is hard not to. How can I stop being unsettled by my friend’s children’s success? -- The Joneses

DEAR THE JONESES: Social media is a forum that people use to post celebratory moments. Look at your friend’s posts with that in mind. As a proud papa, he is pointing to highlights in their lives. This in no way means that his children have good times only. You know this because you know your own children. Instead of getting obsessed with other people’s posts, spend less time online and more time being with your family. You do not need to post anything about them. What you must do is pay attention to them and nurture their strengths as you help them remain good people.

Further, send good wishes to your friend, and trust that your children are great, as they are. This can help you release the envy that is crippling your spirit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)