DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating a guy this year who seemed attentive. We would get together at least once a week, sometimes more. Then summer came. He has been virtually absent all summer long. There has always been an excuse, like he had to travel here or there to deal with family or to help a sick friend. Summer is almost over, and I have hardly seen him. It has been so bad that I haven’t even been able to sit down with him and find out what’s going on. He couldn’t be more different now than he was for the previous six months. Should I just move on, or should I try to get a handle on things? -- Rogue Boyfriend

DEAR ROGUE BOYFRIEND: If you can’t even find your “boyfriend” in order to talk to him about his absence, you need to take a step back. You don’t necessarily have to do anything, just stop trying to force something to happen. Clearly, he has made other choices that have filled his time for the past several weeks. You don’t like it, and you can’t seem to do anything about it. Stepping away is a viable option.

If and when he resurfaces, be quiet and let him explain himself. Don’t be quick to take him back, though. Being with you wasn’t convenient for him for an entire season; should it be convenient for you now?

DEAR HARRIETTE: A trusted and close family member of mine has a problem with spending money that she does not have. She uses my credit cards, along with certain other relatives' credit cards, sometimes asking for permission and other times behind our backs. She is always asking to borrow money. This family member claims she doesn’t live to impress others, but I think that has a lot to do with it. She buys fancy clothes and goes on vacation, but then will end up late for rent.

We have had several talks with her, but nothing seems to work. Whenever I ask about a trip she is taking and if she can afford it, she lies and says she has the money for it. I recognize this as an unhealthy addiction and would like advice on how to get her to stop these habits that could harm not just her, but us as well. I don't think she will take well to us calling her out on her actions. -- End the Addiction

DEAR END THE ADDICTION: What you and your family can do is stop enabling this family member. There is no reason she should have access to your credit cards, for starters. Go to the issuer and cancel those cards and get new ones issued with new numbers that you do not give her. When she asks to borrow money, say no. Be strong, and refuse to help her. She needs to hit rock bottom in order to learn how to rise from the ashes. As hard as it may be for you to stand by and watch this happen, this is your job now. You can also refer her to debtorsanonymous.org.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been someone to have bad breath -- at least as far as I know -- but the other day I was participating in a meeting with a small group of people, and I noticed that whenever I was speaking, they would hold their hands up to their noses. They tried to be discreet about it, but I figured it out after a while.

To be honest, my mouth didn’t taste fresh. I should have brushed my teeth again since my mouth didn’t seem clean, but I was rushing to get to this meeting, so I didn’t. I was mortified when I realized that they were covering their noses because of me. After that, I angled my mouth down and turned away while talking just so I wouldn’t disgust them. When I had a chance I went to the bathroom and rinsed my mouth. Should I have done anything else? I was so embarrassed. -- Bad Breath

DEAR BAD BREATH: You probably consumed something the night before that didn’t move through your body efficiently. You should pay close attention in the coming days to see if halitosis affects you again. If so, you may want to get a medical checkup just to make sure that nothing more serious is going on. Bad breath can be an indicator of a medical condition.

Since you believe you didn’t brush your teeth well, make sure you are more conscientious about brushing, flossing and using an antiseptic mouthwash in the future. As far as what you should do if faced with offensive bad breath in the future, pay attention to how others in close proximity react to you. You were wise to angle your mouth away from them so that you weren’t unwittingly directing your breath toward them. You might want to keep mints or antiseptic breath strips handy. They can help neutralize bad breath in the moment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that my co-worker had a heart attack. He is in his mid-50s and way fitter than I am. I was shocked. When I asked him a few questions, I learned that he comes from a family of people with heart disease, and most of the people in his immediate family died before they were his age or close to his age.

My co-worker seems to be taking this seriously, but he also admitted that he has worked two jobs for most of his life and he feels like he needs to keep doing that in order to take care of his family. He says he knows this could cost him his life, but he doesn’t know how to slow down. What can I do to help him make a different decision? He is married with young kids. I can’t imagine him dying. -- Saving My Friend

DEAR SAVING MY FRIEND: You can encourage him to think about the big picture. It might be tough to have fewer dollars to spread around, but if he is gone, his family will not just be without him, but also without any of his income. Encourage him to think about them and do whatever the doctor says to stay as healthy as possible. Retiring from one of his two jobs is something for him to consider.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the first time in eight years, I did not enroll my son in any type of summer camp or organized summer activity. He was tired from his first year in high school and did not want to go back to camp. He has had a few long weekends with his friends and two mini-vacations with our family, but mostly he sleeps and does little to nothing. He has to read a bit before school starts, and I’m having a hard time getting him motivated to do that. Clearly, I made a mistake giving him a break this summer. How can I get him energized before school starts again? -- Lazy Summer

DEAR LAZY SUMMER: Create an agenda from now until the end of the summer. Include daily reading for a specific period of time. Enforce bedtimes and awake times. Make your son get up, and give him a list of chores that he must do each day.

If you have the flexibility, take him places in your city where you can explore the local culture as tourists. Have him help you pick the venues so he is actively involved.

If he balks at first, point out that you realize it wasn’t smart for him to have the whole summer off, so you want to work with him now to discover meaningful ways to fill his remaining time off. Make it clear that there are no options, so he should jump in and help to make it fun. Look online for local activities that you can consider.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am horrified to admit this, but I feel like a lost teenager. I am a middle-aged woman, and I am totally addicted to video games. I have at least three different games going at any one time, and in order to advance, I have to pay little bits of cash along the way. I tell myself I am not going to spend another dollar only to find myself clicking “yes” to another $10 here or $20 there. It’s crazy! But I am at my wits’ end about it. I pick up my tablet or phone whenever I have a few extra minutes and get absorbed into one game or another. Now I know why teens seem entranced by these games. I am, too. How can I curb my seemingly uncontrolled video game habit? -- Addicted to Gaming

DEAR ADDICTED TO GAMING: The marketers of video games are so smart that they have figured out how to suck people in and keep them there for as long as possible. You are right that it feels like an addiction. For many people, it is just that.

How can you take back control of your time and money? Put time limits on when you can handle your devices. Since you need your phone for talking, take the video games off it so that your temptation is removed. Keep them on your tablet only. Then keep the tablet in a central area of your home or workplace that is just out of reach. Give yourself windows of time when you can engage in your games. Set an alarm so that you know when your time is up. Force yourself to stop.

This is mind over matter. You can do it, but you need to make it hard to access the applications or else it will be extremely difficult to win this battle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)