DEAR HARRIETTE: For the first time in eight years, I did not enroll my son in any type of summer camp or organized summer activity. He was tired from his first year in high school and did not want to go back to camp. He has had a few long weekends with his friends and two mini-vacations with our family, but mostly he sleeps and does little to nothing. He has to read a bit before school starts, and I’m having a hard time getting him motivated to do that. Clearly, I made a mistake giving him a break this summer. How can I get him energized before school starts again? -- Lazy Summer

DEAR LAZY SUMMER: Create an agenda from now until the end of the summer. Include daily reading for a specific period of time. Enforce bedtimes and awake times. Make your son get up, and give him a list of chores that he must do each day.

If you have the flexibility, take him places in your city where you can explore the local culture as tourists. Have him help you pick the venues so he is actively involved.

If he balks at first, point out that you realize it wasn’t smart for him to have the whole summer off, so you want to work with him now to discover meaningful ways to fill his remaining time off. Make it clear that there are no options, so he should jump in and help to make it fun. Look online for local activities that you can consider.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am horrified to admit this, but I feel like a lost teenager. I am a middle-aged woman, and I am totally addicted to video games. I have at least three different games going at any one time, and in order to advance, I have to pay little bits of cash along the way. I tell myself I am not going to spend another dollar only to find myself clicking “yes” to another $10 here or $20 there. It’s crazy! But I am at my wits’ end about it. I pick up my tablet or phone whenever I have a few extra minutes and get absorbed into one game or another. Now I know why teens seem entranced by these games. I am, too. How can I curb my seemingly uncontrolled video game habit? -- Addicted to Gaming

DEAR ADDICTED TO GAMING: The marketers of video games are so smart that they have figured out how to suck people in and keep them there for as long as possible. You are right that it feels like an addiction. For many people, it is just that.

How can you take back control of your time and money? Put time limits on when you can handle your devices. Since you need your phone for talking, take the video games off it so that your temptation is removed. Keep them on your tablet only. Then keep the tablet in a central area of your home or workplace that is just out of reach. Give yourself windows of time when you can engage in your games. Set an alarm so that you know when your time is up. Force yourself to stop.

This is mind over matter. You can do it, but you need to make it hard to access the applications or else it will be extremely difficult to win this battle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was raised in a conservative family and now work at a progressive media company where I create content that my parents do not approve of. I do not think we will be able to reconcile our ideological differences, and I’m worried that our relationship has been strained as a result. How can I maintain a good relationship with my parents when we fundamentally disagree on a topic that my entire career is based on? -- Creative Son

DEAR CREATIVE SON: Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. You can remind your parents that you love them and appreciate all that they did for you to bring you to adulthood. You also need to have the difficult conversation that explains that as an adult you have to make your own decisions. Make it clear that you understand that your choice of employment runs counter to their beliefs. You need to own your choice and be unequivocal about why you have made it. Tell them that hurting or embarrassing them is not your intention. At the same time, you need to live your life.

You can offer a truce, in the sense that you will live your life, promise to be the best person you can be and not flaunt your ideological differences in their faces. You can agree not to talk about your work but simply to enjoy one another when you are together or when you communicate.

As difficult as this seems, know that many parents and adult children do not agree on important issues. Your job is to help your parents love you in spite of your choices as you love them in spite of their judgment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is French, and while I am fluent in French, I cannot understand him unless he is making an effort to speak clearly. When he is talking with his friends, my lack of understanding becomes an issue for me. When this happens, I feel really awful, but I do not know if I should tell my boyfriend’s friends this. Am I just being overly self-conscious? How should I confront them about this without deprecating myself? -- Not French

DEAR NOT FRENCH: You are an equal party in this relationship. It is fine for you to speak up. Next time your boyfriend and his friends are together with you and they start speaking so fast that you don’t understand, insert yourself and ask them if they would slow down a bit. State the obvious -- that, yes, you speak French, but it’s hard for you to keep up. Ask them if they would try to remember that you are part of the conversation and slow down just a bit so that you can participate more fully.

You can follow up by asking them to repeat themselves at certain points in the conversation if you believe you missed a salient point.

Privately ask your boyfriend to be more mindful of the fact that you sometimes have a hard time keeping up with the conversation when he and his friends speak fast. Ask him to help you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started a new job, and I am the only African American person in the entire workplace. I don't know how to feel or what to expect because this is the first time I've been the only minority at my place of work. I'm not sure if I should even pay attention to it or if I should keep my guard up. While I don't want to be at work with a negative perspective, I can tell that most of the employees are a little shocked that I got this position. Some are masking it by being overly nice. Can you give me some tips on how to be comfortable in an environment where no one looks like me? -- Stand Out

DEAR STAND OUT: Even today, in 2019, there are many work environments that are not diverse. As in your case, believe it or not, there are still workplaces where someone can be the “first” person to diversify the workforce. Naturally, that can feel awkward -- for you and for the other employees. Rather than being self-conscious, hunker down and do your job. Figure out what success looks like in your company. Find out what the markers are for being a stellar employee and fulfilling the requirements of your job, and do your best to be excellent.

You will also need to build rapport with your co-workers. Go slowly on this front. Be a keen observer. Notice what my mother calls “the bright lights in the room.” Who stands out for you as a friendly, welcoming person? Befriend those people first. Also, take note of anyone who seems to dislike you. Keep those people in your peripheral vision so that you are aware of any efforts they might make to derail you. Stay the course. Believe in yourself. Hone your skills when needed. Ask questions of your supervisor. Demonstrate that you have the abilities and desire to be in that role.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out that a good friend of mine that I thought I was getting to know better was lying to me about certain aspects of his life. We talked every day, and I felt he was becoming someone I could open up to. While the topic he lied about is juvenile and I understand that he did it to make himself look better, he broke my trust. My No. 1 rule is having no liars around me, but this is how I've lost friends in the past. I simply cut off individuals who break my trust, even if it is for the first time.

I'm debating whether I'm too harsh and should give people more chances, or am I right to cut people off? I don't want to lose my friend, but I wonder if he was a real friend at all or if he lied about other things? -- Rejecting Liars

DEAR REJECTING LIARS: Your hard line about lying may be too rigid. It may be best to look at each relationship individually to assess whether you can forgive a person for a particular behavior, or if the person went too far.

In this case, you say that the lie was juvenile and seemingly insignificant. Perhaps you can talk to your friend about what happened, let him know how you feel about people who lie to you and explain to him that you are reluctant to remain his friend. Admit that you are now worried about whether he has lied about other things or if he will lie to you in the future. Talk it out to see if forgiveness has a place in this friendship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)