DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you approach teen smartphone and computer usage? I think my son’s constant use of phones and other screens -- especially at night -- is not great for his health. He is 16 years old and is constantly on some device. I know that he plays interactive video games with his friends, but I am worried about whatever else he may be doing. What are some ways I can limit his phone usage without being too harsh? -- Phone a Friend

DEAR PHONE A FRIEND: Your son is getting to the age where he will want more independence, yet as a teenager, he still needs your guidance. If you haven’t told him already, let him know that you reserve the right to see what he’s viewing and with whom he is communicating whenever you choose. You should conduct spot checks regularly so that you get a clear sense of what he is doing. He will not like this. Remind him that your job is to protect him, which is why you need to know what he’s up to. You can point out that as much as you love and trust him, you know that he has a teenage brain. That means that no matter how smart he is, sometimes he may make bad decisions. Your job, with your mature brain and parenting role, is to be a guiding support for him -- even if he doesn’t like it.

Further, you can limit screen time. You can give a screens-off time, like a bedtime, that you enforce by having your son put his cellphone in a common area to be charged. Similarly, his computer can be put in a common area and turned off for the evening. He won’t like this, but this is a sure way to limit his interactions outside of your home after hours.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few months ago because we just weren’t getting along well. I didn’t want to lead her on, so I thought we should end our relationship. I’ve heard recently that she took the breakup hard and hates me. This has not been my experience, with my few interactions with her being awkward but cordial. Do you think I can do anything to help her, or should I just wait and not talk to her until much later when it is more likely she is over me? -- Handling Heartbreak

DEAR HANDLING HEARTBREAK: You may want to request one meeting with your ex-girlfriend where you tell her that you did not mean to hurt her and that you are sorry she is suffering right now. Tell her that you hope she will be OK soon. Allow her to speak her mind. Be sure that you acknowledge her feelings as you stand your ground. If you do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore, be clear about that so that she doesn’t misread the reason for this meeting.

When it is finished, wish her well and step away. If you are ever to be friendly in the future, she will have to heal and move on with her life just as you are moving on with yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a job -- finally. I am excited but also a bit worried. I will be working at an upscale restaurant that has many expectations about how the staff behaves. They expect us to speak perfect English and to know all of the rules of etiquette. I’m not sure how I was hired, because there is so much that I do not know. Still, I will give it my all. Do you have any recommendations for how I can get up to speed quickly? -- Knowing the Rules

DEAR KNOWING THE RULES: The good news is that you were hired even though you don’t think you have all of the skills. This means that your employer has faith in you. What you can do is to get some books to review the basics of etiquette. You may want to look at etiquette podcasts for guidance, too. These are from the Emily Post Foundation: emilypost.com/awesome-etiquette-podcast. You can also get a grammar book to study the nuances of grammar to help you refine your public speaking. You may consider joining Toastmasters, an organization that teaches communications skills.

Finally, you should talk to your supervisor and ask if there is a manual or other handbook that is used at the restaurant that can help you to master your job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am confused about our current political landscape. When I listen to the president talk, I hear him proudly saying all of these things that he has done for the benefit of this group or that. Then I listen to a variety of pundits who discredit each point with tremendous energy. I can’t tell what is the truth. How can I figure it out? -- Where Is the Truth?

DEAR WHERE IS THE TRUTH?: If your goal is to discover the truth independent of political party, you will need to do a lot of digging. You have to look at what the president and others say and then look at news sites on both sides of the aisle to see how they are being unpacked. Further, search online for legal documents that may provide evidence of truth. You may be able to find them in the Congressional Record.

Beyond that, your responsibility is to sort through all that you find and hear and make an assessment of what you believe to be true. In politics it is difficult to know for sure when the truth is being told. That seems horrible, I know. But the reality is that politicians often twist the truth to support their claims.

You should know that whether or not you support the president, there are positive things that the administration has done as well as some that are questionable. Your job as an American citizen is to pay attention so that you are aware of what is happening with our government. When you appreciate something, say as much. When you object to something, speak up. You can write to the president, write to Congress and communicate with the news media to share your views.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband worked really late the other day. I called him throughout the day to make sure he was OK and to share a cheerful word or two. When he finally got home, I called out to say hello. He didn’t say anything, went into the back of the house and disappeared for hours. I know he was exhausted, but the least he could have done was to have said hello to me before holing up. I don’t want to make a big deal of it, but it hurt my feelings. I don’t know when the right time would be to bring it up. He is completely stressed by work. I don’t want to add to that, but I do want him to be kind to me. How can I get him to think of me? -- Stressed-Out Husband

DEAR STRESSED-OUT HUSBAND: I don’t think this is the right time to bring up your sensitivity. Stress shows itself in many different ways, including not being as thoughtful or kind to loved ones as would be preferable.

Instead of focusing on your husband’s inattentiveness on that one evening, do your best to stay positive. Try to talk to him to get a sense of how he’s doing. Remind him that you want to be there to support him in whatever ways you can. You should also tell him that this period is tough for both of you. Ask him if you can support each other as you go through this. This is how you can get across the message that you are worried and concerned and that it is important for you that he stay connected to you through this period.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I belong to a sorority that is active at my alma mater. Every year at homecoming, my sorority hosts a huge celebration, and people come back to participate even if they graduated decades ago. My sisters have contacted me every year to invite me to come back and hang out with them, but there has always been some reason that it hasn’t worked out.

This fall marks a big anniversary for us, and they have started calling again. Part of me wants to go, but then I realize that I don’t even know most of these women. We don’t look the same, and I haven’t kept in touch. I don’t want to be an embarrassment if I stumble over people’s names -- or worse. Should I just stay home? -- Homecoming Blues

DEAR HOMECOMING BLUES: Don’t let your distance from this group keep you away. Instead, go for it. Let them know you are coming, and then identify one person whom you may know a bit better and ask her to support you. Admit that because you have not been around, you don’t know most of the women. Ask if there is a document or file that has contemporary photos of your sorority sisters. You might even want to send a note in a group chat telling everyone that you are coming and apologizing in advance if you stumble a bit. Tell them your heart is in the right place even if your memory lags. By being upfront about your challenges, you open the door for them to welcome you warmly and support you. Go and have fun!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)