DEAR HARRIETTE: I seem to have become the go-between when my girlfriend and her brother get into arguments. I am an only child, so I am unaccustomed to seeing family members go at each other so viciously. They are quick to argue and can be downright mean when they are talking to -- or yelling at -- each other.

When I’m around, I can help them see that their points of view aren’t necessarily that different. But their intensity scares me. Should I continue to help them or just step away? I’m worried that they will end up hating each other if they can’t figure out another way to communicate. -- Like Cats and Dogs

DEAR LIKE CATS AND DOGS: Check in with your girlfriend to find out if she values your interventions. It could be that she appreciates your perspective and that it helps her and her brother to look at whatever they are discussing from a different viewpoint. What you want to avoid, though, is having to be present at every interaction.

Tell your girlfriend about your worries for her and her brother. Encourage her to approach him in a more loving, respectful way. One thing that adult children need to do is to look at their lives with fresh eyes. Whatever their triggers were as children do not have to remain triggers. They can look at their lives and recognize that they have the power to interact with each other using tools that they likely have developed over time and use with other people.

DEAR HARRIETTE I work freelance, and in recent years, I have not gotten as much work as I had in the past. I have also not been the best at keeping in touch with my clients. I was so busy working that I typically have not sent them notes or otherwise kept them engaged. Do you think it’s a good idea to send out a mailer or start making calls to let some of my former clients know that I’m still working? I don’t want to be pushy, but I do need to do something. -- How to Re-engage

DEAR HOW TO RE-ENGAGE: Definitely reach out to your former clients to let them know that you are still around, and point out the services that you offer now. You might consider offering them a discount if they decide to work with you again. Put a time limit on the discount to help jumpstart engagement with any clients who may need your services.

In the future, stay in touch with clients. Consider creating an online newsletter or blog that updates people in your database about what you are doing. Periodically offering discount coupons to all of your clients is another way to keep them in your orbit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked the same job for many years -- decades, really -- and I got laid off this summer. I have meager savings and no idea of what I can possibly do to take care of my family. I do not have a college degree, but I do have a lot of job experience in office administration. I feel so sad about what’s next. How can I change my attitude and find work? -- Need a New Job

DEAR NEED A NEW JOB: My mother taught me years ago that when I feel down, it’s time to count my blessings. Literally make a list of the things you are grateful for. Then write down what you are good at doing. Be specific as you record your attributes, even if some of these things extend beyond your work experience. Think of your extracurricular activities and all the engagements in your life. Get a sense of what you consider to be your strengths. Next, imagine what job would match your abilities. Create a resume -- or more than one -- that highlights your skills in that particular area.

Now it’s time to look for a job that would value those attributes. You can visit one of the many job posting sites online to see what’s available. Contact your network of friends to see if they know of any jobs. Put yourself out there. And know that you may need to take a job that is not in your most natural area of expertise. That’s okay, too. I know many people who have chosen to drive for Uber, Lyft or some other car service and others who have gone to retail or telemarketing while on the job search. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has three beautiful children. He periodically posts photos of them on social media doing all kinds of amazing things. I feel like such a failure compared to him. My children are good students and generally good people, but they are not world travelers or straight-A students. I know I shouldn’t be comparing my kids to his, but it is hard not to. How can I stop being unsettled by my friend’s children’s success? -- The Joneses

DEAR THE JONESES: Social media is a forum that people use to post celebratory moments. Look at your friend’s posts with that in mind. As a proud papa, he is pointing to highlights in their lives. This in no way means that his children have good times only. You know this because you know your own children. Instead of getting obsessed with other people’s posts, spend less time online and more time being with your family. You do not need to post anything about them. What you must do is pay attention to them and nurture their strengths as you help them remain good people.

Further, send good wishes to your friend, and trust that your children are great, as they are. This can help you release the envy that is crippling your spirit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to be the one in my friend group who paid for everything. I earned a lot more money, so whenever our group would go out, I would pick up the tab. I had no problem doing that. But times have changed. I got downsized at my job, and I don’t have enough disposable income to foot the bill anymore.

I created the expectation in the group that I take care of everything. I am embarrassed to say anything to them about it. Plus, I worry that I will lose my friends if I can’t pay for them anymore. I know that sounds weird, but I never thought about it before. What if that’s the only reason some of them have stayed my friend? I realize I’m losing confidence because of my situation. I don’t know what to do. -- Losing it All

DEAR LOSING IT ALL: Step back. Take a deep breath. Collect yourself. Your life has changed, and you need to come to terms with that. You have to own your truth before you let your friends know. There is no shame in not being able to be the bank for your friends. It was generous of you in the past, but those days are over. In terms of your concern about whether you will lose friends because your pockets aren’t as deep, watch how that unfolds. If you see that some “friends” check out after you aren’t rolling in the dough, good riddance to them. Don’t take it personally. That means you needed to weed them out anyway.

You will need to tell your friends that you can no longer pay for your get-togethers. You may be surprised to learn that some friends prefer that. Being equal to one another can be empowering to people. You do not need to feel guilty in any way for not being able to pay for the whole party.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a party earlier this year, and two of my guests ended up falling for each other. They told me a few weeks ago, and I am happy for them. I never considered myself a matchmaker before.

Now I worry about what happens if it doesn’t work out. From what I know about these people, he is super chill and she is a live wire. If it doesn’t work out, will I be held responsible? Yes, they are both adults, but still, they met on my watch. Am I freaking out for no reason? How should I react to these two being “in love” and claiming that it happened at my party? -- Feeling Responsible

DEAR FEELING RESPONSIBLE: You are being Debbie Downer. Lighten up. Your friends have shared with you that they are grateful that you created a space where they were able to find each other. This is wonderful. It is also not a guarantee of anything. You should feel no responsibility for the health or future of their bond. Instead, wish them well, and let them work out their relationship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)