DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband worked really late the other day. I called him throughout the day to make sure he was OK and to share a cheerful word or two. When he finally got home, I called out to say hello. He didn’t say anything, went into the back of the house and disappeared for hours. I know he was exhausted, but the least he could have done was to have said hello to me before holing up. I don’t want to make a big deal of it, but it hurt my feelings. I don’t know when the right time would be to bring it up. He is completely stressed by work. I don’t want to add to that, but I do want him to be kind to me. How can I get him to think of me? -- Stressed-Out Husband

DEAR STRESSED-OUT HUSBAND: I don’t think this is the right time to bring up your sensitivity. Stress shows itself in many different ways, including not being as thoughtful or kind to loved ones as would be preferable.

Instead of focusing on your husband’s inattentiveness on that one evening, do your best to stay positive. Try to talk to him to get a sense of how he’s doing. Remind him that you want to be there to support him in whatever ways you can. You should also tell him that this period is tough for both of you. Ask him if you can support each other as you go through this. This is how you can get across the message that you are worried and concerned and that it is important for you that he stay connected to you through this period.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I belong to a sorority that is active at my alma mater. Every year at homecoming, my sorority hosts a huge celebration, and people come back to participate even if they graduated decades ago. My sisters have contacted me every year to invite me to come back and hang out with them, but there has always been some reason that it hasn’t worked out.

This fall marks a big anniversary for us, and they have started calling again. Part of me wants to go, but then I realize that I don’t even know most of these women. We don’t look the same, and I haven’t kept in touch. I don’t want to be an embarrassment if I stumble over people’s names -- or worse. Should I just stay home? -- Homecoming Blues

DEAR HOMECOMING BLUES: Don’t let your distance from this group keep you away. Instead, go for it. Let them know you are coming, and then identify one person whom you may know a bit better and ask her to support you. Admit that because you have not been around, you don’t know most of the women. Ask if there is a document or file that has contemporary photos of your sorority sisters. You might even want to send a note in a group chat telling everyone that you are coming and apologizing in advance if you stumble a bit. Tell them your heart is in the right place even if your memory lags. By being upfront about your challenges, you open the door for them to welcome you warmly and support you. Go and have fun!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever I run into people I’ve met before and they approach me knowing my name, I always feel really bad when I forget theirs. What are some ways that I can either admit to forgetting somebody’s name in a less embarrassing way or have them tell me their names naturally within the conversation? -- Can't Remember

DEAR CAN’T REMEMBER: This is my Achilles’ heel! I am really bad at remembering names, which I admit only to acknowledge that it can be hard for anyone. I try not to claim anything negative about myself and instead actively choose to engage the positive, so because I know this is a weak area, I do a few things that may be helpful to you. Most important, I welcome people warmly, making eye contact and saying anything appropriate about how we know each other. For me, I don’t usually forget the association I have with a person. It’s generally just the name.

Many people have researched ways to support name recall. Among the common suggestions are to pay complete attention to a person when you meet; notice distinguishable characteristics and attempt to associate them with key words that may jog your memory; and repeat the person’s name while making eye contact.

When you are with other people, let them know that you need support in remembering names. Ask them to jump in and introduce themselves and ask the other person’s name when you are making introductions. When this happens, make sure you are paying close attention. Write down the person’s name and something that’s identifiable about them as soon as you can. If you get stumped, apologize and admit that you don’t remember names well. Ask the person to remind you of their name when there’s no other option.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I share a bathroom with my grandmother, and she tends to be in the bathroom when I really need to use it. Sometimes this results in my being late for work, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to find a solution due to her being irrational. How can I resolve this issue? -- Bathroom Politics

DEAR BATHROOM POLITICS: Your grandmother is trying to get your attention. What you may want to do is figure out ways in which you can spend a bit more time with her during the day or evening that is special for the two of you. I bet if she feels that you are making her a priority, she may lighten up on her control over the bathroom.

Specific to the bathroom, consider taking your showers at night so that you need less time in the bathroom in the morning. Get up an hour or more earlier than usual and quietly go into the bathroom. Do what you have to do and get out of there in a timely manner so that your grandmother doesn’t feel that you are taking up her time. Adopt a positive attitude rather than one of disdain or irritation. That you have your grandmother is a blessing, even if she can be annoying at times. Show her love and notice if she softens a bit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a performance recently, and although I invited my friends, none of them came for some reason or another. It hurt me that nobody showed. Whenever any of them has something going on, I’m there. This was a big deal for me, and I just don’t understand how everybody could bail.

I got really mad at my friends the day after my performance, and now I do not know what to do. I think I should apologize about my outburst because I did say some strong words to them about loyalty and friendship, but I’m still upset that nobody came. What do you think I should do? -- No-Show

DEAR NO-SHOW: If your friendship bond means that normally you and your friends are there for one another, it’s understandable that you would be hurt that they didn’t come out to support you. Go back in your memory to verify what normally happens. Do they actually make the time to be there for you? Or is it more that you make the time for them? Unconsciously, you may be the one who is always present, not realizing that the relationship is unbalanced.

Another possibility could be if your performance came with a price tag, which may have been prohibitive for your friends. That’s not to say that your performance isn’t worth people paying to see, but I learned long ago not to count other people’s money.

Your next steps should include apologizing for your heated comments. Tell your friends you were upset but meant no harm. You can add that you still do not understand why they weren’t there for you.

If you choose to build a performance career, you will need to build an audience of people who are genuinely interested in what you are offering, not just people who love you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend just came back from his second stint in rehab for drug addiction. I do not know how to treat him nowadays. I’m afraid if I act like nothing has happened to him, it may result in him backsliding or even worse. However, I also think that being too cautious and overbearing is inconsiderate. How should I act? -- Proceed With Caution

DEAR PROCEED WITH CAUTION: Don’t act like nothing happened. Talk to your friend. Ask him how he is feeling. Ask him if he wants to talk about what he experienced while in rehab and what his plans are now that he is out. Do your best to get him to talk. Let him know that you don’t mean to pry. What you want is to be there for him and to support him in whatever ways you can so that he can be successful this time.

You must also recognize that you are not responsible for his sobriety. This is his journey. He has decisions to make and actions to take in order to fortify himself. What you can do is indulge in nothing, including alcohol, around him. Be sober and clear-headed. And be a support to him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)