DEAR HARRIETTE: I was raised in a conservative family and now work at a progressive media company where I create content that my parents do not approve of. I do not think we will be able to reconcile our ideological differences, and I’m worried that our relationship has been strained as a result. How can I maintain a good relationship with my parents when we fundamentally disagree on a topic that my entire career is based on? -- Creative Son

DEAR CREATIVE SON: Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. You can remind your parents that you love them and appreciate all that they did for you to bring you to adulthood. You also need to have the difficult conversation that explains that as an adult you have to make your own decisions. Make it clear that you understand that your choice of employment runs counter to their beliefs. You need to own your choice and be unequivocal about why you have made it. Tell them that hurting or embarrassing them is not your intention. At the same time, you need to live your life.

You can offer a truce, in the sense that you will live your life, promise to be the best person you can be and not flaunt your ideological differences in their faces. You can agree not to talk about your work but simply to enjoy one another when you are together or when you communicate.

As difficult as this seems, know that many parents and adult children do not agree on important issues. Your job is to help your parents love you in spite of your choices as you love them in spite of their judgment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is French, and while I am fluent in French, I cannot understand him unless he is making an effort to speak clearly. When he is talking with his friends, my lack of understanding becomes an issue for me. When this happens, I feel really awful, but I do not know if I should tell my boyfriend’s friends this. Am I just being overly self-conscious? How should I confront them about this without deprecating myself? -- Not French

DEAR NOT FRENCH: You are an equal party in this relationship. It is fine for you to speak up. Next time your boyfriend and his friends are together with you and they start speaking so fast that you don’t understand, insert yourself and ask them if they would slow down a bit. State the obvious -- that, yes, you speak French, but it’s hard for you to keep up. Ask them if they would try to remember that you are part of the conversation and slow down just a bit so that you can participate more fully.

You can follow up by asking them to repeat themselves at certain points in the conversation if you believe you missed a salient point.

Privately ask your boyfriend to be more mindful of the fact that you sometimes have a hard time keeping up with the conversation when he and his friends speak fast. Ask him to help you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started a new job, and I am the only African American person in the entire workplace. I don't know how to feel or what to expect because this is the first time I've been the only minority at my place of work. I'm not sure if I should even pay attention to it or if I should keep my guard up. While I don't want to be at work with a negative perspective, I can tell that most of the employees are a little shocked that I got this position. Some are masking it by being overly nice. Can you give me some tips on how to be comfortable in an environment where no one looks like me? -- Stand Out

DEAR STAND OUT: Even today, in 2019, there are many work environments that are not diverse. As in your case, believe it or not, there are still workplaces where someone can be the “first” person to diversify the workforce. Naturally, that can feel awkward -- for you and for the other employees. Rather than being self-conscious, hunker down and do your job. Figure out what success looks like in your company. Find out what the markers are for being a stellar employee and fulfilling the requirements of your job, and do your best to be excellent.

You will also need to build rapport with your co-workers. Go slowly on this front. Be a keen observer. Notice what my mother calls “the bright lights in the room.” Who stands out for you as a friendly, welcoming person? Befriend those people first. Also, take note of anyone who seems to dislike you. Keep those people in your peripheral vision so that you are aware of any efforts they might make to derail you. Stay the course. Believe in yourself. Hone your skills when needed. Ask questions of your supervisor. Demonstrate that you have the abilities and desire to be in that role.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out that a good friend of mine that I thought I was getting to know better was lying to me about certain aspects of his life. We talked every day, and I felt he was becoming someone I could open up to. While the topic he lied about is juvenile and I understand that he did it to make himself look better, he broke my trust. My No. 1 rule is having no liars around me, but this is how I've lost friends in the past. I simply cut off individuals who break my trust, even if it is for the first time.

I'm debating whether I'm too harsh and should give people more chances, or am I right to cut people off? I don't want to lose my friend, but I wonder if he was a real friend at all or if he lied about other things? -- Rejecting Liars

DEAR REJECTING LIARS: Your hard line about lying may be too rigid. It may be best to look at each relationship individually to assess whether you can forgive a person for a particular behavior, or if the person went too far.

In this case, you say that the lie was juvenile and seemingly insignificant. Perhaps you can talk to your friend about what happened, let him know how you feel about people who lie to you and explain to him that you are reluctant to remain his friend. Admit that you are now worried about whether he has lied about other things or if he will lie to you in the future. Talk it out to see if forgiveness has a place in this friendship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: We recently went on a family vacation, and our overall time was great. However, there were some uncomfortable moments. My father invited some of his family from Florida and South Carolina, and instead of exhibiting Southern charm, they were pretty rude. Our family welcomed them with open arms and tried to show them a good time, but they seemed ungrateful.

One 15-year-old kept making rude comments about my sisters and me, and when we had had enough, we confronted him about it. My dad was upset with us because he believed that since he is a minor, his mother should have been made aware of his behavior. My sisters and I are in our early 20s. What would you have done if you were in our situation? -- Family Reunion Blues

DEAR FAMILY REUNION BLUES: Your father wanted to be a gracious host. Despite whatever squabbles occurred, he wanted to stay above the fray. That is a noble philosophy, but it doesn’t take into account what happens in the moment.

As young adults, I understand why you felt you should have the agency to speak up for yourselves when your teenage cousin had gone too far with his rude comments. You haven’t detailed exactly what transpired to provoke your reaction nor specifically what you said to your cousin, but in general I can say that it can be helpful for people to work out their differences face to face if it can be done civilly. It is also true that the parent of a minor can and should be informed if that child is behaving inappropriately. In that case, the protocol would have been for you to report the behavior to your father and have him speak to the parent.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is a single parent. This summer he unexpectedly dropped off his 4-year-old at our mom's house. He said he feels overwhelmed by being a single parent and needs some time to himself to recalibrate. I live close to our mom, so I’ve been helping her out, but it's quite an imposition on both of us to care for our niece for the whole summer. I love my niece, but she’s not our responsibility. How can I find the balance between helping out my brother and maintaining my own life balance? -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Clear lines of communication are needed here. Being a single parent can feel overwhelming at times, and as the saying goes, it does take a village to raise a child. But the village needs to be aware and willing. Dropping off a child without warning is irresponsible, even if the drop-off is to Mom’s house.

A plan should have been designed that everyone signed off on regarding time for taking the child, shared responsibilities, along with any quirks or peculiarities about the child that the family should know. It is not too late to call your brother and come to a meeting of the minds about what’s happening now. He may need to pick up his daughter early if the visit is too much of an imposition.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)