DEAR HARRIETTE: I am preparing to give a speech in front of the underclassmen at the beginning of the school year. I still have a lot of time to prepare, but I want to make sure that I know exactly what to say. I want to improve my confidence with public speaking. Do you have any tips for me to feel less afraid when I am standing in front of a lot of people? -- Public Speaking

DEAR PUBLIC SPEAKING: Start by writing out your intention. What message do you want to communicate to the assembled group? Build a brief speech around this intention, and double-check that everything you say is in alignment with your criteria.

Paint a picture with your words; make sure every word you say shows the listeners what you are talking about. Be descriptive in your storytelling. This will help your audience feel connected to your words. Practice your speech in the mirror so that you grow comfortable with the words and with your delivery.

For the moment, remember that the people you will be addressing want you to do a good job. They will be there to hear what you have to say and to take it in. When you walk onto the stage, make eye contact with people, and notice the ones who are looking at you and smiling. Their positive vibes should boost your confidence. Walk standing straight and tall. When you reach the place where you will speak, take a moment and plant your feet hip-width apart. Look out at your audience. Give them a warm smile, take a breath and begin your speech. Be sure to look up at your audience frequently and engage them with your eyes and smile.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of close friends and I are planning a weekend getaway to a very natural area. Some of these friends plan to play video games and stay inside the entire time, and I don’t want this getaway to be an event like that. How can I convince some of my more introverted friends to go outside and experience something new? -- Weekend Getaway

DEAR WEEKEND GETAWAY: You cannot control your friends. What you should do is figure out which friends want to spend time in nature, and connect with them. Plan to do activities with them to ensure that you enjoy your time this weekend.

You can also attempt to coax the friends who have decided they will stay inside to come out for particular activities. You might point out that some of the games that they play on those devices they can actually do outside. You can also ask them, quite seriously, why they decided to come on the trip if they had no intention of going outside. Perhaps you can spark an honest conversation about choice and get everybody to open up about how they spend their time.

Gaming is popular and can be addictive for some people. While you aren’t trying to get your friends to stop their gaming habit, you can point out to them that gaming doesn’t have to consume every waking moment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is going to leave for college in a week, after he spent a gap year living at home, working and learning how to code. He’s my only son, and having him out the house will be a huge change for me and my husband. How would you adjust to having your child away from your home for the first time? -- Empty Nester

DEAR EMPTY NESTER: Our job as parents is to prepare our children to leave our homes and live independently; still, letting go remains one of the most challenging experiences for most parents. On one hand, you want to hold them extra close and love them up. On the other, it is your duty to give them the freedom to grow into their adult selves.

Expect high emotions in the first few days after your son leaves. Agree with your husband that you both may be extra sensitive to random things, and this is natural. Choose to fill your time with activities that both of you enjoy. Go out to dinner. Visit with friends. Have a movie night at home where you cuddle up and watch something entertaining.

Schedule your days and weeks so that you fill the space that your son once occupied. This will help you to grow accustomed to a new rhythm in your household. Take it one day at a time. This is no easy adjustment, but you can do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have known this friend of mine for a couple of years now, and he constantly takes advantage of people close to him. I am not sure if I should continue being friends with this guy. He really needs to be a better person to the people who consider him a friend.

I think the reason he acts this way is because he has issues with his family. I know him well enough to have seen him constantly having fights with his siblings and parents. I think when he gets upset with them, he takes it out on us. But I’m done with that. How can I get him to stop? -- Dealing With Bad Friend

DEAR DEALING WITH BAD FRIEND: Get clear on exactly what this friend is doing that you don’t like. What does it mean specifically that he is taking advantage of you and your friends? You need to identify the behavior, then bring it up with him.

The best way to handle this is directly. Tell your friend that you do not like the way he has been treating you. Give him examples so that it is crystal clear what you are talking about. Tell him you care about him and want to be his friend, but this unacceptable behavior has to stop.

Tread lightly when talking about the reasons for his actions. You should not bring up his bad family dynamics. You can ask him why he thinks he does the things he does to people he says are his friends. Listen to see if he has any inkling of what he’s doing and what his responsibility is to that end.

If he is unwilling or unable to stop the abusive behavior, you may have to back off for a while.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Before I had my son, I never cooked. My husband and I live in New York City, so it was easy to order in or go out; we could eat healthy at a good price. But after we had our son, we had to start preparing meals. I took on dinner and have become good at it.

My issue is that my family takes me for granted. I will make what I consider a masterpiece with exactly their favorites, and they won’t even say thank you. Or if we have all been out for a long day, they come home and chill while I immediately go in the kitchen and whip up something for us to eat. I realize that this is a parent’s job, especially a mom’s, but I also think I deserve some kind of basic acknowledgment. Whenever my husband or son do anything, I take the time to recognize their efforts. How can I get them to be more attentive? -- Good Manners

DEAR GOOD MANNERS: I have a friend who taught her children -- and, in turn, her husband -- to say thank you at every meal. It was part of the discipline she imposed on the family so that the children would learn how to be gracious. I watched her enforce this behavior, which included having them comment on what they enjoyed about the meal. This was her way of making it clear that it is important to acknowledge when people put forth effort on your behalf, even if they are your parents.

You should talk to your son and husband and remind them of the importance of acknowledging good actions. Expand it beyond the dinner table, because it really is broader than that. Point out times when you can thank each other for kindnesses. Train them to be more thoughtful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend likes to show me off on social media, but I do not enjoy her sharing everyday things that I do with her to her entire following. I realize this is probably due to her having bad relationships with horrible people in the past, and I’m unsure if I blame her for it. How can I tell her my boundaries without hurting her? -- Boundary Boyfriend

DEAR BOUNDARY BOYFRIEND: You have a right to your privacy, even in this age of social media. You have to talk to your girlfriend and let her know specifically what you approve for her to share and what you want to keep private. She won’t like this at first. People love being able to post whatever they want when they want these days, but you can put your foot down. Tell her that you value your privacy and your relationship, but that there are some things that you want to keep sacred. That includes the day-to-day of your relationship. If she is unable to comply, stop allowing her to take photos of the mundane experiences so that she doesn’t have them to post.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)