DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like many of the friends I’ve known since I was in high school are resentful of me ever since I’ve become an influencer. I feel like I’m being mistreated and get ditched by them occasionally. I’m not sure if it is me changing or them being jealous of me. I want to talk to them about this before I end our friendships. How should I discuss this with them? -- Bad Influence

DEAR BAD INFLUENCE: We do now live in a culture where being an “influencer” is a thing. But it has always been true that some people in a community stand out as the ones who attract more attention than others, possibly get more opportunities and even make more money. When a person rises up the food chain, so to speak, and becomes attractive to a much broader group of people, it can be off-putting to the person’s core group of friends. Given the way that social media works with likes and friends and metrics, it can be daunting for real-life friends to see your profile grow. Honestly, it is probably daunting for you, too.

How you can attempt to manage your personal life and your influencer life is to remember that one is work and one is not. Your personal life should remain important to you because those relationships should be grounded in people actually knowing you, not just what you present to the public.

Speak to your friends honestly. Let them know that you do hope that your influencer status will help you with your work pursuits, but you do not want to lose their friendships. Tell them how important they are to you. Remind them that you knew them way before you began to reach influencer status, and you value them tremendously.

Tell them it has hurt your feelings when they have ditched you. Ask if you have done something to offend them. Talk out whatever is going on. That’s how you will know if you will be able to survive this bumpy part of your friendships.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has been rebellious and unreliable for years now, and it stresses me out to interact with him. He is 19 years old and leaving for his second year of college soon. I want to be a better parent, and I think I need to change my parenting strategy. I gave him too much freedom growing up, and now I want to find ways to discipline him, but it is difficult because he is older. What measures can I take? -- Too Late

DEAR TOO LATE: The best thing you can do is have a frank discussion with your son where you tell him what you think about his behavior and where you believe it is leading him. Apologize for being too lenient with him when he was younger. Point out specific behaviors you have witnessed that have not served him well, but also point out anything good and hopeful about him that you can muster.

Tell him what you want for him and his life, and recommend that he get focused so that he can accomplish his goals. Remind him that he is independent now. Make it clear that you want to help him in any way that you can, but now is the time for him to help himself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who had breast cancer several years ago. She seems to be in the safe zone, so to speak, in that six years have gone by. She told me that if you pass five years without a relapse, you are considered to be cancer-free. I started thinking that maybe this is something I should celebrate with her. Just as I was going to suggest doing something special in honor of her good health, she told me that another friend of hers just died from complications of some kind of cancer that came back after several years.

My friend is so sad and I want to support her, but I don’t think a celebration is in order at this time. What can I do to cheer her up and let her know how grateful I am that she is alive? I don’t want to be insensitive. I just want to show her that she is greatly loved. -- Cancer Be Gone

DEAR CANCER BE GONE: You do not have to create a special occasion to spend time with your friend and show her your love. Now that her good friend has died, she will likely appreciate your support and attention. Invite her to do something upbeat that she enjoys that will allow you two to have fun and talk to each other. Let her guide the conversation about her health and her friend. Do your best to be a good listener, and refrain from being an inquisitor.

When people lose loved ones, they often think about their own mortality. This is especially true for cancer survivors. Your best way of showing your love is to listen and follow your friend’s cues. She will let you know what she wants to discuss.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had several medical challenges this year that have taken me to the hospital. Nothing was earth-shattering, but I now have a pile of bills from the hospital and from various doctors. I can’t afford to pay all of these bills, and I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed. I used to be afraid of bill collectors for my credit card. Now it’s medical bill collectors. What can I do to manage this? I have been avoiding them, but obviously that’s a bad idea. -- Medical Debt

DEAR MEDICAL DEBT: Just as with credit card debt, when you have mounting medical debt, you need to speak directly to your creditors. Let them know that you don’t mean to shirk your responsibility to pay your bills, but you do not have the means to pay in full at this time. Ask to establish a payment plan so that you can pay down your debt and prove that you are being responsible as you are being realistic about what you can handle financially.

Stay clear and focused when you speak to the bill collectors. Remember that their job is to recover as much money as they can. Generally, they will be willing to work with you as long as you show sincere commitment to pay the money you owe. You may also be able to negotiate a bit if you can prove financial hardship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has very fair skin, so I always caution her to stay out of the sun. This summer, she went away for the weekend with some of her high school friends, and when she returned, she had a severe sunburn. Her skin continues to peel, and she is uncomfortable.

I am worried about my daughter. Skin cancer has been an issue in our family, and I am scared that this could happen to her, probably not now but in the future. How can I get her to take this seriously? I know she wants to have fun with her friends, but lying out in the sun is like poison for her. -- Protect My Daughter

DEAR PROTECT MY DAUGHTER: Take your daughter to a dermatologist and have her skin examined carefully to learn what she should do to heal it and what damage has already occurred. Talk to the dermatologist about your family history so that all the details that you know are on the table. Ask the doctor to explain to your daughter how to care for her skin. This should include specific details on how she can be in the sun.

Chances are, your daughter will go back into the sun again, so she should practice whatever precautions the dermatologist gives her. I have an Irish friend, for example, who loves the beach but whose skin is far too sensitive to soak up the rays. She has head-to-toe caftans and big floppy hats that she wears -- along with sunscreen with high levels of zinc -- to make it possible for her to enjoy the beach. Help your daughter create a safe way of being out in the sun so that she doesn’t have to miss out on fun with her friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been collecting books and magazines for years. I didn’t realize how many I have until I recently began working with my husband to declutter our home. I’m embarrassed to say that I have not read most of the books that I own. As I have been rediscovering many of them, I find myself putting them aside to read later. But this strategy isn’t working. I now have a corner that has a huge pile of books to be read. The goal is to get the books out of my house. Can you recommend a strategy for getting rid of these books? -- Too Many Books

DEAR TOO MANY BOOKS: I love the approach that Marie Kondo has toward decluttering your space. I will paraphrase by saying that she recommends thanking each item for its presence in your life, then letting it go. You can adopt this practice with your books. If you have not looked at them, let alone read them, for months or years, it is time to say goodbye to them.

Consider making piles of books that will go to specific places or people. Categorize the books so that they are easy to distribute. Your local public library might be interested. Hospitals and senior centers sometimes want books. Used bookstores like the Strand or Half Price Books could be interested. Churches and community centers are great places to take books.

If that sorting ends up being too big a project, you can also find a Little Free Library to put them in, or just put them outside in boxes and write “TAKE ME” on the box. Someone will find a new home for them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)