DEAR READERS: Today is a day of remembrance. Because “war” seems to happen “over there” somewhere, many of us didn’t connect to the visceral realities of war and tragedy in an immediate way until this day, 9/11, 18 years ago.

There is hate in the world, and it can devastate us right here at home. We reserve this moment to express our sorrow that thousands of people lost their lives on this fateful day. We honor them and their sacrifice as we also resolve to find ways to make our world safer.

One of the things that I have liked about this election cycle is hearing so many ideas about what can be done to make our country stronger. Though I am not espousing one candidate over another, I want to point out a great idea that motivational speaker and author Marianne Williamson has offered -- to create a federal Department of Peace. I love the idea of making a conscious effort to invoke peaceful action from the top down, and to create programming and other activities to promote the sharing of peace among us.

I learned long ago from my parents that whatever we focus our attention on is what we bring to bear in the world. What if we focused on peace? What would our actions be if we used that as our lens?

I have been practicing meditation for many years, and a principle that we follow is “see God in each other.” Think about that: In most spiritual traditions, there is the belief that however you understand God, you must also believe that what invigorates you -- what makes you conscious and alive -- is that which God ignited within you. Consider that idea. If the life force inside you and me springs from God, then what if we look for that goodness in people when we engage them? Especially when we are facing friction, discomfort, strong emotions or anything negative, what if we choose to speak to God within those people rather than to grasp the worst in them and call that out?

I have tried this many times. It is not easy to practice looking for goodness in someone when you are angry or upset. It is much easier to have thoughts and feelings and sometimes express words that stoke negative reactions. But what if you choose not to let the bad thoughts in? What if you choose to search for goodness and peace? What if you practice forgiveness rather than holding onto negativity?

If this sounds way too theoretical to you, make it concrete. Think about a person or situation that upsets you. How have you addressed it in the past? Did you let your emotions get the best of you? Were you level-headed? What happened based on your behavior? What control did you engage or relinquish in that experience? Notice how you behaved and how you felt afterward. My experience is that when we do not fall into the depths of negativity, we create space for peace, love, forgiveness and possibility.

Even in the worst situations -- like the aftermath of 9/11 -- when we make space for love even when we experience pain, there is room for healing. We may never know why people had so much hatred for our country that they would choose to hurt us in this way. But maybe offering love even to those who want to hurt us may help to heal those wounds and neutralize that hate. We can make the choice to do what many church congregations do every Sunday -- pass the peace.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hit it off with a new friend, and we’ve been chatting on social media. We have exchanged numbers and have been texting every day. The conversation flowed smoothly.

Recently, I've been noticing a pullback. He started to take several hours to respond to my messages, then suddenly and completely stopped. I waited a couple of days before sending more messages. I then sent a message asking if everything was going well, and I received no response. Initially I hoped that nothing bad happened to him, but my gut tells me that something fishy is going on. Why would a person cut off communication so abruptly? -- Stopped Short

DEAR STOPPED SHORT: Chances are, this man is either married or in a committed relationship. That he was totally engaged and communicating regularly with you only to abruptly stop suggests that outside forces were involved.

While it can be disconcerting to have enjoyed so much one-on-one time with him only to have him disappear, it is probably best for you to cut your losses. You cannot force him to write to you. Whatever happened has taken him away from you. Let him go; if he does resurface, he will need to explain what happened, but I wouldn’t wait for him to return.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I witnessed horrific behavior by the leader of a work project to a summer intern. The project leader was rude and condescending in the most unprofessional ways to a young woman who had come to volunteer for the summer and who was trying her best to complete the task at hand. The project leader has been known to berate people sometimes, but this was out of control.

When we had a private moment, I reached out to the young woman to make sure she was OK; she was not. She has since left the company to go back to college, but the damage was done. What else can I do to support her? Saying something to the project leader probably won’t do a thing. She is bull-headed and mean. Since I need my job, I’m afraid to approach her. Our company is small, so we don’t have a human resources director. How can I help? -- Not a Bystander

DEAR NOT A BYSTANDER: Sometimes you have to stand in harm’s way to effect change. You say you are afraid to speak up because you could lose your job. It’s likely that the reason this woman continues to go off on people is because others have been afraid to stand up to her.

Since the young woman is already gone, you can wait until the next time this woman bullies someone and speak up to defend the other person. You can use a lighthearted tone, asking the boss to lay off the person, or you can be more sober about it and speak to her privately and ask if she would consider being less caustic when dealing with employees. Tell her how uncomfortable the interaction made you feel, and point out that it’s hard for people to be productive when they feel they can do nothing right.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I return to college, there are a couple of people I will be seeing for the first time since the semester ended who I promised to make plans with and didn’t end up seeing. While some of this was my fault, sometimes the other person flaked on me, which upset me.

I feel awkward facing them, but we will probably just act as close as we were before summer break. Should I mention anything to them? Is it worth losing a friend or two as a result of me calling out my “college friends”? -- College Friend

DEAR COLLEGE FRIEND: If you want to own up to your lack of follow-through over the summer, by all means say something to your friends. You can greet them and let them know how happy you are to see them and apologize for not getting together over the summer as you had planned. Don’t make a big deal of it, though. Don’t call out anybody for not following through. It is common for people to pledge to get together over the break but not end up doing it.

Rather than holding a grudge against anyone or feeling bad about yourself, just acknowledge that the get-togethers did not happen. Vow to do better next time. Be more mindful of making commitments to others. Do your best not to say that you are going to do something unless you feel confident that you will be able to make it happen.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lose my contacts easily due to my habit of rubbing my eyes. I want to get this habit out of my system, and I also want to be better at not panicking when I have only one contact in my eye. My eyesight is so bad that I can see only what is right in front of me, and I get headaches when I lose one of my contacts. What can I do to eliminate this habit and also make sure I can do my job properly if I lose a contact? -- Bad Eyes

DEAR BAD EYES: Check with your ophthalmologist to see if moistening eye drops will help you. You may be rubbing your eyes because they are dry. Instead of constantly rubbing, you may want to use drops. You need to train yourself to keep your hands away from your eyes.

Further, you should have a pair of backup contacts and a pair of backup glasses that you keep with you. If you lose a contact lens, you should have either handy so that you don’t have to go all day with compromised sight. Even if the prescription in your glasses is thick, put them on if you have no other options. You are likely far more self-conscious about your glasses than others will be. What’s essential is that you see well and avoid unnecessary headaches.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)