DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a performance recently, and although I invited my friends, none of them came for some reason or another. It hurt me that nobody showed. Whenever any of them has something going on, I’m there. This was a big deal for me, and I just don’t understand how everybody could bail.

I got really mad at my friends the day after my performance, and now I do not know what to do. I think I should apologize about my outburst because I did say some strong words to them about loyalty and friendship, but I’m still upset that nobody came. What do you think I should do? -- No-Show

DEAR NO-SHOW: If your friendship bond means that normally you and your friends are there for one another, it’s understandable that you would be hurt that they didn’t come out to support you. Go back in your memory to verify what normally happens. Do they actually make the time to be there for you? Or is it more that you make the time for them? Unconsciously, you may be the one who is always present, not realizing that the relationship is unbalanced.

Another possibility could be if your performance came with a price tag, which may have been prohibitive for your friends. That’s not to say that your performance isn’t worth people paying to see, but I learned long ago not to count other people’s money.

Your next steps should include apologizing for your heated comments. Tell your friends you were upset but meant no harm. You can add that you still do not understand why they weren’t there for you.

If you choose to build a performance career, you will need to build an audience of people who are genuinely interested in what you are offering, not just people who love you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend just came back from his second stint in rehab for drug addiction. I do not know how to treat him nowadays. I’m afraid if I act like nothing has happened to him, it may result in him backsliding or even worse. However, I also think that being too cautious and overbearing is inconsiderate. How should I act? -- Proceed With Caution

DEAR PROCEED WITH CAUTION: Don’t act like nothing happened. Talk to your friend. Ask him how he is feeling. Ask him if he wants to talk about what he experienced while in rehab and what his plans are now that he is out. Do your best to get him to talk. Let him know that you don’t mean to pry. What you want is to be there for him and to support him in whatever ways you can so that he can be successful this time.

You must also recognize that you are not responsible for his sobriety. This is his journey. He has decisions to make and actions to take in order to fortify himself. What you can do is indulge in nothing, including alcohol, around him. Be sober and clear-headed. And be a support to him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am really worried about my husband. He seems to be in good enough health. He exercises daily and eats well, but he hasn't had a physical in more than 10 years. He doesn't believe in going to the doctor. Instead he reads about holistic alternatives to traditional medicine and chooses to "heal" himself whenever he has an issue. One time, that landed him in the hospital because he did the wrong thing, but he still didn't get a physical.

Fast-forward to a friend of ours who also doesn't go to the doctor. He was not feeling well and finally did go, and he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I know I am being dramatic here, but I am so worried that my husband might have something awful wrong with him and we won't know until it's too late because he refuses to go to the doctor. What can I do to get him to get at least one physical? -- ANTI-DOCTOR

DEAR ANTI-DOCTOR: Your husband and your friend are not unusual, sad to say. Many men do not go to the doctor regularly. What you might point out to your husband is that Western medicine is excellent at diagnostics. There is so much technology and knowledge around determining the status of one's health that it is worthwhile engaging that system just to learn where you stand. After getting the information on your body's health, then you can make a decision regarding what to do about it.

Many people who prefer holistic or alternative medicine use Western diagnoses to guide their next steps. Suggest this to your husband. You can also remind him that you love him and want him to be alive and healthy. Point out that you are worried about your friend who waited too long to see the doctor to be able to have treatment options for his condition. You don't want that to happen to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I would like to improve my productivity at home. I cannot resist the comforts in my home, whether it be the sofa, the bed or even my desk. What are some tips I can implement to keep from getting distracted and lazy when I need to work? I am an independent contractor, and I do most of my work from home. -- HOMEBODY

DEAR HOMEBODY: You may need to identify a different workspace to use so that you can be more productive. Consider your public library, your local coffee shop or another local business that offers Wi-Fi. Research co-working spaces to see if there is one that you can afford to go to during the week. Even if you do this temporarily, you may discover ways to step up your work game so that you can stay focused.

At home, set up your desk as your office. Put only essential work items there, and use it only when you are to be formally working. Do not go into other areas of your home to perch during your workday. Make your desk the focus of your business and treat it as a private office. When you get up in the morning, take a shower, get dressed as if you are going out to work, and then go to your desk. If you can develop the discipline of using your desk as a formal workspace, you may be able to solve your focus issues.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends asked me if she can borrow a formal dress for an event that she is attending. She has a limited budget and really can't afford to go out and buy a gown. Under normal circumstances, I would be OK with that. She seems responsible, and I hardly wear my formal clothes.

My issue is that she has significant body odor. I think that she does not wear deodorant. She is one of those earthy-crunchy type of people who like to do vitamins and everything all-natural. For the most part, I don't care so much about that. But I fear that if I let her wear my dress, there will be an odor in it that will never come out. How do I address this with her? -- BORROWING A DRESS

DEAR BORROWING A DRESS: Usually I steer clear of body odor conversations, as they are so incredibly personal and often have to do with more than simply using deodorant. The way people smell is often associated with the food they eat and their overall health. That said, in this case, you have a very specific reason to open up this discussion. There is no easy way around it.

In private, you need to speak to your friend and tell her your concerns. Acknowledge that you would like for her to be able to wear your dress, but that you have some reservations. Be direct. Tell her that you notice that she sometimes has a strong body smell and you are concerned that it will linger in your dress. Ask her if she wears deodorant or if she is willing to wear it in your dress. Tell her you do not mean to be rude, but you are just being practical. This will likely be a bit of an awkward conversation, but the alternative is either that you say no without explanation or say yes and accept that you may have to forfeit wearing your dress again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm planning to retire next year. I have saved my money and invested fairly well, so I am prepared to make this move. I feel confident about my decision, but my friends are giving me grief. They think I am crazy to retire in my 50s.

When I listen to them, I hear the choices they have made along with the challenges they have faced that have derailed them financially. But that is not my story. How can I get my friends to lay off me? We all have our individual lives to lead. Why can't they trust that I am doing what is right for me? -- READY TO RETIRE

DEAR READY TO RETIRE: Your friends are projecting their fears onto you. That is natural for people to do, though it is not helpful to you. What you should do is verify your financial situation with your financial adviser or consultant, where you review what you have and what you think you need for the projected remainder of your life. If you are still confident about retiring, stand in that conviction.

As far as your friends go, be definitive with them about your choice and let it be. You can thank them for their concerns as you assure them that you have made your decision. You can also ask them to stop pestering you about it. Point out that you don't chastise them about their finances. You want them to do the same for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)