DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is going to leave for college in a week, after he spent a gap year living at home, working and learning how to code. He’s my only son, and having him out the house will be a huge change for me and my husband. How would you adjust to having your child away from your home for the first time? -- Empty Nester

DEAR EMPTY NESTER: Our job as parents is to prepare our children to leave our homes and live independently; still, letting go remains one of the most challenging experiences for most parents. On one hand, you want to hold them extra close and love them up. On the other, it is your duty to give them the freedom to grow into their adult selves.

Expect high emotions in the first few days after your son leaves. Agree with your husband that you both may be extra sensitive to random things, and this is natural. Choose to fill your time with activities that both of you enjoy. Go out to dinner. Visit with friends. Have a movie night at home where you cuddle up and watch something entertaining.

Schedule your days and weeks so that you fill the space that your son once occupied. This will help you to grow accustomed to a new rhythm in your household. Take it one day at a time. This is no easy adjustment, but you can do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have known this friend of mine for a couple of years now, and he constantly takes advantage of people close to him. I am not sure if I should continue being friends with this guy. He really needs to be a better person to the people who consider him a friend.

I think the reason he acts this way is because he has issues with his family. I know him well enough to have seen him constantly having fights with his siblings and parents. I think when he gets upset with them, he takes it out on us. But I’m done with that. How can I get him to stop? -- Dealing With Bad Friend

DEAR DEALING WITH BAD FRIEND: Get clear on exactly what this friend is doing that you don’t like. What does it mean specifically that he is taking advantage of you and your friends? You need to identify the behavior, then bring it up with him.

The best way to handle this is directly. Tell your friend that you do not like the way he has been treating you. Give him examples so that it is crystal clear what you are talking about. Tell him you care about him and want to be his friend, but this unacceptable behavior has to stop.

Tread lightly when talking about the reasons for his actions. You should not bring up his bad family dynamics. You can ask him why he thinks he does the things he does to people he says are his friends. Listen to see if he has any inkling of what he’s doing and what his responsibility is to that end.

If he is unwilling or unable to stop the abusive behavior, you may have to back off for a while.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Before I had my son, I never cooked. My husband and I live in New York City, so it was easy to order in or go out; we could eat healthy at a good price. But after we had our son, we had to start preparing meals. I took on dinner and have become good at it.

My issue is that my family takes me for granted. I will make what I consider a masterpiece with exactly their favorites, and they won’t even say thank you. Or if we have all been out for a long day, they come home and chill while I immediately go in the kitchen and whip up something for us to eat. I realize that this is a parent’s job, especially a mom’s, but I also think I deserve some kind of basic acknowledgment. Whenever my husband or son do anything, I take the time to recognize their efforts. How can I get them to be more attentive? -- Good Manners

DEAR GOOD MANNERS: I have a friend who taught her children -- and, in turn, her husband -- to say thank you at every meal. It was part of the discipline she imposed on the family so that the children would learn how to be gracious. I watched her enforce this behavior, which included having them comment on what they enjoyed about the meal. This was her way of making it clear that it is important to acknowledge when people put forth effort on your behalf, even if they are your parents.

You should talk to your son and husband and remind them of the importance of acknowledging good actions. Expand it beyond the dinner table, because it really is broader than that. Point out times when you can thank each other for kindnesses. Train them to be more thoughtful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend likes to show me off on social media, but I do not enjoy her sharing everyday things that I do with her to her entire following. I realize this is probably due to her having bad relationships with horrible people in the past, and I’m unsure if I blame her for it. How can I tell her my boundaries without hurting her? -- Boundary Boyfriend

DEAR BOUNDARY BOYFRIEND: You have a right to your privacy, even in this age of social media. You have to talk to your girlfriend and let her know specifically what you approve for her to share and what you want to keep private. She won’t like this at first. People love being able to post whatever they want when they want these days, but you can put your foot down. Tell her that you value your privacy and your relationship, but that there are some things that you want to keep sacred. That includes the day-to-day of your relationship. If she is unable to comply, stop allowing her to take photos of the mundane experiences so that she doesn’t have them to post.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been wearing my hair straight for many years, even though it is naturally curly. I’m now a student at a relatively conservative, mostly white school, and it may not seem like a big deal, but one way I fit in is by wearing my hair like my classmates.

The other day we had a terrible, unexpected rainstorm. I got caught out in the rain, and, needless to say, my hair turned -- it became curly and frizzy. I didn’t have a hair tie or anything, so I was exposed. It was awful. I felt so uncomfortable. My classmates had a million questions about my hair, and, of course, they wanted to touch it. I wanted to die. It’s not that I’m pretending I’m not black, but I didn’t want to draw attention to my differences through my hair. How should I handle this? -- Hair Sensitivity

DEAR HAIR SENSITIVITY: When my daughter was in middle school, she never wanted to wear her hair curly because nobody else at her school had curly hair. It took her moving to a new school where there was more diversity for her to fully embrace what I had been telling her all along -- namely, that she is blessed with hair that she can wear in many different styles, from curly to straight. She should embrace that flexibility. And so should you.

Rather than hiding away your natural hair, learn how to style it in more than one way that will showcase who you are. Be proud of your uniqueness. This change in attitude will help others to respect your differences as well. Allow your hair to be an icebreaker in conversations. You can absolutely reserve the right to tell people “hands off,” even as you more willingly share stories about your hair and your cultural experiences that may be different from theirs. Learn to laugh about getting caught in the rain, and include that story in your repertoire!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have friends who have been married for nearly 40 years. When my husband and I learned that we were going to have a baby, the husband told us to make sure that we put our marriage first, before our child. I thought that was odd. He said that the children go away. If you want to keep your marriage, you better make sure that you make it a priority.

I didn’t think much of it then, but now that our son is about to go away to college, I’m remembering his advice. We didn’t necessarily follow it. Today, we get along OK, but I worry about what will happen when our son is gone. Is it too late to get closer to my husband? -- Rekindle the Flame

DEAR REKINDLE THE FLAME: It is never too late to express your love for your husband. Now may be the perfect time to talk about this next phase in your lives and how you want to spend your time. Talk to your husband about the fact that your son will be leaving soon. Point out that this is your chance to spend more time together. Suggest that you start now by going on dates with each other and with other adult friends. Don’t wait until your son moves out to capture loving moments together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)