DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating a guy this year who seemed attentive. We would get together at least once a week, sometimes more. Then summer came. He has been virtually absent all summer long. There has always been an excuse, like he had to travel here or there to deal with family or to help a sick friend. Summer is almost over, and I have hardly seen him. It has been so bad that I haven’t even been able to sit down with him and find out what’s going on. He couldn’t be more different now than he was for the previous six months. Should I just move on, or should I try to get a handle on things? -- Rogue Boyfriend
DEAR ROGUE BOYFRIEND: If you can’t even find your “boyfriend” in order to talk to him about his absence, you need to take a step back. You don’t necessarily have to do anything, just stop trying to force something to happen. Clearly, he has made other choices that have filled his time for the past several weeks. You don’t like it, and you can’t seem to do anything about it. Stepping away is a viable option.
If and when he resurfaces, be quiet and let him explain himself. Don’t be quick to take him back, though. Being with you wasn’t convenient for him for an entire season; should it be convenient for you now?