DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a single mom with two teenage children. I spent a lot of time and energy working with my daughter to ensure that she did well in school, and I got her into a great college.

My son is more difficult. I feel like I have run out of steam. He is not a great student, and I just can’t seem to rally for him the way I did for my daughter. I know this isn’t right. How can I get motivated to get him over the hump? He is a good kid and he deserves my attention, but I have not been able to give it like I know I should. -- Slacking Off

DEAR SLACKING OFF: Now is the time for you to dig deep in your mama reserves and think about your son. Yes, you are tired -- deservedly. Being a single mom can drain you of energy because you have to do everything. But you cannot give up now. Instead, rally the troops. Find your village, and ask for support. Talk to friends who may have children with academic challenges. Talk to the guidance counselor at your son’s school to find out what can be done to support his studies. Ask adult men in your life to step in as role models to help uplift your son and point him in the right direction.

Don’t feel that you are alone. There have to be people in your community who would be willing to talk to your son and offer a helping hand. Muster up the energy to enlist their support. This should give you energy as well.

Talk to your son, and tell him that you want him to succeed and you want to do everything you can to help him, but that you need him to step up, too. Partner with him during this time before he goes to college or work. He needs to know that you have his back. This should motivate him, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into an old flame the other day, and I have to tell you -- my heart started beating fast just like it did 15 years ago when I first met him. This man is fine! And he’s a sweetheart. We have only been friends because the timing was never right. That’s true now, too. I am married, though not happily. But I’m not trying to leave my husband or have an affair. I just am acknowledging that this man floats my boat. Do I dare tell him how my body reacts to him whenever I see him, or is this something that I keep to myself? -- Hot Flash

DEAR HOT FLASH: You already know the answer. If you can’t do anything about your feelings, don’t share them. It is not fair to anyone for you to state how this man makes you feel. Keep it to yourself. If possible, channel that energy back to your husband. Know that you have the capacity to still get all “hot and bothered” as a mature person. That’s got to be a good feeling. But do not let anyone in on the secret!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has been getting upset at my grandmother a lot recently, and it has been hard on my family. My mother gets stressed out because she regulates my grandmother’s medications and manages her diet, exercise and various health problems. However, she then ends up getting burnt out to the point that there is yelling and crying every few days. I’m not sure how much I can do, but I’d like to support both of them so this happens less. How can I be of help? -- Supportive Son

DEAR SUPPORTIVE SON: You can be a sounding board for your mother. She may need to talk about the stress she is under and let off some steam. Let her know that you are there for her and willing to help in whatever ways you can.

You can also do some research. Look online for local resources that may be able to help with elder care. If your grandmother can go to a care facility for older people during the day, it may provide some peace for your mother. Sometimes these can be affordable and insurance may cover the cost. Your mother can also look into a visiting nurse service, where a professional nurse comes in to tend to a patient’s needs, including administering medication. Look up these things and present options to your mother. Your initiative will please her and may also help her to find ways to ease the challenges she has.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been traveling a lot recently, and it has been limiting the amount of time I can be with my family. This has been hard on me, and also on my son and my wife. We like spending time together, and I have been gone several days a week on a consistent basis. What can I do to make the most out of my time with my family, and how can I feel like I’m there even when I’m not? -- Traveling Husband

DEAR TRAVELING HUSBAND: First of all, it is wonderful that you have a close-knit family and want to keep it that way. Thanks to technology, it won’t be as hard as you might think. Schedule daily calls with them while you are away. You can use FaceTime or some other program to be able to see and talk to them. If your schedule while traveling is somewhat erratic, it will still work, just be sure to put the call on your calendar. It could be early in the morning, later in the evening or at the dinner hour. The call doesn’t need to be long, but being able to see each other’s faces is priceless.

If you travel internationally, you may want to use the free app, WhatsApp. This will enable you to make free phone calls to each other from virtually anywhere in the world. You can also send voice messages so that your family can receive them at their convenience, and vice versa.

When you are home, be sure to schedule time when you are together. You don’t have to do anything special. Just make time to be in each other’s company and talk.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating a guy this year who seemed attentive. We would get together at least once a week, sometimes more. Then summer came. He has been virtually absent all summer long. There has always been an excuse, like he had to travel here or there to deal with family or to help a sick friend. Summer is almost over, and I have hardly seen him. It has been so bad that I haven’t even been able to sit down with him and find out what’s going on. He couldn’t be more different now than he was for the previous six months. Should I just move on, or should I try to get a handle on things? -- Rogue Boyfriend

DEAR ROGUE BOYFRIEND: If you can’t even find your “boyfriend” in order to talk to him about his absence, you need to take a step back. You don’t necessarily have to do anything, just stop trying to force something to happen. Clearly, he has made other choices that have filled his time for the past several weeks. You don’t like it, and you can’t seem to do anything about it. Stepping away is a viable option.

If and when he resurfaces, be quiet and let him explain himself. Don’t be quick to take him back, though. Being with you wasn’t convenient for him for an entire season; should it be convenient for you now?

DEAR HARRIETTE: A trusted and close family member of mine has a problem with spending money that she does not have. She uses my credit cards, along with certain other relatives' credit cards, sometimes asking for permission and other times behind our backs. She is always asking to borrow money. This family member claims she doesn’t live to impress others, but I think that has a lot to do with it. She buys fancy clothes and goes on vacation, but then will end up late for rent.

We have had several talks with her, but nothing seems to work. Whenever I ask about a trip she is taking and if she can afford it, she lies and says she has the money for it. I recognize this as an unhealthy addiction and would like advice on how to get her to stop these habits that could harm not just her, but us as well. I don't think she will take well to us calling her out on her actions. -- End the Addiction

DEAR END THE ADDICTION: What you and your family can do is stop enabling this family member. There is no reason she should have access to your credit cards, for starters. Go to the issuer and cancel those cards and get new ones issued with new numbers that you do not give her. When she asks to borrow money, say no. Be strong, and refuse to help her. She needs to hit rock bottom in order to learn how to rise from the ashes. As hard as it may be for you to stand by and watch this happen, this is your job now. You can also refer her to debtorsanonymous.org.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)